Mom... Fxck you!! (vent) **UPDATE** just got home from ER

BabyMcBride8_27

As a lot of you know, my fiancé and I are staying with my mom until we can afford an apartment (hopefully next month!). I'm not asked to pay any type of rent here. Instead, we put $300 worth of food in the fridge, that my sister and her friends ate, we help keep the place clean, etc. Well, I'll be 32 weeks on Wednesday, and my mom still expects me to scrub toilets, tubs, floors, base boards, etc. I try to explain to her that I just can't do it, so she's tells me I'm using the pregnancy as an excuse. Believe me, I wish I were. Well, she'll give me this long list of things she wants done before she gets home from work. I'll do what I can, and my fiancé will come home from working all day to finish the rest. If the list isn't done, it's the end of the world. She's been telling me for the past few weeks that if her house isn't clean when she comes home that I'm not getting a baby shower.. GOOD! I didn't want one in the first place! She tells me she's not spending all this money on a baby shower when I'm slacking. DON'T! I honestly don't give a damn! I'm 100% sure I'm not going to the damn shower because that automatically means I owe her for it. There's nothing that can be done about the whole situation. It's how my mom is and will always be. I just needed to rant a little. Keep your fingers crossed that we are able to get out of here soon!

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blueberrysmom

Wow! My fingers AND toes are crossed for you!

BabyMcBride8_27

@Mommy_of_two I know it won't cause any harm to me or the baby, but physically & mentally I am absolutely exhausted. Half the time I can't even think straight. (I've obviously been having problems sleeping at night! Lol) She doesn't want to give me the tiniest little break. I just can't take it anymore. I really feel like I'm losing touch with reality after all the things that have happened and continue happening with this pregnancy.

@blueberrysmom Thank you!

tlj2011

Every pregnancy is different. My first 2 I could do any and everything through the day I delivered. My last one and this one I couldn't any typeb of physical activity. I am lucky if I can make it through walmart to get groceries. Some people can run marathons all during their pregnancy but trust they are not the majority. Don't do anything you don't physically feel comfortable doing.

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BabyMcBride8_27

@mommy_of_two We've tried everything. No joke. I've tried asking her is we can make some kind of schedule so I can have a few days off during the week, or having the work split between me and my sister.. All that got accomplished was a huge arguement and a lot of stress. So, I tried asking my grandma to talk to her since she's the person who normally keeps my mom in check, but that didn't work either. My mom has never been one to compromise on anything. The only way it's going to stop is when I move out.

jellybeaning11

I'm probly no help either but i find its a whole lot easier to clean a couple hours a day then work full time. I get really exhausted too like as soon as I've had breakfast i want to go back to bed lol but i absolutely cannot rest til the house is clean and i would never let bd come home and have to clean after a full day at work but i get super frustrated at cleaning up after others all the time.

jellybeaning11

Naww sounds like you gonna have to put up with it til you get your own place since no one wants to comprimise. Just hang in there not too much longer to go.

Momma_luvz_her_4

My 1st pregnancy I cleaned houses until I went into labour. I just had myfourth baby last week and 2 of my kids r in music lessons and soccer twice a week for each of them, school events, laundry housrwork etc... Im tired but i do what i have to do. Oh and the kids go to school on the otherside of city i drop n pick them up 30 min car ride there. You'll get used to it.... Hang in there

janellesmommie

I stop cleaning round 28 weeks I only clean my room y cuz ppl in this house r fuckn pigs n eat up my food too so I understand wat u mean 1000%. Have ur sis clean girl!

Kris100717

Sorry im prob no help either but I have to cook, clean, and take care of my 8,7 and 2 yr old and also expecting. maybe u could clean up half then take a nap then clean up the other half. I understand being preg is tiring but just think at a regular job it would be alot worse.

Jaime77

I don't think she needs to be treated like her mom's personal servant just to live there. The threats of having no baby shower for her as well. I get soo mad when I clean all day and my darlings (15,11) turn around and not pick up after themselves. I'm 40+1 still doing it all but it wears on my nerves.

BabyMcBride8_27

I know I probably sound like a brat with all of this. And, I'm pretty sure working a full time job is hell while pregnant, but the cleaning issue is only half of what's going on. About a month or so ago, my fiancé and I couldn't feed ourselves, we had no money, and he was in the process of finding a job. Did my mom help? Nope. We were approved for food stamps, so we spent EVERY dime of $300 for food to put here. Did we get any of it? Nope. Now, I'm going without food until Friday when my fiancé gets his first check. Does my mom care? Nope. So why do I have to go out of my way to clean her house, and cater to her every need just to have a place to live, when technically I pay rent with food? It's like a whole bunch of problems all rolled into one, really. And, all I want is her to work with me, and cut me a little slack every now and then. I'm not a super hero.

Aydonsmommy

I understand where your coming from hun!!! I'm sorry your dealing with that. I go threw the same stuff with my mom even though i no longer live with her. she is living down the street from me and still thinks its ok to call me to vacuum her house or run to the store to get stuff for them. It drives me nuts, but i still cant seem to say no. Heck my lil sister even begged me to come to her softball game the other day and my step dad who is maybe 5 feet from the drink stand has the balls to tell my mom to have me go get them something to drink. Before my mom could even respond i caught the word no coming out of my mouth for the 1st time ever!!! (its 100+ degrees outside n i'm already on the verge of passing out cuz i'm so hot!!!) needless to say she hasnt asked for much since. I think i've gotten one call to run to town for her and that was for ice cream. If it hadnt sounded so good i woulda prob. said no again. lol

Kris100717

Awww well I hope it gets better for u hopefully u and ur hubby will be able to get a place of ur own soon

RizzyChicky

:-/ I'm sorry. Geeh I wonder what your mother was forced to go through when she was preg? My Mom won't let me do anything at my own house at all bc I'm pregnant. Your mother is being unreasonable.

BabyMcBride8_27

@adensmommy0803 THAT SOUNDS LIKE MY MOM!!! Lol. The only difference is that I can say no all I want. For all I know, no isn't even in her vocabulary.

@Kris100717 It'll get better eventually. It just takes time.

@RizzyChicky That's the thing, both times my mom was pregnant, she did NOTHING. And, that's info that came right from my grandma. When she was pregnant, she quit working the day she found out, and stayed at the house. She was living on her own at the time, so she didn't have anyone on her back, AND twice a week, my grandma would go over and help her clean. My mom is a very self-centered person. For example, instead of her getting up off the floor to go get a pair of scissors to finish up the grab bags for the baby shower, she makes my big pregnant ass get up. I hate to say it, but my mom can be a VERY lazy person. I understand she works, but she sits behind a desk, in the a/c, doing paperwork. It's not like she's busting ass physically, ya know?

kay_la_la

Uh everything ive ever read and heard from a dr def says not to do crunchies during pregnancy..not the reg kind anyways. But anyways, i.feel.you, im now 38 weeks and ill have spurts of energy but im still workin full.time and when i have extra time im sooooo tired.. Just wanna wear sweats and lay on the couch lol im sorry:( some people arent considerate. I hope it gets better for you!

BabyMcBride8_27

***So, last night my mom ordered out for dinner (greasy fried chicken, yuk!), and we all sat down to eat, which is when we do the most communicating. I decided I needed to bring up the whole issue. I didn't have any kind of hope that anything would change, but at least I know she got to see everything from another perspective. I told her that I don't mind helping around the house, I don't pay any type of rent here, and it's the least I can do. BUT, there's also a difference between asking me to do a few things everyday, and basically using the fact that I stay here rent free to her advantage. I explained that I'm not asking her to let me sit on my ass all day, but to cut me a little slack, and give me a little time to get some much needed rest during the day. She didn't say much, but I could tell she had some kind of realization about the whole thing, so I dropped it for the night. Well, today, I woke up STARVING, and of course there is NOTHING to eat in the house. And when I say nothing, I mean NOTHING. So, when my mom got home, she told me she was going to the store shortly, and that we're all hungry, because nobody ate today (while my garbage disposal of a sister is munching down on some food she went to the store and bought. Smacking her lips and all, mind you) I explained to my mom that $300 in food stamps would have lasted my fiance' and I well OVER a month, yet they only lasted a week because my sister has no curtisy (sp) for others. And, now that it's come down to it, my sister isn't going without, because the money she didn't use on the food she's been eating, she can now spend on food when everything's gone. I'm pregnant. I don't need to be going without food, especially since my doctor already chewed me out for loosing 7 lbs in 2 weeks. Of course all of this went in one ear and out the other. She bought spaghetti for dinner, that I ended up cooking, and since I hadn't ate all day, I ended up passing out. LUCKILY, my fiance' was right behind me getting a glass of water when it happened. So, I called the ER, went got checked out, everything's fine, BUT THIS CAN'T KEEP GOING ON! I hope that me passing out was a wake up call that something's got to give around here, because this isn't healthy for ANYONE, pregnant or not!

BabyMcBride8_27

***So, last night my mom ordered out for dinner (greasy fried chicken, yuk!), and we all sat down to eat, which is when we do the most communicating. I decided I needed to bring up the whole issue. I didn't have any kind of hope that anything would change, but at least I know she got to see everything from another perspective. I told her that I don't mind helping around the house, I don't pay any type of rent here, and it's the least I can do. BUT, there's also a difference between asking me to do a few things everyday, and basically using the fact that I stay here rent free to her advantage. I explained that I'm not asking her to let me sit on my ass all day, but to cut me a little slack, and give me a little time to get some much needed rest during the day. She didn't say much, but I could tell she had some kind of realization about the whole thing, so I dropped it for the night. Well, today, I woke up STARVING, and of course there is NOTHING to eat in the house. And when I say nothing, I mean NOTHING. So, when my mom got home, she told me she was going to the store shortly, and that we're all hungry, because nobody ate today (while my garbage disposal of a sister is munching down on some food she went to the store and bought. Smacking her lips and all, mind you) I explained to my mom that $300 in food stamps would have lasted my fiance' and I well OVER a month, yet they only lasted a week because my sister has no curtisy (sp) for others. And, now that it's come down to it, my sister isn't going without, because the money she didn't use on the food she's been eating, she can now spend on food when everything's gone. I'm pregnant. I don't need to be going without food, especially since my doctor already chewed me out for loosing 7 lbs in 2 weeks. Of course all of this went in one ear and out the other. She bought spaghetti for dinner, that I ended up cooking, and since I hadn't ate all day, I ended up passing out. LUCKILY, my fiance' was right behind me getting a glass of water when it happened. So, I called the ER, went got checked out, everything's fine, BUT THIS CAN'T KEEP GOING ON! I hope that me passing out was a wake up call that something's got to give around here, because this isn't healthy for ANYONE, pregnant or not!

MommyLovesSparkle

Wow !

Idk what to tell you but I'm so sorry your going through this

whozdher

Wow I'm shocked your mom and sister have no decentcy to feed you or let you rest. Im sorry your going through this hopefully you get your own place soon and everything will work out.maybe now your mom will see what she's doing now its just sad it went that far. Ill be praying thuings get better for you

intri

Hang in there girl!.... you will be fine... eveythings gonna be ok.... just pray and ask for some understanding that ur mom should've give you... take care! And GodBlessS

BabyMcBride8_27

@mommylovessparkle It'll eventually come to an end.

@whozdher My fiancé says the same thing. He can't understand how my mom of all people can treat me like this, but that's just who she is. Hopefully, things will change soon, but I'm not gonna get my hopes up. I just have to learn to deal with it.

@intri Thanks

EricaK22

I'm sorry youre going through this, byt i can totally relate. I dont live with my mom but my bds family. I wake up to written signs telling me what to do. Mind you not everyone in the house is adults! They expect me to clean the entire house being 39 weeks! They dont clean up after their dogs either...and just leave dog pee all over the floors. I refuse to clean that up. They literally hide food in a locked room so i cant get to it, but when i buy food for myself it ends up gone because they eat it all...so im stuck without food until friday too.

jellybeaning11

Omg that is not a mother! Wtf is wrong with her!(sorry lol) this seriously pisses me off. $300 is a lot of money on food! Is there any chance of you could put $100 worth of food away for you and hubby? I really hope you get your own place soon no one should be put through that, pregnant or not!

Jaime77

Grrr.. Ur mom n sis seem like gluttons..tell them it's one of the deadly sins
U need out asap!

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BabyMcBride8_27

The screwed up thing is, we got accepted for food stamps at the begining of this month after having to turn to food banks/friends for food. My fiancé got screwed over with a transfer at his job, and was pretty much unemployed. (It's in a post titled So this is what it's come to, if you want the back story) So, we were approved for $200/month plus $100 for the month we applied. WE PUT ALL $300 IN THE HOUSE. Then, last Saturday we get a letter saying that if my fiancé doesn't go to a meeting Friday morning, that we lose the food stamps. Well, he's working now, BUT we have almost 3 months of bills to catch up on from when he was unemployed, without those food stamps, we probably will be hungry. So, we're not even sure if we're going to have the privledge of another month's worth of food stamps, but IF WE DO, they can kiss my behind, because $100 of it is going in my room, on lock down. If not, whatever we ARE able to buy is going into our bedroom. This is just too much!

@ericak22 @jellybeaning11 @jaime77 @angieahrens

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