any advice on how to feel more comfortable with boyfriends fam.??

dueinaugust11

I've always been a shy person, but it seems like I get sooo much more tense and nervous around his family and I don't know why!! Its so frusterating they are great people and I want to get close with them but something is holding me back and I don't know how to fix it. Btw, boyfriend and I aree movin in their basement as an in law appartment before baby is born. I just wish I could open up more around them, I feel like crap

natashalynn

Don't worry, it always takes time. Maybe work on bonding with one person first. For me, my bfs father is the most outgoing so I tried having conversation with him the most (he was able to carry on most of the convo) and once you feel more comfortable with that person, move to the next on the list?
You can do it hun. Try to have faith in yourself. :x

dueinaugust11

I try. It gets to the point where I avoid going over their house. But pretty soon I'm gonna live there so I gotta really start improving lol. They have a big family, he's even a twin. Its a lotta pressure ha. @natashalynn

blueberrysmom

Picture them naked. Seriously, find one thing nice to say to each person when you see them and use their name in the first sentence that comes out of your mouth. "Sara, that's a neat jacket. I'm crazy about the color!" People love to hear their name and no one can resist a compliment. Also, remember to share stuff about yourself. Everything you tell them is new and interesting and you're probably the most fascinating person they will have met all day. Also, smile freely but be emphatic when you can. Plus, it helps to repeat the last thing they said. It reinforces that you're a good listener. People like to talk about themselves and their name is their favorite word in the English language so you should try to listen more than you talk. It shows interest. Occasionally, put your hand on their forearm or shoulder, look into their eyes, and laugh warmly at something funny they say or say, "Wow! That's so interesting. I never would have thought of that, Sara!" They'll feel special.

BabyMcBride8_27

Oh man, this is nuts! I'm due in August, I can't get comfortable around my fiancés family even though they're super nice, and my fiancé is a twin. Lol. Are you having a girl, too?

dueinaugust11

@blueberrysmom interestingg!! I'm seriously gonna try the picture them naked thing lol! Its so strange tho when I'm around them I get embarrased easily and never know what to say and I'm never like that with anyone else. I think its intimidating to me because I want them to like me so badly because they are my boyfriends family you know? I wish I could loosen up around them but it seems so hard for me. I'm a freak! (

blueberrysmom

Awwww! They probably already like you! You can do it!

dueinaugust11

@babymcbride8_27 yes I'm having a girl!! Haha weird. Is it just your fiances family or has it been ex boyfriends families in the past as well??

jerricab

I'm the same way. My bfs family is really close and they always have get togethers. I'm always just sitting there cuz I'm shy. I feel pressure to because he had a girlfriend before me for 3 years. I wonder if they really liked her or if she was really close to them. But he wants me to move in with him and his parents so we can save money but I'm really not comfortable. I guess it will just take some time.

dueinaugust11

@jerricab feels good to know I'm not the only one. And that must be rough, I'm my boyfriends first serious girlfriend and now last! :-D

BabyMcBride8_27

there was one past relationship where I was okay around his parents, and I think that was because they were so much like my family. I come from a loud italian/cajun family. they're VERY outspoken, and not many things get censored. but, my fiance's family is VERY conservative. I'm always sooo worried I'm going to slip and say something in front of them, or something like that. I guess I'm always walking on eggshells around them, and that's what keeps me so uncomfortable.

minirip

I was the same way for like 2 and a half years of our 3.5 year relationship. I'm still kinda shy around them but talk more then I used to. My bf told his family I'm really shy so they made more of an effort to talk to me which helped because I feel like an idiot when I talk, about anything I just feel dumb ha. I guess what it came down to is taking little steps at a time to talk to them about whatever and just knowing these people are going to be your family. Good luck hun I know its hard but it will get better just keep trrying a little at a time

sdubois

I'm the same way and I've been married for almost 6 years! His family isn't all that great though they aren't horrible but really two faced.And I am really shy and have anxiety. They really didn't care to get to know me from the start and so over the years it kindof just stayed awkward. Were not mean to each other but hello and goodbye are about all we say. I'm so jealous of his relationship with my family but from day one my family went out of their way to make him feel welcomed. Good luck at least you have nice people that will make it easier!

jerricab

@dueinaugust11 that's good that your his first serious girlfriend. That makes things a lot easier.

dueinaugust11

@babymcbride8_27 yea his family is itatian and very large and intimidating to me. But they are all really nice and the type of people who would give the shirts off their backs to u if u needed it. so I'm def lucky to have great people as a future family now I just need to act like they are my family and the way I would act at home. I hate being so uptight ughh.

dueinaugust11

@Minirip lol! I'm the same way. Like ugh why'd I just say that I'm an idiot is how I feel all the time around them.

lae3

Im the same way dont feel bad it will come w time.. Dont force it or it will feel fake

adriels_mommy

Im in the same situation as you are right now, I already live with them, we live uppstairs * they have a victorian house* im naturally a shy person and its so hard for me to feel comfortable ..

dueinaugust11

@Sdubois I've had depression and anxiety and have been on medicine for like the last 5 years ( well not anymore I stopped taking the meds when I got pregnant) I used to be a more outgoing person until I was around 13 yrs old and got bullied in school and after that I've become socially awkward lol its sad but true. Its crazy how being bullied affected me as a person.

dueinaugust11

@lae3 thanks and I really hope it does

dueinaugust11

@Ourlilmiracle what is living with them like? I have a lot of anxiety about actually moving in with them, but maybe that's the push I need to feel closer and more comfortable with them?

valentinasmommy

I'm really shy too. It doesn't help that they don't speak English!lol but my bf always wants me to talk to them on the phone but I just don't know what to say.

adriels_mommy

Its not that bad its just hard to get used to how other people live.. but im not fully comfortable and been there for like a month, I make my bf walk with me to the bathroom and I wont make food I make him do it.. its overwhelming for me sometimes because im used to being able to walk around and just be okay.. he has 5 sisters that all still live there as well. It took me a long time to consider moving in there.

dueinaugust11

@ourlilmiracle 5 sisters?? That would be the worst! My boyfriend has one sister and 3 brothers but the sis is only 8, thank God lol. Do you have like an apartment thing there or just a bedroom??

adriels_mommy

Yes 5 sisters the youngest is 1 and the oldest is 18 .. its crazy living with so many girls lol.. well we have the whole top part of the house and you can make like 2 good size rooms up there .. but its open floor so we have all the space.

dueinaugust11

@ourlilmiracle good at least u have ur own space. That's the main reason we are moving in with his family because we need a place for him me and the coming baby. So they are finishin the basement into an in-law app. and I'm really excited to have my own "place"

adriels_mommy

Yea that is really good,but don't stress or worry so much, everything will be fine.. might take a little time but it'll be just fine

dueinaugust11

@ourlilmiracle thank you! And you too, good luck hunny

mandac10

ha! im married and i havnt met hardly any of my husbands family!! i met a few but in less then a months time frame!! we r planning on having a wedding reception when we leave hawaii n go back home to visit! i am gonna get ambushed and not know any of them! im just gonna get really really drunk and blame my actions on the booze!

anadoll92

Girl me too! I been shy when I wasnt prego now its worse like I make excuse not to go visit

dueinaugust11

@mandac10 haha love ittt! Blame it on the alcohol