Any advice on how to overcome or control insecurities?

pregoagainYAY

I have suffered with insecurities my whole life. I don't know when or why they started but as far back as I can remember I have had them. I have always just shoved them under the rug the best I could as opposed to dealing with them. I know what a lucky girl I am but ONE little dumb thing can happen and I question everything and start to "push" my loved ones away. If I feel I don't have complete control I'm a freaking basket case. I should have fixed this a long time ago but I know its better late than never. I owe this to not only to myself to get this under control but to my husband as well. Any advice or literature that can be recommended would be greatly appreciated.....

Damiens_Mommy

you should talk to my fiance. i had a LOT of issues and insecurities when he and i first met (we met while i was still with my abusive ex husband) he helped build me back up and now i don't bawl like a baby everytime i look in the mirror. i swear the man is a miracle worker. lol ummmm if you want you can inbox me anytime and i'll give you any advice i can think of.

pregoagainYAY

@fae thank you....:)

Damiens_Mommy

@pregoagainYAY no problem sweetie :} i love helping people.

pregoagainYAY

@fae im glad there are people out there like helping people lol.....Its not just a pregnancy thing either I mean this has been as far back as I can remember it's crazy and I feel awful because I am constantly finding things to argue with the hubby about (just to feel control) and I NEVER feel good enough its awful and he does NOTHING to make me feel a negative way lol he's wonderful and im surprised he has stuck around geesh I don't know if I could be that strong......

vette_devil

I understand, hon... I have had anxiety & insecurity issues my whole life, too. All I can say is it seems to be a concious decision you make every day to rise above it. I went to counseling for a few months, but honestly felt like I was "too interesting" to my counselor to ever feel comfortable or helped. But maybe you could find one more helpful?
I try to count my blessings, focus on the silver lining in every cloud, and not beat myself up over the crummy days. I think it also helps to work on figuring out & avoiding triggers, as well as identify the root cause of the issue. For me, it was my mom telling me she wished I was never born & that I was more trouble than I was worth. I felt if she didn't love me, then no one could or would & I wasn't worth it. Now I know better & have the family I always dreamed of.
Good luck hun, I am always here if you need to talk.

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pregoagainYAY

@vette_devil thank you...I think a lot of my issues stem back to my dad cheating and leaving my mom when I was a child and then he married this woman who is absolutely evil but the point of me saying that is I think thats where the "trusting" men problem comes into play.....I had an awful BF years ago that I tried to just help and I was thanked with cheating and drugs behind my back so again with the TRUST issue...It's so bad hon that im ready to spaz when I see my husband gets one of those naked girl text messages I mean really is she going to jump through the phone and take my husband lol really? I know how ridiculous I get but I forget about it being ridiculous in the heat of them moment...I just wanna overcome this thing.....

Damiens_Mommy

@pregoagainYAY i understand completely. i grew up with a mother who lived in a bottom of a bottle and loved to tell me how fat and useless i was, then to escape her i got married at 19 to a guy that pretty much had the same view and was bordering on becoming physically abusive when i left him. there's more i could tell you, but i honestly can't get my brain meat to focus atm. lol there are ways to get through this. you just have to have faith and the strength to look at things logically, and the ability to look at yourself with a critical eye.

pregoagainYAY

@angeliaandme I hope so too! I often ask my husband the same question....WHY? And he always comes back with "because what we have is beautiful and I wouldn't trade it for the world" in my head im saying "are you f_ing nuts!" Mind you the last time he said this was a week ago.....on fathers day I wasn't home ALL day because he made me so mad the night before.... I was so angry with myself the next day and felt even worse when he said something so sweet the very next day! Good Luck to you too hon! It helps knowing were not alone.....:)

pregoagainYAY

@Fae thank you, you are so right.....Need to start looking at things logically instead of the screwed up way im looking at them now lol....OMG apart of me wants to laugh at my silly way of thinking sometimes.....I have faith that this will be fixed.....hopefully sooner than later! @prayin4our3rd Thank you I have thought about counseling I just am weary about the idea of "opening up" I guess you could say I have never been one to talk about my feelings but hell if it will help me be a better wife I will do whatever it takes!

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vette_devil

I can't help but think of that movie "What About Bob"... Baby steps, baby steps!

pregoagainYAY

@vette_devil lmao yeah really!