LIVING WITH MOTHER IN LAW!!
So my husband and I moved into his parents downstairs floor and rent the whole area for a fairly ok price. My sister in law, her husband and two kids lived down here for 7+ years rent free. So us paying is helping them out and the good deal on rent is good for us. So we are both helping each other out.
Well, my mother in law treats my father in law like trash. Belittles him every chance she gets as if it's funny. Yells at him Ll yhe time. Even when he's not here blames stuff on him. He has worked two jobs breaking his back for YEARS! She doesn't work. She sits on her butt, watches tv all day, doesn't do anything. He comes home cleans up after her, takes care of her dog, makes her food, does her laundry, makes her bed, cleans the house, etc. Then after all is said and done and he is exhausted she says take me to the.casino bcuz she doesn't drive--by choice.
This is NOT how things worked in my family. This is not only totally backwards, but repulses me. I'm trying my best to not begin to hate my mother in law, but its gotten even harder lately.
My father in law recently started a truckers job. He had to train for about a month and so he couldn't work his other job. His health insurance kicked them off bcuz he went down to part time. My mother in law was pissed bcuz she was recently diagnosed with diabetes type 2, and has glaucoma and cataracts. So temporary insurance for her is.around $700. She controls ALL of the money. So she takes her anger out on my father in law and gives him as little money for food for while he's on the road as she can. He gets $60 to last him for three meals a day for a week.
Anyways, so here is the big problem. It has been suspected that she has been bipolar for twenty some years now. My husbands brother saw a psychiatrist who said nothing was wrong with him, but said he believed she was bipolar. She slapped the Dr and stormed out. Never sought treatment. Anyway, my husband and her.got in a huge fight about an alarm system the other day (we were robbed in January--just the downstairs, while my mother in law was home--she can't hear worth a.dang). So having a baby in September I didn't feel comfortable with our little girls safety. Anyways, hubby and mother in law got in a huge fight and my mother in law freaked out emotionally! Crying, screaming, yelling, tore out of the house and drove off. I explained her side of things to my husband and he apologized to her a little later, but she is still livid. Doesn't even want to see him. Everyone in the family says that he is the "favorite" child so "he could do no wrong" but... She's crazy. I'm worried about her just throwing us out. What do I do?!? Stay out of it?? Tell my hubby I think he should suck up like crazy?? It's so stressful here all the time anyway, and now its just tripled... :-(
Well, my mother in law treats my father in law like trash. Belittles him every chance she gets as if it's funny. Yells at him Ll yhe time. Even when he's not here blames stuff on him. He has worked two jobs breaking his back for YEARS! She doesn't work. She sits on her butt, watches tv all day, doesn't do anything. He comes home cleans up after her, takes care of her dog, makes her food, does her laundry, makes her bed, cleans the house, etc. Then after all is said and done and he is exhausted she says take me to the.casino bcuz she doesn't drive--by choice.
This is NOT how things worked in my family. This is not only totally backwards, but repulses me. I'm trying my best to not begin to hate my mother in law, but its gotten even harder lately.
My father in law recently started a truckers job. He had to train for about a month and so he couldn't work his other job. His health insurance kicked them off bcuz he went down to part time. My mother in law was pissed bcuz she was recently diagnosed with diabetes type 2, and has glaucoma and cataracts. So temporary insurance for her is.around $700. She controls ALL of the money. So she takes her anger out on my father in law and gives him as little money for food for while he's on the road as she can. He gets $60 to last him for three meals a day for a week.
Anyways, so here is the big problem. It has been suspected that she has been bipolar for twenty some years now. My husbands brother saw a psychiatrist who said nothing was wrong with him, but said he believed she was bipolar. She slapped the Dr and stormed out. Never sought treatment. Anyway, my husband and her.got in a huge fight about an alarm system the other day (we were robbed in January--just the downstairs, while my mother in law was home--she can't hear worth a.dang). So having a baby in September I didn't feel comfortable with our little girls safety. Anyways, hubby and mother in law got in a huge fight and my mother in law freaked out emotionally! Crying, screaming, yelling, tore out of the house and drove off. I explained her side of things to my husband and he apologized to her a little later, but she is still livid. Doesn't even want to see him. Everyone in the family says that he is the "favorite" child so "he could do no wrong" but... She's crazy. I'm worried about her just throwing us out. What do I do?!? Stay out of it?? Tell my hubby I think he should suck up like crazy?? It's so stressful here all the time anyway, and now its just tripled... :-(
Comments
@OregonMama my sister in law also said that she doesn't give 30 days. She just decides one day you have to get out of her house. We didn't formally sign a lease or anything either, being that its family. I guess when my sister in law was 6 months pregnant her mom picked a fight with her and sent her into premature contractions and she had to have a shot to slow the labor or something? So I'm guessing my being pregnant doesn't count for anything. :-(
See the thing is, my husband and I were planning on being here for 3-5 years bcuz we have 4 small dogs and no one will rent to u with that many dogs... Plus we are trying to build more/better credit so we can buy our own house... I know it's probably premature of me to think this, but it puts a damper on our plans...
Plus, I work a Mon-Fri 7a-6p job and my husband works a Wed-Sun 4p-12a/2a night job... So there is a 1-3hr time when we were hoping my mother in law could watch the baby so we wouldn't have to pay for childcare... But her behavior lately makes me wonder whether the.baby would be safe or not??
i dont know how long you plan on staying there, but if you have other kids or when your baby gets older i would either have plans to move out by the time shes a year old or simply tell mil she needs to change the way she acts or youre out too. the least thing you want is the kid/s to pick up on that!!!
@suvivormommie3 That is a very good point. We had planned on being here 3-5 years... But I don't think that'll work if this is how things will be... You are so right. I don't want our baby girl to pick up on that. My nieces are 8 & 4 and the 8 year old I can tell notices it a lot. Which aren't grand kids supposed to think the world of their grandparents?? My husband and I discussed if we had to get rid of two of our four dogs so we could move out and rent somewhere... I cried bcuz the idea kills me--I'm even crying now just thinking about it--but we want a healthy environment for our baby.
@2ndButFirst I know!! It's like she is unpredictable. I'd like to think she wouldn't take anything out on an innocent little baby... But I feel like I wouldn't put it past her... Omg, does that make me a horrible daughter in law for thinking that?? Aaahhh.... Why are families so STRESSFUL!?!?
living with mother in law is very hard. when me and my husband first got married. my husbands business was on its last leg. there was no money and than i moved here from ny and we had nothing and nowhere to stay. so we stayed in his moms house until we could find a place. my husbands mom is just as crazy. we were planning in staying maybe two months maximum. btw my husband was paying for her mortgage , her car , her everything because she didnt work. I was just trying my best to be out of her way. so i will leave for work with my husband in the morning even thou i didnt have job, i would go sit in the car lol
I would use the bathroom and make sure none of my hair or mess was lefft behind. i was doing my own laundry and cooking our own food which we tried not to cuz she will freak out. we were just having fast food. she will come to me whenever i was around and tell me all thesde crazy stories about my husband like '' you know he has anger issues , make sure he never hurts you '' and she even said to me i can just leave him . Knowing my husband he is the sweetest little bear. She was trying to put all these doubts in my head because we were newly married. Than she started talking bad about me , create fights with my husband but to my face she will be like ohhh my goodness i love you so much. we finally found a place and it was like 4 weeks after we were there. we were keeping some of my items in the garage in boxes piled up (like 4 boxes ) i was living off a suitcase in his room. she also made a huge deal how her garage was overtaken. it was sooooooo diffucult for us. God helped us and we found a place we can afford. it brings me tears to my eyes to remember all this. i was praying so much that we will be able to get out of there. when i read your post i went thru it again. I am sorry that you have to go thru this now but Have faith in God and everything will be okay. I can clearly tell you we had no money , no job, noone to help and we were saved by just by prayers. also you have a new soul coming and i believe all new souls are angels and protected by God. Be very stong
@awhaley28540 three hours? That's it? That's terrible. It's good to.hear that after the move she is better now... My sister in law doesn't let ky mother in law around her grand daughters very much anymore. I think 1-bcuz she knows my mother in law is crazy 2-I end up being the one watching the girls and entertaining them the whole time bcuz she sits upstairs on her butt watching stupid lifetime movies or something that isn't kid oriented and 3-her mom always makes her feel bad for asking. I figured when they moved out their relationship would get better, but te only soured more... :-( and my mother in law talks crap about my sister in law and her husband in front of their kids!! One is 8 years old! She understands what her grandmother says! It's... Despicable!!
Also, my husband and I had an alarm system installed in the home bcuz we worry about the safety of the baby--we were robbed in January--and finally we had enough money to spend on it. She complained the whole time about money (even tho we were paying for it) and how we didn't need this or that (even tho that's what WE wanted bcuz we cant trust that she would hear someone breaking in downstairs--when we got robbed, they walked upstairs and out the front door while she was sitting just down the hallway on the computer, didn't hear a rammed thing!). Then, after all was installed she looks at us and says she doesn't think she can use it its too complicated for her and walks off. What is so complicated?? Enter key code and choose away (if no one will be home) stay (if u will be home but turn on all outside warnings) or off (if u will be going in amd out of the house constantly, like if u have a party or the family is doing yardwork and needs to use the restroom). WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT THAT?? JUST TRRRRRRYYYYY TO LEARN IT!!