feel like im falling apart...

lisamarie

I went to my appointment with the perinatal high risk doctor, I was referred there by the er. The er gave me a ultrasound and found a spot on my sons head. My high risk doctor told me that he wanted to do his own studies but he found fluid on my sons brain 25 mm long. The normal is 8 or less. This fluid can cause brain damage, mental retardation, or even death. He told me not to worry and he wanted to do an hour and a half ultrasound on me. Also every week I have to go in for an hour and have a non stress test. I'm freaking out. I feel like I did something wrong. I completely hate myself at this point in time. I'm 32 weeks and don't understand why no one found this before. I'm trying to make my.boyfriend hate me and I'm pushing him away. What did I do wrong? I feel like I failed my son! I don't know if I can handle anymore bad news. I'm hoping someone can give me some wisdom or even prayers.

FiRstTiMeOcT_mOm

Aww its gonna b ok love... its not ur fault! Keeping u & ur little one in my prayers! Stay positive & stay strong

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Jaime77

Keep your faith mamas! getting a poor prenatal diagnosis makes your heart wanna burst with all those feelings of why me, it's my fault ect..my poor baby! I balled hearing our anencephaly diagnosis @31weeks . Didn't understand it, had 2 previous healthy babies. I had 9 weeks to prepare for his arrival and goodbye. I def. Agree with@mommy_of_2
Don't push the hubbies away, they feel the same as you do! May both your babies be born with no problem a doctor can't fix xoxo

laura536

Good luck, hun! There's no way it could be your fault. Hopefully, you get better news at your longer ultrasound!

lisamarie

Thank you for your wisdom and support. I don't even know how to function anymore. I don't know how to even put a smile on my face. My poor boyfriend is at work and said he has already cried twice. Luckily his daughter is with her mom until Tuesday and hopefully we can pull ourselves together by then. I need all the prayers I can get. So thank you for them!

lilbabythree

Hang in there! Keep u in my prayers! Hope everything turns out well.

Jaime77

I often found someone was the stronger one. He had his days, I would try my best to lift him up, vice versus.I was pissed with god, honestly I'm sure I said FU.. But he did give me a miracle, not the one I prayed and wanted, but precious time with my son. He lived 53hrs it was truly a blessing. Prayers always!!!

lisamarie

Thank you!