sex and the baby daddy

jalem

Ever since I got pregnant my bf has stopped wanting to have sex. I've asked him about it and he just says he doesn't feel like it. Although i have caught him watching porn and, for lack of a better word, jacking off. It makes me feel unwanted and unloved, especially since my sex drive is crazy right now. We didn't even do it yesterday (valentine's day) and when we went to bed i asked him if there was a reason he didn't want to and he got mad and said i just dont feel like it and moved to the other side of the bed. i dont know what to do. i love him and have tried to get him in the mood but it doesnt work. any suggestions... comments... anything

julyy2

O wow it sounds like he have a personal issue. Sit him down n actually make him tlk about why he don't wanna have sex dnt think the worse but ask if he cheating srryy tew tell yyuh dat..

mscheyla

Maybe he thinks hell hurt it?

Kriss82001

I know a couple of guys who won't have sex with their partner if they are pregnant. They all say it creeps them out or they are worried something will happen. But they won't explain it to their loved ones because they feel stupid talking about it. Try not to be excusing, & try not to think the worst, I know that's hard to do, maybe he has the same prob?

ashes

I'm going through something similar. He might just be stressed. My bf was in a total pissy mood arms crossed not talking everything. We get home from dinner and instead of talking to me he turns on the adult entertainment expo, then wants a bj. I felt horrible...like he was looking at these porn stars and wanted me to do it while he looked at these chicks. Then he wants me to go home early....and I know he watches porn, I just felt horrible.
like why am I here. I feel like its already the end of my sex life. I'm only 23 its really depressing me.

Ur not alone here... the only thing I can think of is to talk to him in a setting away from the bedroom and make him speak his mind & say my mind too.but I haven't done it yet so idk if it will work for u

Kriss82001

Sorry, meant to say accusing not excusing, losing my mind most days it seems

jojo30

My bf did exactly the same thing so I used a bit of reverse psychology, I wouldn't let him see me naked or rub my growing bump. I said it was because I felt insecure and I knew he didn't fancy me anymore. Devious I know but it worked! He loves it now and It's me that's gone off it. I tell him he should've made the most of it while I was horny. His loss lol x I'm sure he will come round but men do find it strange to sleep with us when we are growing their baby. Silly really as that's how it got there.

jalem

@julyy2 i have talked to him and asked him these things and he just says hes not like most guys and doesn't want to have sex all the time. and i know he's not cheating because i keep track of all his work hours and stuff like that plus we just moved to hawaii and he doesnt know any one. he goes straight to work calls me when he gets there on lunch and before he comes home. he just doesnt want to have sex...
@mscheyla i thought that too and when i talked to him way back when i first found out i was pregnant he said he thought the baby could feel it... i told him other wise and when we went to the dr she verified it for us.
@kriss82001 i'm thinking that could be it. its just the fact that he looks at porn instead of just having sex with me hurts...
@ashes well at least your bf wanted you to be a part of it... mine waits until im sleeping and does it... it's not like he's hiding it, just he sees it as a thing for only him... when i tried telling him lets watch together he couldnt... (as in couldnt get hard)... then he just stopped and it never happened again... and it's not like im not interesting in bed... we used to try new things all the time but not any more...

jalem

@jojo30 i honestly think that if i tried to do that he'd be fine... but if talking doesnt work again i may try that

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BabyMcBride8_27

My fiancee' was avoiding my sexual passes at first, and under any circumstances did not want to have sex. I broke down and asked him if there was somthing wrong with me, because that's what it felt like. He said no, the reason was because he's so excited about having the baby that he didn't want to do anything that wasn't ok with the doctor. So, we asked the doc, and he said it was okay. No problems since then. Maybe he's just worried about the well being of the baby. At your next dr's appointment discuss it with the dr in his presense and see if anything changes. Wish you the best!

jalem

@newmommy we have done that at my first dr. apt... dr even said its good for the baby strengthing muscles and such and it helped a little then a week later it was the same thing... and when i ask him if theres something wrong with me he gets upset and says no i just dont feel like it...

NylasMommy

Man, im going thru the samething. My hubby rather watch porn n reLease that way then having sex with me right now. I didnt get nun for v day either but the other nite wen I wanted sum n he said he was tired I cried lol. How embarrassing is that ladies. Men jus doesnt understand...ugh.

BabyMcBride8_27

That's kind of odd. Of course, there's infinte possiblites on what's going through his head. I've known of men who refuse to have sex with their pregnant wife or girlfriend because they think above anything that the baby can feel it (even when it's what is best for the baby). I wish I had better advice for you! ): I hope the situation gets better!

tashaizaqt

Do what he does to you....let him catch you watching porn and pleasuring yourself....chances are hell be excited and want to join in and help out....my bf said he was scared of hurting the baby but I reassured him he wouldn't....its not fair that we have to go through all theese changes and they don't have to go through any....I'm sure he loves you and still thinks your beautiful...if he won't talk try writing him a letter expressing your feelings.

Kriss82001

I can understand it hurts, I would be hurt too. I think talking to him is the best way, at least that way he knows that its just not you being sexually frustrated but that it hurts you personally.

Maranda3

I never used to have a problem with my hubby watching porn until it got to the point that he didn't have sex with me anymore. I moved in with a friend and we went to marriage counseling to resolve the issue because I gelt so alone and neglected. Now he doesn't look at porn anymore at all. Ever. Of his own free will, he said it's addictive and makes it difficult for him to be able to have sex with me. I'm sorry you're going through this and hope he gets past whatever issue he's having.

FirstTimeDaddy

yup as a guy the most I can say is he probably doesn't wasnt to hurt u or the baby. take him to a dr visit w u. ask the dr. once he had reassurance. he might b ok. me n my gf dont have that problem. except that maybe she isnt always in the mood. but when she is its on n crackin. n even tho I know its ok to have sex I find myself askin her r u ok am I hurtin u. the part about him findin it creepy or u not attractive. I hope thats not it. I personally find my gf super hot right now. big turn on that she is prego