seriously mom? serioudly?

Soo....two months ago, my best friend asked me if she thought my mom would get angry if she asked to help throw the baby shower, or if it would be ok if my friend just did it all together. (given my mom's history, its entirely logical my mom would get angry and offended and cause quite a lot of drama.) Anyway, I called my mom to ask, and she said to me, no joke...I don't think you should have a baby shower. You were kinda rude to people after your wedding shower...you took forever to send out thank yous, and some people never got wedding thank yous. (I had a miscarriage four months after my wedding. I'm sorry if in the process of that, my brain shut down and some people got forgotten in that chaos...)

Anyway, my friend decided to give my mom a few months to "re-think." She called my Mom yesterday to ask about it. Her excuse this time? "Well, her grandpa was very superstitious about baby showers, so we aren't sure we want to have one." WTF? Just....gggaaaaaaaa. don't even get me started about trying to name my son. Is everyone this stupid?

It would appear so. I then had to call my mil to talk to her about a baby shower for me. Awkward, but had to be done, invites need to be sent out next month for a shower in september, right? We are due mid November, but this baby has a fairly good possibility of being born a few weeks early. (He's already 1.2 pounds and 13 inches....at 22 weeks.) Anyway...mil says to me...too, if we had one, it would be early November anyway, right? Its a bit early to be thinking about this stuff now, isn't it? Besides, Tim doesn't have much family here, won't your aunt just have a big shower for you that we can invite people to? Uhh...let me get this straight. You were expecting my family to pay for a party, and invite your family and friends? Again, I say, WTF?

Sorry so long...talk me down from the ledge ladies if I'm being stupid...my hormones are crazy, but if I'm not being crazy, please let me know.,

Comments

  • This stuff happens to me alllll the time! It's so frustrating. I think your not crazy. people like to pick and choose when they want to support you. So most of the time ur let down and left to do it alone. I'm sorry you have to go thru this
  • Definitely crazy. Why don't your best friend just throw it by herself?
  • @MommyLovesSparkle My friend is totally willing to throw it for me...she just doesn't want to step on grandparent's toes in the process. If she doesn't ask...there will be issues.
  • Oh okay well I see what you mean.
  • @littlepeanut1 I'm sorry. That's cold. I don't know what else to say.
  • Have your friend throw one. With a $5 cover for family members.
  • @ll10 I got myself in trouble work because I laughed after I read that...and Im not supposed to be on my phone. Oops. But thanks for the laugh!
  • @tnt2007 lol sorry. I just have this image in my mind of her and her friend sitting by a pool drinking virgin pinacoladas while some bouncer hassels the mils that they "aren't on the list" some things are worth more than presents.
  • man i swear our moms must be long lost sisters!!! my mom has been this way since she found out i was pregnant and what a ninkumpoop since then. telling me im not worth the chaos of a shower and what not. wow....really? this is our third but my mom has been this way with all of my pregnancies and i decided that i wanted to set all things aside and force myself to enjoy this baby! I didn't have a chance with the other two. so when she found out my friend was throwing me a shower she threw a fit and said no one will show up, it's not important enough, etc. i am so sorry someone else has to endure the stupidity of some people.
    as far as your in laws, the way it's done around where i am is that the shower is thrown and you invite everyone you want- as in the in laws side, good family friends, etc. kind of a miniature wedding party.
  • @ll10....I "may" have peed a little after reading your last post due to uncontrollable laughter. My boss even giggled with me...so thank you for being funny enough to keep me out of trouble! Ooooh, if I could only....
  • I just threw my own and enlisted my friend for help "brainstorming" and help to "set up" so I could name her as the host...
  • @Survivormommie3...it's incredible how hot and cold my mom is...one minute she Can't stop talking about the baby...and calls him "our" baby (a WHOLE other issue) and the next...she does stupid **** like this. I just don't understand her.
  • I think that shes being very rude and selfish...my mom is the same way if not worse, I had my shower last sunday and guess what? She didn't show up and just went for a picnic with her bf instead and when I asked her yesterday if she thought going on a picnic is better then coming to my shower she said YES!!! in the few months leading to my shower when she found out my sis is throwing me one she was mad because its my second pregnancy and thinks I dont need one, even tho this time it's twins and one of them is a girl, my first was a boy..anyway she kept telling me to cancel it..but obviously I didn't and it drove her crazy..oh and she thought its going to be boring so didnt wana waste her time smh.

    I think your friend should still throw you the shower no matter what, do what makes you happy, this is your time to celebrate your baby and if shes not going to support you then its her choice..good luck!!
  • @carriebear, I am blessed enough to have had my friend for over 20 years (we met when we were 5!!!) and she approached me about wanting to do this for me, so I am VERY lucky to have someone like her to help me out with this. I know it will be fantastic, and even if our families are stupid, my husband and I have friends that love us and want to see us succeed as we start our family. My parents and his parents have too many damn issues and opinions that are totally opposite of each other that has become quite discouraging.
  • @tnt2007 that's my mom. i completely sympathize with you! that's my mom. she stopped by yesterday (my dad missed the kids...so cute, my kids are such "papa's little kids") and she was wanting to touch my stomach. and then she wont return calls in reference to my sons health (he has some health issues and shes a nurse so before i call the doc i usually ask her opinion). then my friend was over and she stopped by to drop something off to me and she was all "talking about the shower that shouldnt be happening?" UGH! im so tempted to just cut her off from me and my kids. and she does this bs with my kids too!! the kids (5 and 6) were SO excited for maternity pics. i think all of us were. and then when my son mentioned it one evening to my mom she tells him "they are just pics of your moms belly- she didn't have any done with you!".... she was TOTALLY instigating an argument with my 5 year old!! I was livid! who acts like that. i later said "look, you may not be excited for this baby but you do NOT slight my kids' feelings and excitement."
    sadly her and my dad are the ONLY people who can watch the kids when i go into labor. i have a friend but she works 2 jobs and i can't rely on her to watch them since she works when they will be out of school (my due date is their first day of school). so you know what my mom did????????? she scheduled a vacation trip to houston the week of my due date. im so freakin pissed. we live in freakin ohio! it's a 24 hr drive from here to there and she is telling me if i want a sitter for the kids then i better have the baby early. wtf?!??!?!!?
  • @Josie749 I think it's amazing how our my parents generation criticizes the way we do weddings and raise our children...you've already had your chance, we are now tasked with raising this new generation, in a time where the mistakes of your generation have left the price of everything skyrocketing out of proportion to what we make. Whatever help we can get we will take!! I'm not asking for handouts, I'm asking for help starting out a terrifying, exciting new phase of life! Sheesh!!!
  • @survivormommie3....give me her number...I'll call and yell at her if you call mine. ;-) Just kidding....kind of.
  • Everyone is going HORMONAL! HAHAHA! I NEVER WENT THROUGH DRAMA LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! I WAS NOT PICKY, DIDNT CARE ABOUT THEME, DIDNT CARE. ALL I WAS HAPPY ABOUT WAS THAT SHE THREW ME BOTH BABY GIRL AND FOR MY SON WHO ARE BOTH IN SCHOOL NOW. THE GIFTS ARE FOR KIDS NOT MOM! SERIOUSLY WOMEN WHO ARE JUST PLAIN PICKY, TEY SHOULDNT HAVE A BABY SHOWER PERIOD. IN YOUR CASE, YOUR MOM DOESNT SEEM COOPERATIVE, YOUR MIL SHE SEEMED POSITIVE. SO LET YOUR BFF AND MIL GET TOGETHER TO PLAN IT OUT. Just be glad that someone is throwing you a shower. Good luck
  • @moroccanmexicanbaby I'm not being picky...I don't care about a theme, I would actually LOVE to just rent a pavillion at a park and have it outside...Its not only about the child, though. It's a time to celebrate the new phase of life I am entering. I'd love to get to celebrate it with my family and friends, without this nonsense in the mix.

    I just feel like my family, on both sides, aren't being very supportive of my husband and I, and want us to do things the way they did them. Let me tell you...husbands family are UBER conservative, don't celebrate Halloween, Santa is evil, kind of people. My mom? She's a liberal, superstitious, tai chi teacher who still wants us to put a plate of cookies out for Santa, even though my brother and I are 27 and 28, respectively. My husband and i are Christians, but we are somewhere in between our two families with what we believe, and we get lectured from both sides, all the time. This baby shower thing is just another thing in a long line of frustrating nonsense that makes me mad to have to deal with. And no, It's not ALL hormones.
  • Well... you don't need them. Shoot, throw a baby shower and make it fun! Don't let others ruin your joy.
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
Sign In or Register to comment.