5 weeks ago my son was born sleeping.

TimeBandit

Its been 5 weeks since my son came into this world sleeping. We've since put up a memorial shelf with all his toys, things family & friends have given us in his honor and my little ones urn and Teddy bear from the hospital the day he wad born. All medical records show no reason why my water broke at almost 21 weeks. His autopsy came back normal, my tests all normal, chromosome tests all fine. My poor son now falls into the 50% of cases of stillborns that have no reason. I miss him everyday, I'm writting a book to help other mothers regain their strength to go on after such a hardship. I've read almost 20 books while on mybleave from work and they have help some but they are all the same in some aspects. The books fallow the same lines as "here's my story, this is what happened to me, now feel better & here's why". That's not really what a mother wants to read about after her own loss, she wants words of hope, examples of higher achievement in this world inb keeping their child life alive inside and how not to have to hide that she is truly still a mother. I'm not mad or upset at anything that life has thrown my way but I feel that loading my son has given me a goal to reach out to mothers even those who haven't experience d a loss to show them we are women. We stand strong, we bond together and we need each other. Once I go back to work next week I'm going to ask my employeer to help start a team for March of Dimes in the city I live in, since the closest one is 200 miles away. I know other women who would love to honor their children by helping familys with medical problems and research for preventing childbirth problems. Well I've said my peace for now, thank you ladies for all your words of hope god bless all of you and unroll next time "Angel Dust to all the mommies on here" xoxoxoxo

SamiUK

Sorry for your loss, sounds a really good idea what your doing sending lots of love and prayers your way xxx

[Deleted User]

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Jaime77

I'm sorry for your loss too! We are in a special club that I wish no mother was in.
What helped me heal was journaling. I think everyone copes in thier own way, but having support is key!
Remembering our ^angels^

ash1la

Sorry for your loss! I too have experience a loss, and although it is not easy I too agree that God has a plan for all of our lives. It seems that this is your calling good luck with helping others as well as healing yourself in the process.

betty

@timebandit @jaime77 @USMS hugs to of you ladies for your loss!! Dont loose hope! god has a plan for you all!!

Mybabe

Sorry for your loss!!!

[Deleted User]

I am so sorry. Did they test you for clotting factors? My water broke also and it wasn't until the second baby that they tested for clotting issues.

TimeBandit

I do have a clotting disorder, but before becoming pregnant all my labs were within normal range. While pregnant the same tests were run and they too came back all normal. I had 2 miscarriages back in 05-06 with my ex-husband while on Lovenox and lost them before I even knew I was pregnant. This time around though everything was normal and did not have to placed on a anti-coagulant. The cause of this loss points more towards in incompetent cervix more then anything else. I see a High risk OBGYN tomorrow in a neighboring town which is bigger and has more medical help with pregnancies like mine. I miss my son everyday, and know that I will have my rainbow baby soon. I have been trying again with my fiance and I do have had a few feelings that I am already expecting but it would be way to soon to do a hpt. I'll have the doctor run some blood work tomorrow and fingers crossed all comes out in the positive. Thank you ladies for your thoughts and prayers.

Jaime77

Good luck tomorrow!!! I hope the days have been better for you.

Neek

Good luck w all u future endavors....n u r a very strong women and thank you for taking ur own crisis...n changing it intoa miracle by reaching out tu help others get through hard times...i commend u :X

mrsrocketfield1221

So many love and prayers go out to u ladies. I had an mc early on, but have a sister in law that gave birth to two baby girl angels 2 yrs apart. One thing our family does to remember them is that they're represented as a butterfly and daisy... all of our children know this too and so we have items in remembrance. We also think of them as we see them in nature, talk about them openly, and... represent them in these objects in tattoos. So I think it's great that you have that spot in your home for your little angel. And I think your book with bee therapy for u and others... I'd like to do the same but having to do with blended families. Wishing u luck in the future...

LovelyBoots

Sorry for your loss good luck with the book.

caitiecakes

I'm so sorry for your loss hun.

Máthair

I'm sorry that your son was born sleeping.
♥
If you go to the March of dimes website they can provide whomever with the information to start a walk in your area or even how to start donations in your son's name. If you don't mind me asking what is his name and if you like I will add his name to the list of babies I walk for.

NylasMommy

sorry for ur loss ur so strong bc I would still be asking whyyy!

debs

I'm sorry for your loss I know what your going through I lost my son par year at 32 weeks just woke up and he wasn't moving anymore. They don't know what happened I had a healthy girl a year before my son never had mc I still to this day wonder why and all i can think is god had his reason maybe something was wrong with my son and god didn't want him to suffer. I had a lil boy a month ago and he is healthy the whole pregnancy was scary but worth trying again. We named our son after his big brother. We have our sons urn above our bed with his baby toy and box with his hand prints and foot prints. We always catch our new little one looking at it. We know our son is looking over his family. Some of my husbands family told us we need to get over it but its something you don't get over. For our sons anniversary we let our daughters send him a balloons to heaven. We plan on doing this every year and adding a balloons for each year. If you need someone to talk through I'm here for you

[Deleted User]

@debs we do balloons every year too. Well twice a year.

lae3

thats great that you want to share your experience and turn a negative into a positive.. and also honor the life that you carried.. sorry for your loss.. >:D<

TimeBandit

My sons name is Caleb Matthew for all you ladies who were wondering. I would love for you to add him in your list of babies remembered and walk in his name. So an update on my doctors appointment, yes I lost him do to an incompetent cervix and this new doctor which was just suppose to be a consultation appointment jump right on the band wagon with me. He already wrote down on my file that when I'm pregnant again at 14 weeks I'm getting a cercluge put in. He want me to see parenatolagist from UC Davis in the next month or so to his words, " finish our game plan and not leave any rock unturned. " I love this doctor already his 61 yrs old has been delivering babys for 35 years and has an awesome bedside manor. I wish he could of been Calebs OB, but I can't think that way. If I stay in my past in will become my future and I can't stay there anymore. I've got plans for my future l, that Caleb will watch over and guide me threw. I'm excited lm happy, nervous all at once. He does what us to wait a few months to try to finish greaving over Caleb, but I told him theirs already a chance I'm expecting again. Ill do my blood work sometime this week and well know. If I'm not that we will take a few more weeks to finish out the game plan. Just so our next go around will not be has nerve racking thinking bout thing I shouldn't. So as of now I've been given the promise, the guidance and hope that I will get my rainbow baby lol and soon even with having to drive an hour away from home to my doctors office and the hospital were I will do my water birth which is right next door. Fingers crossed ladies and lots of angel dust please. Xoxoxo