mom vs. boyfriend.

new_mommie21

So my boyfriend and I are talking and he feels like my mom should help more, buy the crib, send money, basically take care of me him and the baby. And because she doesn't and I dont feel like she should have to he says she doesn't care about me and basically she doesn't deserve to be in my life. It pisses me off so bad and Idk what to do..... ugh!

Momma2joe

Well what has his mom done??

StarKrayzie

@new_mommie21 How old are the 2 of you if you don't mind me asking? Why isn't he doing those things and supporting the 3 of you? Why is it your mom's responsibility to take care of the things he should be taking care of? I'm pissed off just reading that, I can only imagine how upset you are. He sounds extremely immature.

new_mommie21

@starkrayzie Besides let me live with them rent free. Not a whole lot.

Momma2joe

How far are you?? I have to agree with starkrayzie its on him to take care of you and the baby. Your mom has done her job raising you! Why should she be expected to support his child?!?!?! You can turn that right back on him!! Its his turn now as your man to take care of you and the baby.

new_mommie21

Im 22 and he is 25. And he just doesn't like her. He is a felon so she has her concerns about our really fast paced relationship. We have only been together 6 months and he feels like she should contribute.

mscheyla

Grocery and everything too? Maybe that's why he sees it like that, but it always surprises me how guys/men don't get that "provider" instinct when there is a baby on the way. It's one thing to add that to the registry for your baby shower, its another to demand it. Is his mom getting the play pen or stroller?

new_mommie21

@mscheyla no I contribute to groceries. And so does he. And I never ask for anything. And so far my mom has bought clothes and bottles and his mom bout a single onesie

mscheyla

Yeah. I don't see why it should be your moms responsibility. My fiancee and I bought our crib to avoid controversy plus I didn't want anyone to feel it was a burden to them. I mean you can always wait until yard sale time there are always baby crib in awesome condition in the yard sales.

coolbabybeans

Does he work if you don't mind me asking

new_mommie21

@mscheyla The thing is we can afford to buy our own crib. He just thinks she should buy it.

new_mommie21

@coolbabybeans yeah he does.

coolbabybeans

Personally I feel like its your (you and your bfs) responsibility to provide for your bundle, your mom didn't knock you up. not trying to be rude, just saying.

new_mommie21

@coolbabybeans That's how I feel. And he gets mad for me saying it because he feels like his parents do everything and mine do nothing. My family lives a whole state away so they do what they can. I mean if they were here and we needed somewhere to stay then they would provide that just like his parents do. I feel like he is trying to turn me against them. My mom is my best friend and quite frankly if I ever had to choose between him and her she would win every time.

coolbabybeans

I'm sorry your dealing with this stress I hope he sees things more clearly. I know its hard but try not to let him get under your skin. Your parents raised you to be independent, good for them.

new_mommie21

@coolbabybeans thank you (:

StarKrayzie

I would have a talk with him & explain that it's not her responsibility to provide for the 3 of you. At 25 you would think that would be common sense but sadly with some people that's not the case. I was in the same boat w/ my daughter's dad. He moved into my parents' house when I was pregnant then quit his job & sat on his ass for a year & a half. Sorry but if he can't understand what his duties are then I would be packin up & sayin goodbye.

new_mommie21

@starkrayzie some one told me he is gonna realize his responsibilities till after the baby gets here. I CANT WAIT THAT LONG I need him to grow up now.

StarKrayzie

@new_mommie21 Sadly you can't make him do anything he isn't willing to do. I wish I would have had the strength to tell my bd to leave but I kept thinking he would change. I wasted 2 years w/ him, waiting. I pray that if you stick with him that he will come around & realize a hell of a lot sooner then later that he needs to step up to the plate. If you ever wanna talk or vent I'm here for you.

new_mommie21

Thanks @starkrayzie

StarKrayzie

Like I said I've been there & it sucks so I know your pain. Good luck!

jcmommy

Because that's HIS baby not your mom. Tell him to man up and quit whining. That's very selfish of him. If your mother wanted to help then she will as a gift to you guys. She shouldn't be obligated to. She was not there when you guys were lying in that bed. Not to be mean, but maybe you should put your foot down and tell him what's up. I wouldn't have my husband to ever talk badly about my mom.

lily_glz

Eeek... my dad bought lots of stuff for my first (he was their only grandbaby) they provided mostly everything til after I graduated I was 17 sons dad was 16 so we didn't have jobs and stuff.. after my son turned 3 months I supported my son all by myself didn't expect anything from anyone not even the dad.. this time I have a wonderful hubby who wants to and is going to provide everything for my first son, this new baby, and me! That's what men do.. he has to grow up.