8 days away, major major anxiety

mama_underpants

Before you say anything, I am excited to see my little girl. I'm just freaking out. I'm married, have 2 beautiful little kids, and now this little girl will be here in 8 days. The only problem?
My hubby and I went thru a seperation, and I got preg by another guy.
He knows the baby doesn't have his dna. And SOME of our family. Not all tho. No friends know, and nobody from church.
My baby will be mixed,(black n white) and my hubby n I are both white.
I'm freaking out.
I'm wondering what will be said. And who will have the balls to say anything to my face.
I know that we love eachother and that's all that matters, but still, I don't live in a fantasy world where everyone will be ok with this....ahhhh! Oh and btw, the "other guy" is 100% not involved and won't be. My choice. Any advice? Support? Anything? Lol. I'm dying with this.

three_cats_n_a_baby

I guess you forjust have to be strong- the main thing is the beautiful baby and yeah people will talk but people are by large shallow and horrible and always find somethin to talk about. Just be proud of you for doin a good job and your husband for being the bigger man. Good luck not will be fine!

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mama_underpants

@three_cats_n_a_baby @ashleyfew thanks. And yea I'm a wreck. And my husband is amazing, I just know its gonna be hard. The thing is, I know ppl are gonna think maybe I tricked him into thinking she was his, and he knew from the second I told him I was preg, that it wasn't his. Ahhhh...I just want to get this over withlol

nicoleok87

That's a situation.....church ppl tend to be very unforgiving from my experience.but u don't have to answer to anyone!! And my advice would be tell ur friends and family ahead of time that way its not a surprise. They won't need to be focused on the details Nd can instead focus on ur precious new baby!!:)

mama_underpants

@nicoleok87
I can hear the convo in my head, "oh hey, btw, I'm having another mans baby, but me and Aaron are ok with it" Lol. Idk. I thought about it tho.

mommy2now3

Sweetie we are in the same boat other than the other man in my situation is half mexican (he isn't that dark) but my husband is white. Our close family knows but there are people that don't know.
I am so worried and have not a clue what she will look like and I think about it all the time. I worry about what people will say too and to top it off we are moving and I am worried people will think we are doing it to run away from other people finding out.
But my husband is so excited about having this baby that I know all I need is him my 2 boys and a healthy baby and that will be all that matters.
Good luck sweetie I hope it all goes well! I am here if you want to talk

3rdangelontheway

people always will have something to say but the most important thing is how your hubby feels and if he is happy then screw everyone else,you dont have to wake up to them or go to bed with them.... you and your hubby know the truth and thats all that matters...she will be a beautiful baby and she is only days away,you guys enjoy your family and be happy that you made it through a rough time be happy i wish you luck girl ;-)

mama_underpants

Seriously, thank you ladies. It sucks, but from the beg I've had his support, and he's been by my side. And ur right, I dnt have to go to bed with them, its my hub, so his opinion is all that matters!

mama_underpants

@mommy2now3 girl it sucks. Does it keep u up at night? Mine does, i ve been thinking about it for 9 mos lol. When's ur d.d?

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mama_underpants

@BlessedMom_2X that's one of my fears, family member and his friends putting stuff in his head. Ahhhh. Only time will tell.

mommy2now3

@mama_underpants I am up all night thinking about it and to top it off my husbands friends found out and instead of keeping it to themselves they told a whole bunch of people and that really hurt my husband told them he didn't want a whole bunch of people to know and they ruined that.
I don't ever stop thinking about it I still have times where I cry myself to sleep. I have so bad about what happened but it did and I would have never had an abortion (my hubbys friend said I should).
I just know if I keep my head held high and not let other people get to me I will be ok!

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mommy2now3

@mama_underpants my hubby decided to leave when I was about 15 weeks because of his friends and what they all were saying. He left me and left the house for a week then came home begging me not to leave that he loved me and couldn't be with out me and my boys or "his" baby. So your hubby might have a melt down but it sounds like he loves you enough to stick it out.

jalem

Your hubby knows, the important people know, and youe hubby loves your baby already. When people ask or look at you weird say things like i was abducted by aliens... Or hmm idk i love her so much i never thought maybe she was switched at birth... Im actually half black. But i was adopted and bathed in cream for 18 years to keep my fair complexion...

[Deleted User]

Enjoy ur little girl. Don't worry about what others are gonna say. My mother gave my father 5 kids and after 17 years they got seperated and she met another man (witch I'm proud to call him my step dad). My mom is mexican and he's from honduras. All of us 5 kids are light skined and2 of my siblings are white skinded like my dad. By the way he's mexican as well just white skined. And after she had my little brother she got her tubes tide. 5 years after she met my stepdad they decided to have a baby so she got the revers opperation. She got pregnant right away and she gave my stepdad a little girl. And she's very dark skinded kuz of my stepdad. And even like that I love her like I love my other siblings. My mother and stepdad don't care of what others have to say. Their happy. And you shouldn't worry about that. If u and ur husband are happy others shouldn't matter :-)good luck girl

mama_underpants

@BlessedMom_2X yes he is. Well we are married so they assume its his, he never "signed" my other 2 kids's b/c. @Mommy2now3 yea I cld never abort, its just not me. And my hubby said, its not the babies fault. I felt like a failure, bc one of the MAIN reasons we were getting a divorce was I didn't want any more kids atm, and he did. (My kids are 23mos apart, and I nursed for a year each w them too,) and then bam I get preg. @jalem omg! I think I'm so gonna use the alien one lol!
I just play the game in my head, of who is actually gonna say anything to me or him.

mommy2now3

@mama_underpants how old is your youngest? My hubby and I were going threw a really hard time when everything happened and we were fighting alot and we could not concieve after trying for over a year and poof I was pregnant after one night. My hubby has also known from day one I told him I was pregnant and it was not his all in the same sentence. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I told my so called best friend first because I didn't know what to do she said I will take you tomorrow to have an abortion and Chris (hubby) would never have to know I said I could never do that and I couldn't lie to him either she said he was going to leave me. Little did I know she was texting him telling him I was a whore and all kinds of stupid shit.
It has not been an easy road as I am sure you know but it is so nice to have someone to talk to that understands!

mama_underpants

@mommy2now3 my youngest will be 2, 8 days after I have my baby......so she is almost 2. And then my son will be 4 a month after my daughter turns 2. Lol. Yea, telling him was for sure the hardest thing I've ever done. Is the other guy involved at all? Sometimes I joke with my hubby, that techincally its his fault, bc the week I got my divorce papers I spent every night trashed at the club with the other guy.....but obv its my own fault. I'm young and make/made stupid choices.

mommy2now3

My hubby blames himself from time to time saying if he would have been around more maybe it wouldn't have happened

mommy2now3

@mama_underpants the other guy knows but he is not involved at all and has said he will stay out away. We use to date so I know him not just a random guy. But I do worry later on he might try to come around but my hubby is signing the birth certificate

mama_underpants

@mommy2now3 same here. I use to uhhh yea "date" the guy. In my case tho, his other bby mama had him convinced up until recently that I was lying about being preg, (yea right, that's trashy) but whatev. It was one of my hubbys "conditions" I guess u cld say, that he not be involved, and I agreed bc I think its what's best.

mommy2now3

@mama_underpants yeah my hubby said the same thing. This is his daughter and nothing and no one can take that away he says.