a Baby Father with NO Priorities
I'm so damn disappointed and upset i'm writing this with tears in my eyes. I just want the best for my baby and I feel like it will never happen if I have to rely on him. I see yall women on here writing about how your BDs and BFs work extra hours and extra jobs so that you all can have a family that has what it needs. Him? He TALKS about what he wants to do, and it SOUNDS so nice, but it's so rare to see it happen. It's always, "I'm gonna request more hours at work." Monday, he's at work, Tuesday he is home, Wednesday he is at work and Thursday-Friday he is here. What can he expect to make on a check from 3 days of work AND child support deductions? I get hardly any financial help from my mother and he is all I have right now until I can secure a job after my baby's here. Before all this, I worked my ass off at BOA and made damn good money, I never had to ask anyone for SHIT. My credit score was on point, i could shop whenever I wanted, fill my tank, do my hair, nails, pay for us to go to hotels and whatever the hell else I wanted. I bought make up from Neiman Marcus, Make Up Forever, MAC and wherever else, i probably have damn near a thousand $s worth of crap that I paid with no ones assistance. I NEVER asked for his money, I only gave because it felt good. I bought him clothes, shoes, whatever the hell he needed, even if he didn't ask me to. Whenever we went out and I bought an outfit, I got him something too so we both would go out looking good. Im not selffish but I know how to spend my money. I'd never spend my money to the bone on something that wasn't necessary and be broke till my next check. HIM? Na, not him. Apparently weed comes before everything these days. I dont have a damn problem with him smoking the shit, but wtf r u spending the LITTLE bit of money youre making on that when we havent even secured how we're buying OUR baby half of the things he needs! My baby has yet to have his stroller and carseat and im 33 weeks pregnant. Car needs gas, the fridge needs food, credit card bills need to be paid but somehow $40-60 on weed somehow drops into that equation? WTF? I dont give a damn how much stress he THINKS he's under, go take a damn walk. All he is doing is making someone else richer while he has shit to his name and my fuckin baby will have to struggle and turn me into a damn beggar when his parents should be providing. I cant wait to be able to work so I can have my own and not be dependent on his ass. He gives it to me when I need it, but there would be so much more to work with if he quit spending the damn money on dumb shit. It might only be 40 damn dollars but that money could have bought my baby diapers, or socks or his mittens, or some clothes or some damn bottles or be set aside for his circumcision. I'm tired of talking to him because it falls on a deaf ass ear. I cant wait to be independent again and not rely on anyone for a damn thing when it comes to my finances. Im tired of this shit.
Comments
I hope it gets better for the both of us... He will buy for the baby BUT he's spends money on something that I dont think is necessary... I just dont get it. idk
EXACTLY! Idk why he doesnt understand. He has 2 kids already so he KNOWS how it is to take care of a child, I wouldve expected something better but looking back on it all, i wouldnt be in this situation. I wouldnt be pregant. i'd be in school and working like it was before all this. I just cant wait to be able to provide again. I dont like relying on him. I shouldnt have to worry about money and its my own damn fault but im still pissed.
i wish he really was completely shitty so i could just wipe my hands clean of him. Outside of finaces, he's everything i want to be with. We had a few hiccups BUT i just never thought this was any part of his character.. i guess i really dont know who the hell im with anymore. It never bothered me before because i had no one invested in him. But now... im just so lost i dont even feel like im making any sense. Our babies need the best and i just dont know why the fathers SAY they know but never ACT like they know it. I just wanna crawl under a rock
I wouldve thought that would become his mentality but clearly not. Now i just feel backed in a corner with little to no options..
I feel the same way.. and time just keeps rolling on. can't rewind as much as I say it and dream about it. I love my baby so much but I just wish it didn't happen now... I can't be what he needs and its killing me. I can't even buy him a onsie. wat kind of mother am I.
I would suggest u have a sit down with him and arrange a schedule on what bills will be paid and when, and then figure out how much extra money there is, and split that in half, then in half again, the first half will go to your babys needs----buy what he needs and save the rest for when he arrives, the rest is spending money for each of ya
girl I would do anything so we can be on the same wave lengths. I don't wanna leave him... I just want to see and know that all his babies are top priority. talking about it isnt the only important thing. I'm so afraid that we will just end up like every other young couple and be each others baby daddy and baby mama. I'm so filled with emotions and have so much to say but I just don't have the words. I swear I've never felt so sunken till today. I know what I got to do but I am just so afraid of my baby not having anything he needs... I feel worthless for not being able to provide for him right now
girl Idk. its like when a baby comes in the picture these dudes lose their senses apparently. I'm grateful to have him so invested emotionally in this pregnancy. he's never left my side once even after all our bullshit but I wish he would try harder to provide. I don't bitch about him smoking but when the money is already so tight I get so angry that he could think of spending it on that before his baby. I don't wanna leave I just want his ass to wake up! I can't speak to his mom bc I don't wanna have her in my business and its pointless because she sees nothing wrong with it and ill be darned to bother arguing with her... ugh I can't wait to WORK!
Not a dumb question at all. It's my fault I'm not working. In 2010 I quit BOA because I had enough of my managers which was stupid decision #1. in Nov I started Wachovia and completely HATED IT so like an idiot I quit thinking it would be as easy as the first time to get another job but it didn't happen and I was already pregnant so I just decided to wait it out expecting my bf to be making decent money. I don't ask for frivolous stuff. Just food n bills which is only 2. I try not to stress him out being a burden but damn it money is just too tight to spend it on weed right now. I'm gonna take your suggestion about splitting the money after paying bills. Best suggestion I've been given towards finances.. honestly thank you
u know it wouldn't be so bad if I saw him putting effort behind the pretty words. I wanna do more. I wanna work more hours. It's bs to me. This man took care of his daughters mom while she sat on her ass in the apt that he paid for and he tells me I'm so much more and better than their relationship but here I am. Looking forward to leaving my baby with a baby sitter for hours so I can go to work and bust my ass and make serious money while he's complacent making his baby hours at work and barely having a paycheck.