i feel suicidal :(

TekoasMom

Ever since I got pregnant I've been really stressed out and depressed. A lot of times I really try to mask it and be positive about everything by thinking about my baby..but the bd and I have been arguing almost everyday..and I'm talking like screaming , crying , cursing and what not..I've been on the edge and almost every night I cry to myself and my bd and I are fighting right now cause I worked from 8am to 6pm and I'm so tired..i havnt been getting good sleep and all I wanted to do was go home and catch up on some precious sleep...well, my bd is mad cause I didn't wanna go to his moms house to have dinner and stay there til 12 am or 1 am ...I would but, I'm just so beat! And now I'm a bitch for not going with him. Man...I'm so sad. I know I don't have it as bad as other more unfortunate mommas but...this stress is really getting to me..along with no insurance and car problems ..am I over reacting .? How will all this stress affect my unborn baby..?

AllyAndEmery

..if you feel suicidal id talk to ur dr asap, and maybe get in to see a therapist.

bummy87

I think u should go see a dr because its unhealthy for you, or I dunno if u have hotlines for ppl who are feeling down but a call wouldnt hurt just to talk to someone

Mrs4c

you are not overreacting!!! The stress deferentially can effect baby but first you should think about your happiness. The only way your baby can be okay is if you are okay. Please get some help. You will be okay!!! Don't give up!! I never had depression before being pregnant but started having suicidal and disturbing thoughts similar to yours between weeks 9-17. I'd cry for hours on the floor of my bathroom because of being overwhelmed. It would take hours to get me back to normal state of mind. The thoughts came on sooo quickly and without warning. All our hormones can get thrown off sooo much to cause these thoughts and breakdowns. I'm glad you have logged on to Pregly to talk!! It is really hard to understand depression if you have not gone through it. Please continue to share your thoughts!!!!

Mrs4c

Don't be afraid to tell your OB your feelings. Mine was extremely understanding and didn't judge for one second! She helped me find a solution and gave me SEVERAL options and referrals to different dr.s and therapies just in case the first few ideas didn't help.

TekoasMom

@MrsForesee Omg thank you so much for that. I'm so overwhelmed and I think that it just may be the hormones as I'm in my 10th week..I'm just so scared cause I have all these disturbing thoughts even some to the point of me wanting to just drive my car into the nearest power pole..I'm a mess..though I know in my heart I won't be able to do anything like that I just hate having those feelings..I think its time I open up to someone who can help me.. a therapist would help, I just don't have the money for that..*sigh* I'm pretty sure its my hormones cause before this in situations just like these I always had a level headed mind set..now its like I have the emotional tolerance of a 3year old..I can't take much.. I'm just so glad u know how I feel. Thanks for taking the time to reply , pregly is one of those things that let u know that a total stranger can give the same words of hope encouragement of a long time friend..gives me so much hope. You made my night.

@all yes, all u wonderful ladies are right..I gotta keep looking to the positives. Thank u so much.

God bless u all.

mommy2bof_1

Hi just wanted to let u know ur not alone I've had alot of bad thoughts here lately too it seems like bd don't care bout me or his unborn child n been super depressed but I just pray to god for him to help me deal w/ these bad thoughts n lead me down the right path this was b4 I went to sleep n woke up to my l.o. kickn me n it just made me smile n think to myself she loves me n ill try to b the best mommy I can be to her so just think about that baby nside u n how much he/she is depending on u for ur love sometimes bf/bd s can b such jerks

Mrs4c

If ever you need to talk feel free to inbox me or whatever!!! Can you apply for state assistance? Depression in pregnancy is very common! I'll be praying for you whole heartedley . It is hard to say but I feel understand some of those woman now who end up killing their babies at birth or try aborting their baby themselves. Those feelings can be so sudden and uncontrollable, you leave your own state of mind.

I also hope your bd straightens out, but at the minimum you get help with your car and of course insurance!