I need advice.

caroline8_p

So my bf has a daughter (will be 2 in oct) from his ex. She is a #$%&*, she filed for child support (not a big deal or problem) and court with that is over. I don't think it went as well as SHE expected. Since she gets a lot of govt assistance (ssi, food stamps, medicaid, cash asst) she doesn't get the court ordered child support directly from him. He just basically pays back the state, but he still pays. Well, she doesn't let him see their daughter unless he buys her something (in my eyes). Last time she said to buy 4 outfits (I got those b4 he met up with her) and he got her shampoo and mcdonalds (that she didn't even eat). Now this time (today, actually he's still there) he had to get pull ups & more shampoo (wrong kind last time? And SHE picked it out). Oh and I'm not allowed to met her daughter, even though she is fixing to have a sister. Last time was a set up, they had an agreement, I can't be there & his exs mother can't be there, well she was there. They served him with custody papers, ok, if you would have told him, he still would have taken the papers. So, I'm kinda glad she filed for custody, although 95% of the accusations on the paper are false (I will tell hom to bring all them up to the jidge) it'll finally be black and white that he can see his daughter and her visit OUR home, where I will be.

So should he have to pay extra just to see his child? I don't think so, seems unfair.

emy

Completely unfair. The court wont keep u away as long as their is nothing wrong with u (drugs ect.) As long as he pays child support an has visitation, there would have to b proof that ur unfit otherwise u can b there.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

mrs_shu

Nope but some women are like that. Hubbys ex wants us to buy some back to school clothes. Legally we don't HAVE to. We did it last year but this year financially is harder-he hasn't worked the last 2 weeks due to ankle injury. Because of that his texts asking about the girls go unanswered and requests to speak to them ignored.
Plus with the government assistance some chicks don't get it. And by it I mean the reason why THEY don't get the full amount. His ex used to complain she only got X amount instead of what was determined. Well the full amount gets taken out BUT if you're on food stamps/wic etc the government is taking THEIR share.

caroline8_p

Exactly, she gets zero of what he pays, but she chooses to use the program. There is nothing wrong with me, drugs, bad history, anything. She just genuinely hates me because she says I 'broke up' their 6 month marriage. I lived in tx when we met on our phones (yes, random but cute) and he lived in ny. She kicked him out and took his keys, and well all of his stuff, he came to tx a month later (now we both live in ny). At first I didn't know everything between them, but I knew of her sort of (what he told me anyway). But I told him, I am no homewrecker, he assured me he didn't even want to get married, blah blah... but anyway, she really is taking advantage, and he lets her. I'm nervous of him being over there aline, cause I know she tries to seduce him, it worked before he came to tx & at the last court date she basically said she'd do it again. And he is easy (esp since I don't give it up lately).

@emy @lmelanson @mrs_shu

Mama_busy_bee

In arizona and several states, child suport and parenting time are not related or contingent on eachother.

caroline8_p

In ny, its two different cases. Child support court is already over. Custody court starts on the 11th. But its even on ny website somewhere, keeping a child from the other parent is wrong and can be used against you (the primary parent).

mrs_shu

Most custody states that. I know hubbys papers specifically state even if child support is late or behind it has no bearing on visitation and communication. But really who has the money to keep going back to court every time they pull that crap. His ex kept them from us one christmas (they're supposed to alternate years), literally hid them from us on our wedding day after speaking to him saying they were at her parents for him to pick them up and now keeps coming up with excuses why she wont let them fly up here to visit (first it was because of my oldest now its because "they've never been on a plane before"-give me a break!)
I 100% understand your worry about him over there alone, but remember your relationship is in a whole different place now than it was then-a better and stronger place!
Make sure he has everything or as much as possible documented regarding her keeping him from his daughter. Sadly chances are nothing will happen but at least the judge will reiterate she can't do that and hopefully she'll listen.

caroline8_p

I have faith it'll go more his way than hers, just like child support did. He has fb messages from her saying yes you can see the baby, then she says nevermind. Just mean! But since child support court he has seen her 2x. Hopefully this just goes smoothly. I wish my dad tried even half as hard to see my suster and I, but nope, mom even offered to fly us there. He didn't care.