Feeling way down today... :(
Today started out really good. I went to lunch with my mom, got a free carseat installed (and it's cute instead of generic and ugly even though it's still one of those huge ones).... and then I got the call I didn't want to get. 
Last week on Thursday, I had an ultrasound. They said she was about 4 weeks too small. My dr said he'd take a look at the ultrasound (said since she was really low she could be up to 1 lb heavier and right on track, that the measurements could possibly be off), and if he found anything concerning that he'd call me in to do some monitoring early this week. Well, today was Tuesday, so I figured that I was in the clear (since tomorrow would be middle of the week). But no, about 5 minutes after we left the insurance place that gave us the carseat, I got a call. I couldn't reach my phone in the backseat where I dropped it, so mom pulled over and I called them back. It was my dr's nurse. She said he wasn't in, but they wanted me to come in to do a non-stress test as soon as possible, either this afternoon or tomorrow morning. I told her since I was already in town that I'd go ahead and come by.
The test went fine, he (not my regular dr) said she was a happy baby and that she passed with flying colors today. However, they want me to do another on Friday, and then again on Tuesday. He said we'll be doing them twice a week til birth. If she's okay, I don't understand why I have to keep doing them.(
Then on top of that, they sprung the group b strep swab on me. That's normally no big deal, but I had NO idea they swabbed the back-door, too. And that freaked me out, and kinda made me feel slightly violated. Is that weird? Had they warned me, I woulda been fine. But I had no warning about the area they swabbed. It was a nurse that did it, instead of the doctor. Not to mention it was a nurse that I had never seen before today (because it was this doctor's nurse instead of my dr's). I hadn't even expected to go to the dr today! AND I gained two full pounds in 4 days.
Next came back at work, and I was working on my letter to Soldier. I wasn't working today, just waiting on Mom to do her thing. My grandma (the owner) kinda ignored me when I went to ask her how to prevent postpartum separation anxiety (she's a therapist, and I'm worried because I already panic whenever I think about baby being anywhere away from me for any length of time, even to do routine tests). She just sat down and was reading a newspaper... but it's possible she didn't actually hear me since I wasn't speaking very loudly. She's still kinda sore about my mom searching for a new job.
I got to talk to Soldier today, and usually that puts me in a fabulous mood. I told him about the other stuff, and then we bantered back and forth (which was fun), but at the end of the conversation... I just wanted to tell him everything that's in my letter. But I can't. For a few reasons, the main one being that I want to send the letter. Another being that I feel foolish. I don't know if he still loves me or not. The letter is nearly 6 pages long, and I feel like it's hopeless.
Add to it the fact that my dad was super stressed today, too, and he literally broke down and cried while at work because Mom told him about them calling me in, and I just feel like poo.(
Last week on Thursday, I had an ultrasound. They said she was about 4 weeks too small. My dr said he'd take a look at the ultrasound (said since she was really low she could be up to 1 lb heavier and right on track, that the measurements could possibly be off), and if he found anything concerning that he'd call me in to do some monitoring early this week. Well, today was Tuesday, so I figured that I was in the clear (since tomorrow would be middle of the week). But no, about 5 minutes after we left the insurance place that gave us the carseat, I got a call. I couldn't reach my phone in the backseat where I dropped it, so mom pulled over and I called them back. It was my dr's nurse. She said he wasn't in, but they wanted me to come in to do a non-stress test as soon as possible, either this afternoon or tomorrow morning. I told her since I was already in town that I'd go ahead and come by. The test went fine, he (not my regular dr) said she was a happy baby and that she passed with flying colors today. However, they want me to do another on Friday, and then again on Tuesday. He said we'll be doing them twice a week til birth. If she's okay, I don't understand why I have to keep doing them.
( Then on top of that, they sprung the group b strep swab on me. That's normally no big deal, but I had NO idea they swabbed the back-door, too. And that freaked me out, and kinda made me feel slightly violated. Is that weird? Had they warned me, I woulda been fine. But I had no warning about the area they swabbed. It was a nurse that did it, instead of the doctor. Not to mention it was a nurse that I had never seen before today (because it was this doctor's nurse instead of my dr's). I hadn't even expected to go to the dr today! AND I gained two full pounds in 4 days.
Next came back at work, and I was working on my letter to Soldier. I wasn't working today, just waiting on Mom to do her thing. My grandma (the owner) kinda ignored me when I went to ask her how to prevent postpartum separation anxiety (she's a therapist, and I'm worried because I already panic whenever I think about baby being anywhere away from me for any length of time, even to do routine tests). She just sat down and was reading a newspaper... but it's possible she didn't actually hear me since I wasn't speaking very loudly. She's still kinda sore about my mom searching for a new job.
I got to talk to Soldier today, and usually that puts me in a fabulous mood. I told him about the other stuff, and then we bantered back and forth (which was fun), but at the end of the conversation... I just wanted to tell him everything that's in my letter. But I can't.
For a few reasons, the main one being that I want to send the letter. Another being that I feel foolish. I don't know if he still loves me or not. The letter is nearly 6 pages long, and I feel like it's hopeless. Add to it the fact that my dad was super stressed today, too, and he literally broke down and cried while at work because Mom told him about them calling me in, and I just feel like poo.
(
Comments
@MrsG thanks, hun. *hugs*
Here's the topper to my night: my brother is home tonight, which means he's going to wake me up at least twice when making food (since I sleep in the livingroom) since he doesn't eat during the day like a normal person. Ugh. Just what I needed: an ungrateful a-hole to muck up my much needed sleep. =( I'm just going to ignore him... you ladies don't even want to know what happened last time we got into it. >.<