i couldnt do it

redhead25

My friend has a son that has extreme behavior issues. I guess their insurance doesn't cover all the things he needs so she signed him over to the state so he can be in a group home to help with his behavior issues...counselling, meds, ect. To me it seems that she didnt try every step before signing him over. She didn't try to appeal Medicaid, to get him labeled a disabled ect. I'm sorry but I would go into extreme debt paying for lawyers to get him considered disabled before just giving him away. I understand that they couldn't give him what he needed but it just bugs me that they didnt try every route before giving him up. And when talking to her about it she seems a little upset but she also seems relieved. My son is friends with her son and I had to explain to him that he won't be able to spend the night or hang out anymore...he just doesn't get the concept that he won't be living with his parents anymore...I'm kinda glad he doesn't understand it so he doesn't ever have to worry about me giving him up.

blueberrysmom

Jeez. That's shameful and very sad.

redhead25

@blueberrysmom I think so too. He's 7 and he should be with the people that love him. I guess they rushed through it and the judge signed off on it and called them yesterday and said you need to drop him off so they didn't even prepare him or their other kid about him leaving.

blueberrysmom

She needs her ass kicked. Poor kid.

babyinblack682

I no it sounds bad but its probably a temporary relief for her and reality will sink in later it is extremely difficult to deal with disabilities especially extreme behavior. I'm not saying I would give my kid up but I work in group homes and man 8 hours somedays seems like an eternity I couldn't imagine 24-7

vtmamajuju

I will start off by saying I have absolutely no right to an opinion because I've never been in those shoes before, but being a parent is hard no matter who you are. I do know what it is like to have a child with medical disabilities and I know how exhausting it is, but I wouldn't give it up for anything. Who cares about the parents! Parenting is hard no matter what! Think about the poor child! Imagine how much it will scar him thinking they didn't love him!

redhead25

Sorry...pregly wasn't letting me get on last night and this morning...
@babyinblack682 I agree I think it hasn't sank in yet what shes actually done. Right now it will seem like a vacation but it will eventually hit her that he's not coming home for good.
@vtmamajuju any way I look at it I just can't figure out how being in a group home with strangers is better for him than people that love him and know him and have the patients to handle him.

survivormommie3

its easier to give him "away" than to get him back and get her rights back. im not so sure shell ever get him back. that's traggic. i could only IMAGINE how her son feels right now. she probably made it worst by giving him away

ExcitedForOctober

Poor child, you do not just "give kids away". So sad...

redhead25

@survivormommie3 he's really anxious and panicky anyways...and the couple of people he trusted he can't trust anymore. Any shot he had at being normal has gone out the window.
@excitedforoctober I agree...this could have and should have been handled in a completely different way.

blessedbe_x3

My Heart just sank reading this that poor boy! My son is 6 I could never imagine him not being here with me every day. Let alone never seeing him! I just dont understand some people SMH

redhead25

@soontohavethree right! I'm going out of town for a week the week after next and it took me months to decide to do it because I didn't want to be away for that amount of time. I can't imagine just walking away from your child like that.

mrs_shu

I'm surprised she was able to do that because its actually very difficult to just sign a child over to the state (usually lawyers are involved)..and if there are other children they don't let you just keep the rest ya know?
To get a child "labeled" typically goes through the public school system, not medicaid, and it is a LONG process..generally on average 9 months for full evaluation and iep's done thru the school. And even after that nothing just falls into place lickey split due to over worked case workers and non stop budget cuts.
Depending in his problems, the group home may not help especially now that there wont be any "family" for counseling sessions. Plus group homes and other residential type places aren't how they used to be. Years ago a child could go in till 18-24 years of age, now a days its pretty much 2 years max

I wont say I don't have a problem with their decision but I understand it.

redhead25

@mrs_shu I said appeal Medicaid bc they tried to get Medicaid and they were turned down. He's in a special school for behavior kids..well was...probably not going to go there anymore and he was still the naughty kid at that school. She brought the whole thing up to me about a month ago that this might be the way they would go (signing her rights over). I talked to her about trying to get him considered disabled and such. I think all the drs and counselors and specialists and case workers had a lot to do with it being rushed. I guess they all wrote recommendations and such. She's not an unfit mother so there is no need to take the other child away. It was labelled voluntary at no fault of the parent. I understand that its a huge process to get considered disabled but she's been dealing with it for 7 years why not wait the year or so to get disability...I honestly feel that she was more willing to give him away than to fight to keep him.

redhead25

And to make matters worse my bf just called saying her hubby and her want to go out drinking tonight bc they are upset...they dropped him off yesterday and now they want to go out and party tonight?!?!

redhead25

@mariahaucoin77 oh wow...I know he hurts himself like repeatedly bashing his head into the walls but not sure if he was a threat to others. I know she's told me that he's been suspended for telling the teachers he was going to cut their heads off and throw them into the dumpster.

Mnbaby3

That poor child..feel so bad for him :-(