Irresponsible Mother(s)

edited August 2011 in Teen moms
I'm 19 years old. I feel as if I'm a little more responsible than others. When I became pregnant at 18, the father of my child and I decided we'd continue our education, we moved out of his parents' house, we got married, we rent, and we both work a full time job. I'm pregnant, yet again with our second son (very soon, I know). But we're doing fairly well, for being 19 years old. Sometimes we hit a struggle but nothing we can't handle. I'm very pround to say whers we stand.

So, I have a few friends, more or less my age, who are also teenage mothers. I don't approve or respect of some of their behavior. Do I have a right to be mad, or bothed by their actions? It really irritates me, but do I have a right to voice my opinion to them?

Comments

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  • Umm yea but I doubt it'll help anything.. some are just immature and irresponsible and having a child hasn't helped the situation or made them realize they have to grow up. I was also a teen mom got pregnant at 17 I spent every waking moment caring for my son then after I graduated got 2 jobs to support him while my sons dad went out and partied (he's now in prison) his sister got pregnant at 17 also (I was 20 at that time) she went to the clubs with her big ol belly then she gave birth to her daughter on a Tuesday or Monday and she was at the club that same Saturday!! I voiced my opinion to her (how she was never with her daughter) she didn't listen. Til now and thts bc she got pregnant again when her daughter was only 2 months old (diff bd)... they'll learn at their own time and in their own ways sadly
  • I sometimes feel the same way. I feel as if it's not my place to tell them how I feel about the choices they make for their children. It really bother me because my husband and I were young too, but when we found out we were pregnant we both stepped up and made that change from child to adults, they can too!

    I have 2 friends, who have publically posted on Facebook "Who can babysit for me tonight?" and often other people will respond and these friends of mine will actually leave their children with neighbors, friends from school, mutual friends. With just about anybody. It makes me almost sick.
  • I think the biggest thing with young mothers is that they feel that since they're still "teenagers/young" they are entitled to living the way teenagers/youngens without children should. Buy, this doesn't go for just young, teenage parents. I know a 31 year old who thinks that because she works, she should be entitled to "play time" several times a week and pawns the kids off on their father. My problem with this is that the father of these kids works full time 2 jobs, plus is going to school and she freaks out when he wants to go out. She will tell him "well since you're getting to go out, I should be able to have a night out as well". Bitch, no, you have a night out at least twice a week so knock it off. Ugh. I wish people could put as much focus and energy on being a good parent as they do being irresponsible.
  • You could but honestly you'd be wasting your energy and breath. They will react defensively to anything you say. If you're that bothered by what they do (or don't do) its probably better just to cut ties with them or block/delete them from your facebook.
  • @mrs_shu I feel almost guilty sometimes for thinking they're "bad" parents, because we were all friends before our children, but breaking ties with them sounds like a good idea, because I know I will never be okay with such actions.
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  • Me and both of my sisters had babies at 19. My baby sister and I both had already established our careers and shifted priorities before our babies were born. My other sister wanted to continue to play and party. Eventually pawned her son off on her inlaws (her hubby was away at law school and had no idea what she was doing) and disappeared for days at a time. She regrets her actions now (he hasn't lived with her since he was 2yrs old), but not enough to think of her son first when she makes plans or decisions. She's 30 now! It makes me crazy! But... She's my sister, so I can't cut her out of my life.
  • Im 27 and have a few friends my age that are bad mothers. Its really sad.
  • Yeah, I wouldn't say anything, unless their child is in real danger. All it would do is make you look like a bad guy. I have a friend who drives me absolutely crazy, with things she lets her kids watch and do and be around, but they aren't in physical danger and I just look like a brat whenever I say anything. So I just try to avoid her and not let her bad decisions affect my kid.
  • If you guys really are good friends I would talk to them about. If they go ballistic then I would have to tell them bye. But I would give it a try if you guys are close.
  • Its not an age thing. I get juust as irritated with young momfriends who are selfish as with the older ones.
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