my friend wants a baby but she is almost 500 pounds!!

Mama_luvs_her_girls

I have a very dear friend who has been trying to conceive for years. I know its her weight and I'm sure she does too but it isn't stopping her. Because of her weight she has no cartilage in her knees and can barely get around. She finally begged her doctor to give her clomid ( I think that's how its spelled) by telling her that regardless of if she puts her on the drug she will continue to try, and she doesn't want to be 35 and pregnant because of the risks to the baby. Well the doctor told her she wanted to do a complete physical and if everything comes back good she will give her the medicine. I'm supporting and standing by her 100% but I really think its a bad idea. What if she has a heart attack in the next 5 years? Then what? What if her body cannot handle being pregnant and she loses the baby, which would devastate her. Does anyone know women who had babys at 475 pounds? I just need reassurance that my friend will make it through pregnancy with a healthy baby.

FiirstTiimeMommy2b

Bump***

Spray85

It'll definitely put a lot of stress on her heart. Do u think she could pass a cardiac stress test? I have patients over 400 lbs and they all have problems with an enlarged heart due to it having to pump so much to supply all the body tissues with blood. And with a baby u gain more fluid and blood, making the heart work even harder. In my opinion, weight loss first and then try to conceive. Has she looked into gastric bypass or is her weight gain due to thyroid trouble?

preggointx

There was a woman on baby bump pregnant at 500 pounds I know a lady who had, to, been 400 & had a baby the, baby has down syndrome but I'm not connecting that to her weight. I lost 10 pounds before I got pregnant I weighed almost 300 last year and I have absolutely no problems with my pregnancy no gd or pre e... I'm just now back to my weight before pregnancy and hope I deliver before I get to 300 I would have a fit....my suggestion to her is to loose weight first even 40-50 pounds could help her to conceive & if she eats healthy she could successfully and healthily loose during pregnancy & then it would b best to make life changes & walk for the sake of being healthy

Spray85

--oh but I haven't known of any women +375 and preggo

valentinasmommy

I'm sorry that your friend is going thru this. I think that she'll be really high risk if she does. I hope she can get some answers.

ash1la

You are a good friend for being concerned. I don't know anybody that heavy trying to have a baby. So I really can't be any help....how long has she been trying to conceive for? And the doctor has need suggested that she lose some weight before trying? My only concern with clomid is, that it thins out your uterus lining and so the suggested limit of rounds is 6, so what if she she uses some of her rounds only to need them at a later date...maybe after she looses some weight....did that make since about the clomid?

mrs_shu

This could be stereo typing but considering her weight and her mobility issues I really doubt she will pass a physical so you shouldn't be too concerned. As for the what ifs..valid concerns and of course she's at a higher risk but if its what she truly wants then maybe it will be incentive for her to lose some weight. I'm not talking she's got to be 140 or anything but enough so her mobility issues aren't such a problem.

azmom

Its not the weight I'd be worried about its how can she physically take care of an infant then a toddler who's running around? I'd. Say she needs to focus. On excercise than a baby at moment....I am 304 the heaviest ive been in my life n 36weeks n extremely active especially for my weight...I look 220ive been told its how active n how much she can move...

VictoriaB

I used to live by a lady who was very heavy. She got gastric bypass surgery after getting married and dropped tons of weight. After she dropped the weight she was able to conceive. Maybe your friend should look into weight loss surgery before she gets pregnant. As some of the other ladies have mentioned, it will be beneficial to her when her little one is a toddler and then a small child.

ashes

I'm just curious but....how old is she?
She's worried about risk carrying over age 35, but she's not worried about risk carrying at an unhealthy weight? It sounds like she wants a child right now for different reasons other than health/risk to herself or baby.

mommy2b1111

I agree with @ashes..weight loss should b the motive at this point

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mschop

Her not being able to get pregnant right now may be her bodies way of saying it won't be able to carry a baby. I'm sure if she lost some wight, she would be able to have a healthy baby without the medicine. Maybe try to help her get moving and making healthier food choices

kayleigh27

I knew a woman who had a baby at 327 lbs. She was pre eclampsic and what not but she had a healthy baby. I think she.needs to lose the weight first

mommyof3girls

She should def get her health in check first b4 having a baby. Its part of being a parent. U need to take care of ur self cause if u cant take care of ur self then ur just cheating the baby out. Ur a really good friend for being concerned. I hooe she gets some help so she can have the life she wants.

[Deleted User]

I had a friend who weight 400lbs. Her and her husband tried for year. Ivf and so on. They ended up adopting. She got a stomach bypass and dropped to 200. Then they had 4 kids naturally. She now has to take birthcontrol. Has anyone talked to her about her weight? Its similar to women who are too thin and have issues. The body just doesn't cycle correctly until its in a more stable condition.

firsttymemom

I was at 407 when I found out I was pregnant, even tho no one believes I weigh that much. My pregnancy has been great so far, I'll be 31 weeks Wednesday. No gd or pre-e. However, I wish myself I woulda lost weight pre-pregnancy and my advice for your friend would to look into lap band surgery (its safer than the gastric bypass) if she gets approved for it and sticks to it, within about 2 years she can try getting pregnant.

Steph_Due_101611

She doesn't wanna be 35 when she gets pregnant due to risks of the baby, but personally i think her getting pregnant at such a high weight could pose more of a risk to the baby. If she truly wants a baby then in her heart she should know she needs to loose the weight and get healthier. Being that morbidly obese and pregnant puts you at higher risk for GD and Pre-E and it can have POTENTIALLY fatal outcomes.

Mama_luvs_her_girls

@Spray85 She tried for gastric bypass but she has to be under 400 pounds before she is able to have it

Mama_luvs_her_girls

@preggointx she has been eating small healthy portions but because of her knees she cannot exercise

Mama_luvs_her_girls

@MrsG She has been big her entire life beginning from birth. Her sisters are obese as well. I'm pretty sure its due to thyroid and I'm not sure what her diet is like but I know she didn't get 475 eating baked chicken and salads.

Mama_luvs_her_girls

@ashes she is 30. I know why she is wanting a baby as bad as she does. Her mom died last year. Me, her sisters, and her friends are all getting pregnant. She has been depressed and feels she has nothing to really live for anymore. I told her those were not good reasons to have a baby but she doesn't care.

ashes

A lot of times its not what they have for a meal that's bad, but what they snack on or sneak in between. My dad had a friend that ate superbly for meals, but in between had cake, cookies, chips, etc. You'd never even see him eat them, he would stay a weekend here and we would buy food, then come a day later I'd go for a bowl of chips and the whole bag would be gone.

Even if it started with thyroid problems, from what you're telling us it's not thyroid problems now. My mom has thyroid problems that she doesn't keep check of all the time but still never got that big. What this person will need is a serious wake up call. For my dad's friend it was when he became so large his immune system was compromised and he got infections in his blood that went to his heart and almost killed him. It was a direct result of being obese.

bbylucasMomma

I worked with a friend who was pretty big not sure how much she weighed but she was easily double or triple my size I'm 160 preprrgnancy and 160 @ 36 weeks also but she got pregnant before me on her own she's also 20 still young but she went into labor and the baby had to have emergency heart surgery but didn't make it I'm not sure of the whole story cause I quit a month or two before it happened and didn't find it respectful to ask

bbylucasMomma

I also worked with this lady who was obese foe her tiny size she just started doing a walking video eating 100 cal bag of popcorn with lunch and dinner and whatched what she ate a year later she's now a third of her starting size and feeling great and she looks great we were cashiers and time and time again ppl who came through her line would ask how she did it and she would say walking and watching what I ate

mandac10

She needs to focus on herself before considering having a child. I think its Sorta selfish of her. Like one pregly said how is she going to run after a toddler? And u said what if she has a heart attack n dies.... who's going to take the child? That's not a life for any child. She needs to get herself healthy n then try. If she wants a baby so bad she wont mind waiting even if she's older then 35. Yes there are risks but if she gets healthy now then trys vs get pregnant now to me being pregnant now is way riskier. Plus I promise u with her weight cps will step in and investigate her. The docs will notify them.
But ur a good friend for being concerned. If anything I hope her dreams of a baby modivate her to dropping some pounds

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one5one

I'm 30 & preg with baby # 2. I purposely lost weight the 2 yrs before I ttc. Why? Because I knew my body at almost 300 lbs would not be healthy enough to conceive or hold on to the baby or even be healthy. I lost almost 60 lbs then ttc'd & got preggy right away! & we are as healthy as possible.... though I have pre existing type2 diabetes & chronic pre hypertension. There's no way your friend is healthy enough to carry a healthy kid, let alone get preg. Obviously because she's not preg already. Her body shut down at the high weight....mind you not all big ladies bodys shut down but some can. & hers is as mine did. She should look into a healthy lifestyle for a year or 2 before ttc. Its better for her & the baby she may have.