Am I "overreacting"?

BabyBubba123111

Ladies can you please let me know if Im ocerreacting? My df just doesnt seem to get it! He has female friends (that I never had a problem with before since I have male friends) On two occasions I found out that he would hang out over his friends house (female!) and not let me know until after he left. When I would confront him on it he would downplay it and act like it wasnt a big deal. (He knows that pisses me off!) I told him how its not right for a man in a relationship to be hanging out with female friends at night when he has a gf. So since then he told me he understood where I was coming from (yeah right) and from now on he would let me know if he was going to hang out with anyone. Well we are engaged now to be married next year and tonight I find out that he did it again! I called him at 10:30 to him playing music in the background, letting me know he was in his car. I asked him where is he coming from "my friends house" and the friend is a female. He did it again! Then when i get pissed the f**K off he has the nerve to tell me that Im "overreacting" So once AGAIN i remind him how he cant do that and how we've been through this already and had an understanding. But he goes and pulls this again. Im raging right now and having him say that Im pregnant and hormonal almost made me flip out! Since I am hormonal all I did was cry and hang up the phone because I felt like he didnt even try to see where I was coming from. ladies I need HONEST opinions am I overreacting???

emy

I don't think so. My husband doesn't go to females houses becuz if he did I would tell him to stay there.

momto4

I don't think you are overreacting, you are in a relationship sonorous shouldn't happen, if he want to hang with them, fine but include u, either take u with him or invite them over...and trust me he would probably hav a problem with you hanging out alone at a guys house when u aren't pregnant anymore.

one5one

Why is he over at these girl's home & not letting you knw til he leaves?? Maybe he doesn't want you to know he's over there so you don't go over there while he's there....somethings up...if you ask me.

KaylaThering

I was in a similar situation when my husband and I started to date. He spent the night with his ex to help watch her sisters kids. Needless to say he hasn't spoken to her in 3 plus yrs and we've been married three. He realized how it felt when I hung with my ex. Maybe you should hang with your Guy friends?

blueberrysmom

You're not overreacting. Honestly, I would not be able to be with a guy who did that. I would call off or put a "hold" on the engagement until he could show that he is capable of respecting the relationship enough to honor your wishes. Just my opinion.

naliibby2

that's not ok.. either u all hang together or no hanging at all.. he has his own fam n has no bizz there

[Deleted User]

Nope your not.

letysfirst

Your not over reacting... my ex had a lot of female friends n one day I found out he was gonna go on a cruise with 5 females n I said the hell u ain't!!! He didn't go but took him a while to understand, I finally left him n then later he was kissin my ass to take him back... I didn't! But his friends did not like me n till this day, him knowing im prego n all he still asks ppl bout me smh

BabyBubba123111

Thank you ladies for responding. We are supposed to go to counseling before the wedding and I told him if I were to bring this up to the pastor he would agree to some extent. I spoke to him since this post and he still thinks he did nothing wrong. Im not naive at all and I know the possibilities of a man doing something like this thats why I get so heated when he does it and then tells me to trust him. GTFOH I really thought we were making progress but apparently not. I started to feel cramps after this happened so Im just going to put this on the back burner for now and calm down...until another day.

podgemarine

The situation he is allowing himself to be in is not right.. I don't think that's overreacting. I would be worse.. I don't really like my husband to hang with the guys cause the guys can do stupid shit too u know?

BabyBubba123111

@podgemarine I know what you mean. He doesnt have alot of guy friends (which now I wish he did) He never struck me as the cheating type but now I just dont know. Ive trusted him up until this point (and I trust no one!) Im just at a point where I just shut down and told him to do whatever he wanted. Him being him he tried to be funny and say "YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?" definately not the time to be playing with me. He always does that to lighten the mood. This is a 30yo man and right now I just look at him as a child. If we go through this counseling and nothing changes (obviously we have more issues) then Im not going to go through with this wedding. Im at work right now, supposed to be leaving at 12 and all I can do is look at the walls because I just dont get it. Its obvious in my eyes, why cant he see it? *sigh*

brttnywstn14

This is just my opinion and mine and my bfs relationship is different than yours im sure but I just wanted to voice my thoughts....I don't think your over reacting but I don't see a problem with him hanging out with friends that are females...the problem is that u have asked him to tell you when he's there and he doesn't tell you. That is disrespectful. Most of my bfs friends are female but they all know me and I know them and I'm just not the kind of girl to tell my bf he can't be friends with any females...I'd actually rather him hangout with his girl friends than his guy friends lol so maybe try explaining to him that you don't mind him hanging out with them (if u don't mind) that you would just like to know that he's there....and I think that is a good compromise...if he doesn't agree to it and still goes to their house without telling you then I'd go all crazy on him lol (sorry so long)

podgemarine

I'm so sorry hun, but even tho he has mostly girl that are friends u sometimes have to give up your prior hang out crowd to be with the one u want to marry u know? Believe me, my husband and I have come a long way and it is just us that matters.. so that's where our focus is. I hope the counseling does help, and I truly hope he comes around. Everyone woman deserves their knight in shiny armor ! Good luck, wishing u the best !
*ps..go home and pamper urself with a bath or somethin to relax..u deserve it