Is it wrong to not want your SO to have female friends?

black_butterfly

I've been having a situation with my SO, last yr I was unfaithful and now currently we are expecting our third child. This past yr has been rather difficult but we are stil hanging in there trying to work things out. We have been together 11 yrs. Now he insists on having female friends, I really wouldnt have a problem with it if I didnt feel like it was because of what I did that brought this sudden urge. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Now he's saying that I can have male friends but I have no desire to make any new friends or start and start any problems when Im trying to repair the damage Ive already caused. Then these women always having something nasty to say and he pisses me off because he erases all his calls and text messages. He says its because hr doesnt want to upset be or because I overreact but I'm upset because you erased them dummy!!!!! Again I know I messed things up by stepping out and I know trust is very hard to get back but I cant help but feel like all these new friends are going to be nothing but trouble. Am I wrong ladies????????

MommyLovesSparkle

Nope your not wrong. My bf and I don't have friends and our relationship is close to perfect. Friends especially female friends will mess everything up. They always have and always will unless their like 80 years old lol

lalalorree

I so hear ya! I currently met my bf through work, while I was in a four year relationship I ended up cheating on my ex, and my current cheated on his ex too with me. He has alot of friends who are girls and im always worried he will go back to his ways. I know I wont cause I felt.guilty putting my ex through those emotions, but yet im very happy I did, cause I love my current bf now! I recently caught my current bf with text messages to ither girls that were inapproiate. I confronted him and things have been good. Although im still sketched he will continue to talk to his chick friends.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

podgemarine

Not at all! And if he does it should be open at the VERY least. No deleting and shit.. have u asked why he has this sudden new urge to have female friends?

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

mandac10

I made it clear to my husband that I don't trust his hoe bag friends and it eather them or me

pregoagainYAY

@mandac10 amen girl! I trust my husband but I certainly do NOT trust most females......

smcox

I personally think it's very disrespectful to hang out with the opposite sex alone or be sending or receiving inappropriate messages. I highly recommend going to a counselor!!!! Just from what I read here it seems like he's still very hurt and wants "revenge". I'm not saying he's doing it on purpose, it may be subconsciously. The only way for both of you to recover and fully trust each other again you may need outside help. Otherwise it may just be a vicious cycle. I'm sorry I really hope things get better!!!

hayz_baby

Whats so? Also.. Are u puttin ur guilt into fear...no offence but u were unfaithful.. Has he been? Mayb u shud speak to someone outside to help fix trust issues and get ur relationship bak on track.. Cpncentrate on ur realtionship and when everything is bak on track then see how u feel. My boyf has female friends.. I know he wont do anything and i trus him 100%

black_butterfly

@mommylovessparkle thats what I told him but he doesnt seem to understand that.

@lalalorree if he didnt seem like he was hiding somethinv it wouldnt bother me I know we cant have relationship without trust, and I like you would never do anything to hurt him again its these women I dont trust

@mshahir the same exact thing I said

@podgemarine yes I asked he said that he wants.a socisl life.. Just ask if he would hang out with them and me and he said sure is there some hope

AKmommy

I don't have any issues with my husband having friends either male or female. I'm guys wife, not his keeper. I trust him though so i guess that makes a difference. Its kind of weird that its all of a sudden and he deletes stuff, and if it wasn't for that I would say there is nothing wrong with your SO having friends with the opposite sex. Makes no sense to me to tell someone who they can be friends with and to tell them that they can't have ANY friends of the opposite sex. Guess it seems extreme to me. In your situation I would say its weird for it to be all of a sudden so you'll have to get to the bottom of it. Without trust I can see that being stressful, hope it all works out love

mandac10

It is those whore little girls! Why do thy live braking up a family? I could never do that! I always become friends with the wives n gf! I make it known im married n I don't want ur husband! Lol! But some women love ruining things. Its like a challenge for them. I don't know what pleasure they get out of it. N what cracks me up is the men alway end up wanting there wife/gf back cause they realise the other one was nothing but trash. By then its alwas too late. My daughters dad cheated on me and I left never looked back. 6 years later he's a looser! Can't keep a job or a woman! No one wants him and he still to this day tells me he loves me n wants me back! Lol get over yourself! Should've thought of that before u had to have that other girl!

laura536

I don't think he should be hiding calls and texts from you. It does seem like he might be doing it on purpose to hurt you. We only have "couple" friends, but my husband talks to both the wives and the husbands. He doesn't hide messages or calls though.

black_butterfly

@nova I really dont want to hang out with these women but I wpuld like to know oi t was ok if I wanted to tag along

@mandac10 lol dont blame you

@pregoagainyay I feel the same way, I know in my heart that he's not doing s anything but I cant say the same for these so called friends

@smcox thank you I hope so too, I know he's still hurt but making new friends doesnt help our situation in any way

@hayz_baby yes I can honestly say that it is a fear, as to him being umfaithful I dont believe so, also if I never did what I did I know thid probably wouldnt be an issue

lalalorree

@black_butterfly ugh I know too many desperate girls who want men in a relationship even when they.know your having a kid. It really is a piss off!

loveourlittleone

If he is deleting calls and texts there is always cause for concern. Especially if it is something that he just started doing all of a sudden.
There's nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex but when your partner is being shady about it is when its not ok.

txmoorekat

I don't see anything wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, and would never dictate to my husband who he can/can't be friends with.

I agree with some of the advise above. Y'all should explore counseling to help get your feelings out and the relationship back on track. Regardless of who his friends are, the relationship will fail without trust. Good luck!

monkey_girl

Not at all! My husband cut out "female friends" when we got serious. He didn't like it when I had male friends so had to cut them out of my life. We have our close friends who are married and single, but we both know them and get along with them.

black_butterfly

Thanks ladies you gave some very good responses I have to say that if Im going to get anywhere with this relationship as far as rebuilding Im going to have to trust him and trust in us that everything will work out. I have to honestly say I am afraid of him deciding he doesnt want to be with me with him having these new found friends, it makes me feel weird and probably all the things I made him feel when I cheated but he's whats important to me not these women so Im not going to give up on him hasnt given up on me just going to fight and pray thanks again pregly fam
@mommylovesparkle
@lalalorree
@mshahir
@podgemarine
@nova
@mandac10
@pregoagainyay
@smcox
@hayz_baby
@akmommy
@laura536
@loveourlittleone

Carsons_mommy

My husband and I don't talk to anyone of the opposite sex unless they are a friend of both of ares.

black_butterfly

@monkey_girl I totally agree with that

@txmoorekat def looking into speaking with someone but I have to agree that trust is a big part of fixing this problem and thanks I can use all the luck I can get

black_butterfly

@monkey_girl I totally agree with that

@txmoorekat def looking into speaking with someone but I have to agree that trust is a big part of fixing this problem and thanks I can use all the luck I can get

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

black_butterfly

@carsons_mommy I agree but Im going to give it all I have to make things work

black_butterfly

@mshahir thanks sweetie Im mean Im the one who messed up big time but 11yrs three kids later and even after he's still here with me, supporting me, loving me that says alot thanks .again

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

pregoagainYAY

You are very welcome sweetie!

podgemarine

Welcome hope it all goes well

Janet_2011

My husband has no female friends.. He says hi and bye to his co workers and thats about it, he is also nice to my friends but not too friendly.. Why does he needs female friends any ways? If they are only friends.. Why is he erasing everything? That makes me wonder if he is been honest with you.

[Deleted User]

Sounds like he's trying to pay you back in a way. I would go to counselling together to try to find a middle ground.

My dh just works with women and it makes me nuts. Pregnancy hormones don't help.