Anyone one that's been cheated on, HELP

pawgio

I wish I had never read his fb messages.. I'm glad I know now, but I just can't get what was said out of my head.. I can't sleep, it just creeps into my mind and it disgusts me. Have any of you read something like this? Is it ever going to go away? I just want a good night of sleep, I really need it.. I feel like it's burned into my brain everytime I think of it the hole in my heart burns a little more, I can't take it I wish I could have my memory erased..

breewashington08

Eventually it gets easier but I'm sorry that it never goes away. I dnt hav a lot of advice cuz it is a very very hard situation an to b honest its been yrs an it stil hurts me an I stil resent that person.. trust will b hard to come by now. An he wil prolly do evrything he can to make things right an make u feel bettr an it feels good that he's showing u this attention...but the whole time he's doing good u wil continue n always ask urself if he's stil talkin to that girl.
Its a lot to go thru ecspecially while pregnant. I hope u find peace in what evr u choose to do. Its a pain all its own. Stay strong tho. Here if u needa talk

MyLittleLove

It's always the hardest at night. I felt my best while I was out with friends keeping myself occupied. It's hard mama, I know...

preggointx

Its hard but r u going to forgive him or break up with him

pawgio

@breewashington08 I'm going to make him call her and tell her everything he told me, that he has no real feelings for her and she needs to leave him alone because he wants to save our relationship. I'm hoping that hearing him say that to her will help get what I read out of my mind or at least put it at ease a little.
@k_babix0 after being with him for so long and all of the things I've been through in the last couple years I've found out I only have two real friends.. and he's one of them. My other friend came and stayed with me last night, I was too scared to be alone with everything so fresh in my mind, she could only keep my head somewhere else for so long before everything came rushing back.. and as soon as I tried to go to sleep my mind kicked into high gear and hit me with the whole day at full speed.. I just wanted him here holding me..
@preggointx as of now we are broken up.. he wants to prove to me he can make things right, I'm giving him the opportunity to try and make things better, that's what I really want, but I'm not sure he can do it.. he has until the baby comes in November to change my mind

podgemarine

Poor thing I hate that u r going through this.. be strong for that baby , because it is depending on u and needs u. Being cheated on is the worst feeling because of the betrayal .. eventually it will become easier, and just know u have the support here, and I hope u have a good support system at home. I know u have said ur not staying with him , but I love that u are going.to not make it hell on that baby and fight him harder or get revenge..
Keep ur chin up darling, god wouldn't put u through something u couldn't handle

pawgio

@podgemarine Thank you! It's hard to be strong when I just want to diappear. My parents are divorced and they hate each other and always manipulated us against the other and used us in their custody battles.. when I was really young I promised myself if it came to it I would never do that to my children, even if I hated the guy my kids would still believe we were friends. I'm not one to let someone hurt me without making sure they know what they've done, he's going to live with all of the pain I'm living with for a long time

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podgemarine

I know what u mean. Being prego makes it harder too cause ur emotions are much more intense. Just be glad u did find out now, and if u decide u can forgive him just this once , u have to forgive him and move on. If u cannot move on don't get back with him til u can. Keep me updated on how ur doing please, and go pamper u today. Foot massage is in order

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Fate

:-*

preggointx

Well my advise is listen to ur brain not ur heart u deserve to b treated as the queen u r if he can fix it great if he cant put u first good luck

breewashington08

Yea having him do that wil help ease ur mind a little but u wil always hav doubts now. I really hope u find the strength to get thru this. Goodluck

MyLittleLove

I had to come on my laptop specially for you because it's so hard to write on my phone! Every feeling you described to me, I have felt. I call those emotions my "mental hangover," when I feel there's still so much I wish could be changed and I don't know where to start or how to sort things out. I was with a BOY for 3 years and he treated me like a dog and somehow made me believe that he loved me at the same time. I was so fooled it was ridiculous. I really believed there would be no way for me to move on and I cried and cried for days and hours thinking if I should just take him back because it would make the pain stop. You don't want him back. U just want to feel "normal" again and you may feel that way for a few hours or days but it will never be the same once reality settles in and the pain subsides and turns to anger. You will see him for who and what he is and you will keep repeating this cycle until YOU break it. You are stronger than what you are giving yourself credit for and it will take time, but it takes even more strength and courage. No one can give that to you, it has to come from within you. It'll take time, but you have to allow that. It won't be normal and you won't feel right for a while but in the end its worth your sanity. There will be a man that won't hurt you and will treat you in the way that you imagine. Don't settle for him just because of how long you all have been together. If he is committed to changing, this can go in another direction but I'm ill advised to give proper advise on such subject because I lack trust... I hope everything will work out in your favor. No one deserves this type of hurt and I know it's 10Xs multiplied with you expecting his child.

Emmalouise

Im sorry but once a cheat always a cheat. words are easily said. he should never of done it in the first place. i know how you feel and i know its hard! But you can do it. i used to tell myself if im not worth the truth, then this relationship doesn't exist. trust is everything. no trust no relationship. im sorry but im not going to sugar coat it because you need to think what you really need to do here. because its always going to be in the back of your mind. i hope you make the right choice here. i don't mean to come across harsh (sorry if i have) chin up girl!! Time is a healer!!

pawgio

@k_babix0 I posted another thread with where he was coming from and our whole story. There is no excuse for what he did and it's so hard to deal with these emotions while I'm pregnant, that's why I'm waiting until the baby comes, hoping things will become clear somehow..

OMFGimmaBABYDADDY

...well,

I know how guys are...uh...I just happen to be one...LOL

...2 things...

1. If you look for stuff, you'll probably find it.

Guys aren't good at covering their tracks. We like to feel desirable..& we separate sex from feelings & our short range of emotion, allows for this.

I don't know, how your relationship is with him...but...if you nag or complain...or cry or act clingy..you may as well call him a cab and send him to another woman...

...be sexy...for him..t-shirts & panties do it for me...& keep in mind that guys have to be enticed to be monogamous and we still fantasize about "Mila Kunis" or the hot receptionist at the dentists office...its what guys do..we think about "new" or different pussy...with every glance at a woman, any woman... Do your part...don't chase him away...& believe me, pregnancy has intensified your naturally "psycho" state of woman-ness...

...now, I do not condone him having a secondary relationship, if he hasn't specified to you that's what he's doing..or if he just bald-face lies to you...but, if its just some side "coochie"...while you're prego...I can understand...its not right, but I understand.

...don't let him see that you're "shook up"...ignore him physically (invest in masturbation)...but, act like everything is cool..he'll apologize for real after a while...he knows he's wrong...but, guys are dumb about sex...

I should know...LOL

&...

2. Focus on you..

He sees you as overly dependant...& if you're still gonna be with him..give him space..he'll come home more...

mandac10

My husband didn't cheat he almost cheated but I am still having problems forgiving him. Its been a hard road for us. He regrets what he almost did but our relationship has been really hard because of it. If he would've cheated I would have taken re kids and everything from him n dwcorced him. That's just me. What I hate even now is I feel I wont ever have my relationship with him back and I hate that.

Beardreams

It will never go away. You'll wish you could forget but it shatters your trust and confidence in him when he so OPENLY discussed how he was not attracted to you sexually. Men will say anything to ensure things go their way, but people dont change, his old ways will creep back after a while and he is safe in the clear, then you'll be finding more shit either through email, or text, or facebook. Best one i've had happen to me was my bf's ex gf listed under his dad's number in his cell phone

momofSOONtobe7

Hun I've read some of your stuff. I haven't had much time to read it all bc I have 6 kids to take care of. But ill tell you this, my soon to be ex husband has cheated on me, abused me, lied straight to my face and my kids. He had his fb open and I got on it and saw things I didn't want to see. Every time I talk yo him I want to cry bc im so very hurt. I still love him and its hard to get over him, and the fact he did this to me. I so badly want to pay him back for what he's done to me and my kids but I know he will get what's coming to him. Hell I still go over and clean for him to just find out he pays his ex girlfriend to come clean also for him. What a blow to the face it is. I swear I keep asking myself why I still do what I do for him and I can't answer it. When he talks to me he still tells me he loves me when we get off the phone. I say it some times but it hurts. I know im stupid for doing what I do but I know he can't take care of himself on his own. I feel bad but I can't take the pain any more. Im hurting either way and I've since moved on as well. Its just so hard to let go of the fact he did this to me but deep down there's still kind of a part I want to hold onto. Every time I think about it makes me so much worse. I know he's got another woman bc he's wanting to now rush the divorce. Before he wanted to wait and work it out. I've been hurt one to many times! Just know there are men out there that will be there for you love you and your baby and take care of you all as well. I have a wonderful man now but again my ex is still hard to get overdoes what he's done to me. Its hard to explain honestly. I know some ppl will read my post and think im stupid or this or that but idc. Until ur in my shoes they can't talk. I understand exactly where your coming from when I've read what you have posted that I could read atm. I wish you luck hun and if you need someone to talk to im here. Always remember and I keep telling myself I need yo remember this also.. everything happens for a reason! It will get better! Hugs to you.

ethansmommy122

Its gonna take a while..you'll never forget but you either need to be willing to forgive or move on. Its never easy, were here for ya! Good luck hun!!