bedroom issues *possibly TMI*

my partner and i have only been together 10 months and im now 7 months pregnant. when we got together he was VERY affectionate and was always touching me (not in a sexual way) and the sex was great, he knew that because of my previous relationship and how dismal the sex was that having a good sex life was important to me. in the first trimester i had really really bad morning sickness so sex kinda diminished to whenever i could stop myself from needing to be sick for long enough lol but as soon as it settled i wanted to get things back the way they were and he was responsive for a little while... but now that im huge it has come down to him only wanting sex when he has either had a few drinks or has had enough of listening to me ask him if he is intested. he used to be very concious of if i was satisfied and would do everything to make sure i was 'content' at the end of a session, now he couldnt care less. i know that with this huge belly im not exactly what you would call sexy, but it his daughter im carrying and i wouldnt be turned off by his body temporarily changing for something thats so wonderful.. i think this is so difficult for me to accept because he is so wonderful with everything else, he helps cook, clean, look after my son (not his child) and he really does try to be considerate of me and everything im going through. but when he doesnt even want to cuddle and turns me down for a week or so at a time (when we got together we were having sex 3-4 times daily) its very hard not to stop appreciating all the other stuff because its making me feel bad about myself... i dont know ladies... any suggestions on how i can try to improve this situation :(

Comments

  • I wish I knew but I'm almost in the same situation I'm 6m and 2 and we've been together 11 months and it just feels like he doesn't want me he jerks off all the time and never asks for it and neve tries to please me so finally I started just like attacking him I don't ask I just walk up to him and grab him or straddle him and we usually end up making love he still doesn't try to get me off like he used to but just doing it sometimes makes me feel better and then I just go take care of myself. Maybe try that? :/
  • i tried just initiating and grabbing at him to basically 'rape' him lol... but nothing... unless he wants it he just shoo's me away... i have told him that i have been taking care of business myself and now he just jokes about how he doesnt have to do it because i can do it myself. he used to get mildly annoyed if i took care of myself , now its ammusing to him :(
  • Going through the same thing. He would rather go to bed way after me, jerks it about three times a day and only asks for sex once a day during the day when my drive is low. Then my friend comes over and I see him looking at her leg's while she was walking around in shorts that barely covered her ass. They sit on the couch together and fight over video game controllers. Sometimes I just dont know why im with him. They both slept super late today and normally she is up early with me but they went to bed late. Am I just being paranoid? Then while they sit on the couch he had a pillow on his lap which he never does. Im baking and half in the room half out. What was happening under that pillow when I wasn't around? Could be nothing but these days who honestly knows. They liked each other in the past
  • @beardreams ... sounds suss to me, but i know that when we are pregnant we do tend to be more paraniod so personally would be talkin to him about it. i know things arent easy when your body doesnt look the same, but shouldnt they still be attracted to us??
  • @junebaggbabie85 sorry forgot to tag you lol
  • Lol its all good and I know you may not feel sexy but maybe try wearing some lengiere and heels and lay down in bed (so you don't have to try and walk around) and call him into the bedroom and see what happens?
  • @junebaggbabie85 hmmm might try that tonight... but i know that if he turns me when im all dressed up it will totally shatter me :(
  • @tinka1326 thank you! When I asked him later how he liked her legs he replied "pft sorry about that. I was just looking...they're so white!" all I could think was it doesn't take that long of a lingering glance to tell they're white...its so hard not being our usual size. When I was small waisted and would raise my shirt he used to get excited. I do it now and there is no response other then "hey fatty". I wish I could say I still felt sexy to him but when he doesn't even go down on me anymore you know its all changed. And I know! What is with that? If I played with myself before he would get so turned on, now he just turns over! At least no belly stretch marks yet...
  • I'm almost 9 months and we've been together for almost a year and I think I'm the problem. Our sex life was good but after my belly started growing my drive became low. Then I started to feel like I was turned off by him. Only because he wouldn't or wasn't doing anything to turn me on. I got dressed in lingerie and heels and it kind of worked but thats about it. Why does our sex drive have to change!?
  • edited August 2011
    My hubby and i are in the same situation. the thing about us, is we have a great line of communication between us. we've talked about why our sex life has dwindled and it was all cause of stress. if he is too stressed his libido dwindles and with Damien on the way and all this BS going on w/ his mom, he's under a lot of stress. that might be the problem you're having too. my suggestion is to just sit down and talk to him about it. you might be surprised what you find out.

    @tinka1326 @Junebuggbabie85 @_Kaykes
  • when i was pregnant with my son i had NO drive a all (with my ex) but this time round i want it CONSTANTLY lol arent hormones great. i have very minimal strech marks, no new ones just the ones from my previous pregnancy are a little more defined. but if he was ever dumb enough to call me fatty he would know what a fry pan around the head felt like lol im not a skinny chick normally anyway but far from overweight, im just curvy but he always said he loved that cos he doesnt like skinny chicks anyway.... *sigh* what are we going to do with these useless men
  • @tinka1326 if he turns you down for that maybe he is having problems *cough* ED *cough* also ask him if he is afraid he will hurt the baby? or why he is being that way?
  • @damiens_mommy i always thought we had good communication too and i have tried more than once to talk to him and see whats going on... but he doesnt feel there is an issue just that he is tired from work etc... but that never stopped him before, he has done the same job with the same hours the whole time we have been together. Its not like all this pregnancy stuff is new to him, he has 2 kids with his ex....
  • @junebuggbabie85 nope he has no problems there... and he has 2 kids already so he knows he wont hurt bubs, we already went over that..
  • hmmm :( well hopefully the sexy thing will work
  • Maybe he's afraid of hurting u some guys it scares them
  • @darknesofnight4u he knows it isnt painful and wont hurt bubs... Im just starting to think he doesnt find me attractive anymore :-(
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