Upset and i dont know what to do :/

ethansmommy122

Sorry its so long...

So I'm due the 10th so I've been waiting for baby dylan to pick his birthday. With a week left to go my doc told me yesterday that baby might be too big! So they send me to their other office (45 minutes away), I show up and wait 45 minutes only to be told we're sorry our tech is NOT in today!! So they send me back to my hospital (40 minutes) to a "specialist" just so I could get the ultrasound. I get there and they wanna charge me 40 copay! I told the woman I'm not paying b/c someone else screwed up and she tells me well that's not her problem either. So I go back to my regular office and demand they figure out a solution so finally they sent me to outpatient radiology and I finally got my u/s and didn't pay for a damn thing! The sonographer determines baby weighs 9 lbs 14 oz!!!! (Give or take 2 lbs) Sooo...my doc calls me and FREAKS me out saying we pretty much need to do a csec b/c if he truly is that big there's a lot of risks for baby (getting stuck, breaking bones, too much stress)...but Its my decision on what to do! I've never wanted a csec b/c it scares me...I don't wanna choose his birthday, I don't wanna know exactly when he'll be here, and I don't want my hubs to miss out on the whole birthing experience! At the same time I don't wanna put my baby in any danger! But how do they know I can't push him out? How do they know how accurate his weight is? Ughh I'm so upset/nervous/confused and I don't know what to do..any opinions or advice would be much appreciated! This has been such a long, frustrating, emotional day! Thanks ladies!

emy

Nobody can tell u wat to do, if u want a vag delivery then tell ur dr u want to give it a try. I had a c sec with my first an will b having one with this one. I will b awake an my hubby will b in there with me. Its not bad at all and much quicker. And if the baby is that big it would suck to go through labor for 10 or 20 hrs only to have to get a c sec anyway. But hun its ur birthing experience so id do wat I want to. Good luck.

Mylittleman2011

Oh man I never thought of a c-section as choosing ones birthday till just now...lol yup obvious past me by! I can see why your having issues. I wish u the best and your right the weight could be off either way but damn what a choice?? Wish I could be more help good luck with your choice.

jay_brad

Doctors are usually off on weight but I understand your concern.. I want a vaginal deliver as well n want to avoid c section!!! But sometimes we have to.make sacrifices .. I mean that's part of being a mommy.. I'm sorry you're going threw this tough discussion. I wish you the best %%-

lindseynicole96

Well, many people can deliver a very healthy, heavy baby vaginally lol. But yes, it does cause more stress on both your body and can on the babies too. I'll give you my advice on a section first: 1. Don't ever think that if you have a section, then you aren't getting the birthing experience. I hear moms everyday who feel so down and depressed because they didn't get to have a vaginal delivery(but honestly, what's so special about pushing a baby out of your vagina lol?) 2. And even in a c section, the father of the baby can be right there and they can actually stand up and watch while the baby is being pulled out and everything. They also get to be the first ones to hold the baby while you are being sown up and cleaned.
What I would do if I were in your shoes, is this: don't schedule a c section. I would just try to go into labor on my own and go to the hospital whenever you think it is time. Then, I would make sure the doctors/nurses watch the baby very closely on the monitor and at the first sign of any decelerations in the heartbeat, they go ahead and do a c-section and not even worry about trying a vaginal delivery. But, as long as the baby is handling the contractions, not in stress, and monitoring well, there shouldn't be too much of a problem delivering.
But, because the baby is larger, you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that whenever you go into labor, the baby may be in distress and you must prepare yourself mentally for an emergency c section.
It all depends on your standpoint and how you feel about each. C-sections are really no big deal, just takes a little longer to recover, otherwise it is no biggie. If you want to try a vaginal birth, I'd say go for it- as long as doctors think it is okay and as long as they will keep a VERY close eye on things. If you want to eliminate most risks and plan so there is not an emergency section, then I would go ahead and schedule one. But, remember, this is going to be the happiest day of your life no matter how it happens(: good luck to you and you baby!! (:

Ourlittlenugget

They DON'T know... lots of moms push out 10 pound babies without issue. I'm a little wary because I've seen so many docs overestimate on weight and use it as an excuse for unnecessary c-sections. They get reassurance, a predictable day "at the office" and more money - who can blame them? Still, it's surgery and has just as many risks. I wouldn't consent unless I was in the moment where my baby's life was in jeopardy, but that's just me...

dani2313

thats how big I was when I was born, my mother pushed me out just fine but then started to hemerage

ethansmommy122

@emy I know its a routine procedure but I just didn't think this was going to come to this..and if I go through w/vaginal like I wanted and my baby gets hurt I couldn't forgive myself!
@mylittleman2011 yeah its quite the dilemma! I don't want anything being planned out, I'm not God..call me dramatic but that's how I see it. If I went vaginally and he got hurt I couldn't forgive myself..I'm so confused b/c it seems like a lose lose situation for me but bottom line, as long as he's healthy that's all that matters in the end..its just stressing me out

Thanks ladies!

ethansmommy122

@dani2313 that's scary! @Jay!_Brad thanks hun! @lindseynicole96 thank u for the advice! I know once he's here none of this will matter, my doc just kinda freaked me out! @ourlittlenugget my hubs is pissed at how she handled it..he totally thinks she's jumping the gun for their convenience...I just don't wanna hurt my baby and that's how she made it sound if I tried vaginal...

jay_brad

NP keep us updated were here for you!! %%-

whozdher

My friend pushed out a 13 lb baby boy I'm sure you can do it too. If you try and you just can't get him out then c- section let him pick his date try not to worry good luck love

kelliesweeney

If there is any signs of trouble the docs should b right on top of it, ul kno after a few hours of labour if babies gonna come naturally, with me after 5 hours she didnt descend into my pelvis so had a section, so I suggest u go with what u want to do, ultra sounds can b way off so dnt let docters bully u into something u dnt want, ur babies safety shouldnt b a prob if they do their jobs properly and monitet u closely. Good luck! X

ethansmommy122

@whozdher I know its been done but every person is different..what if my pelvis isn't wide enough, what if I tear, or hemorage...I'm normally not like this but I'm freaking out, I feel so stupid @jay_brad Thanx hun i will!

ethansmommy122

@kelliesweeney good point! Thanks for the advice hun!

kelliesweeney

Ur welcome, u guys have such a hard time over tgere with doctors, we have such free will in scotland to have our births as we please.... And its free.hehe! Again hope all goes well as baby has planned n not ur doctor!

ethansmommy122

@kelliesweeney wow! Must be nice!

ethansmommy122

@homebirthadvocate Any advice for me?

[Deleted User]

You should read my posts. I would at least try being induced; has the baby descended? I labored 12 hours on pitocin (40 weeks + 4) and the baby never dropped so that was his way of saying he's too big. (He was 9 lbs 11 oz). My ob said that yea, there was a chance for the shoulder to get stuck and stuff but only like a 5% chance. He tried his best to give me a vaganial birth.
Plus late term ultrasounds are really that reliable.
I ended up having a section, but after actually trying every way I could to have a natural birth I was ok with it. I still get really sad, but you just have to remember it isn't your fault. My husband was with me every step of the way. Well, except when they prepped me for surgery.

hayz_baby

Id jus like to say@ethansmommy122 tht im a tiny gurl and gave birth to a 9lb vaginally but they didnt know he was goin to b big as i was monitored as well. My labour slowed right down when i finally got to the pushing stage he got stuck and wudnt come out i was pushing for over two hours. He was born via vontouse delivery and was pulled out of me with so much force the suction came of his head and had to be reattached. We were late told he was never going to come out he was in distress and did his first movement insidee and that the only reason we didnt have a csec is because he was too far down for one by the time the decison was made i would of hated to have a c sec but felt i needed to tell u my story. With help u can do a vag delivery if u want one jus u may have a rough ride abd be prepared to be cut x

hayz_baby

@ethansmommy122

Mythica

I know exactly what you're going through, hun. When my dr told me that my daughter was going to have head-problems and said that a c-section was best, but I could do a vag delivery if I chose (which he said would potentially cause damage to her small head and harm her further), I cried my eyes out. I didn't want a c-section! I've always dreamed of a normal birth... and everything you said was on my mind. Birthing experience, excitement of going into labor naturally, etc. But I chose to do the c-section because I didn't want to harm her, even potentially. And I'll tell you, girl... it's not as scary as it seems. Recovery is rough (trust me, I'm still at that point at 1 week pp). And it sucks SO bad not getting to be the first one to hold your baby. But your arms will be free, and you can touch him when they bring him to your face. You can still kiss his nose and feel his cheeks and breathe in his scent (though it's sorta distorted with mom's scent still on baby... lol). I'm terrified of needles and surgery and pain of any kind... so knowingly putting yourself in pain for a few weeks is a scary thing.

But I can tell you this... Once you see that baby, it's all worth it. You'll cry, and you'll be ready to hop up off of that table no matter what the doctor is doing. I can't tell you how soon you'll see baby, but I'm sure they'll bring him to you soon after you go into recovery. I didn't get to see my daughter for 8 hours, but she was sent straight to the NICU because of her problems, so you won't have to deal with that. And if you're worried (as I was) about the pain of the surgery itself and having to get the spinal (or epidural) without the pain of contractions to egg you on or distract you... let me tell you, girl. The IV insertion was the WORST part of the whole procedure (as far as physical pain goes, at least... emotional, not so much. That operating room was terrifying to look at when first entering. I cried SO damn much... lol! But don't worry... your nurses are there for you, and they don't judge if you bawl worse than your newborn will. xD lol)

mandac10

I know plenty of women that have had nine pound or bigger babies... id get a second and third op really!

ethansmommy122

@marysue yeah, she said his head was so low it was hard to get an accurate measurment. But judging from the size of his body she felt that the estimate was about right. Still could be wrong but that's my dilemma..do I try and possibly hurt him, or myself? What if they are wrong..what if he's bigger? @hayz_baby that sounds scary, I don't know how id handle that but kudos to u! I just keep going back and forth with myself... @mythica I followed ur story and I'm glad everything turned out okay!! The thing that makes it harder is I. Had my first son naturally w/o any problems what so ever! The only thing is (if they're right about the size of this baby) my first was 1/2 his size! I'm stressin so much and I keep cryin about this b/c its such a hard decision to make (for me at least), and I don't want this on my hands. Its just not natural, it shouldn't be anyones choice but babys! I just wish someone could tell me exactly what to do so I wouldn't have to guess. I'm just being a big baby! @mandac10 I know pple too but the thing is, eveyones body is structured differently, no matter what size clothes u wear everyone is different. I'm just thinking of the worst things that could happen cuz this doc scared me so much! I think I'm going to talk to another doctor today, I would most definitely like another opinion!

THANKS LADIES!!!

Ourlittlenugget

I agree with your husband, but I understand your concern too. Just don't let a doctor guilt you on imperfect measurements and concern for their malpractice premiums. Birth has risks either way you get it done, but that's why your doctors are there for you. We won't judge you whatever decision you make, but trust your body to let you know. *Prayers* for a safe delivery and Mama peace of mind. :-)

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ethansmommy122

@ourlittlenugget thank you! It shouldn't be this hard..I'm an indecisive person as is but add the hormones on top of it and woah! Im still fighting w/myself! @homebirthadvocate the fact that she focused on vaginal risks ONLY makes me mad..I just researched risks of sections and that sounds scary too! Thank u for the stats, that makes me feel a little better! And correct me if I'm wrong but if I went into labor and decided vaginal delivery, if something was going wrong they would be able to tell fairly early on correct? Or is it very possible I could be in labor for long hours and end up needing a csec anyway? Thank u for the advice! I really appreciate it, I'm still not sure what the "right" choice for me is...

Gunners_mommy

@ethansmommy122 don't let them scare u into something you do not want!

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