vasectomy please
So I was happy with one child. My hubby kept begging for another. He promised he would get a vasectomy after. So today we were talking and I brought it up and told him to schedule a consultation. Now he's refusing and saying he wants a 3rd child. He's stuck on having a son. There is no guarantee that we will end up wih a boy. I feel to old for another and simply don't want to have another PERIOD. Should I get my tubes tird since he has gone back on his word? I don't want to cause a huge issue in my marriage but this is important to me. Birth control doesn't work for me. Can't tolerate the hormones and I had the Paraguard IUD 3 times. Twice the came out on their own and once I developed inflammation in one of my tubes. I wanted to try again but my doc refused to place another. Very understandable. What now?
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I did ask about adoption but he said he doesn't think he could really love it like his own.
My husband was completely set on only having one baby, even though we'd talked about having 2 or more before we were married. I was devastated. I didn't want my daughter to be an only child. I really felt grief at the thought that she'd never have a chance to have the close relationship I have with my siblings and his change of heart was a constant source of stress in our relationship. We waited 5 years before he felt like he was ready to try for baby #2. If he had gone behind my back and gotten permanent birth control, we'd be in divorce court. So I can kind of understand where your husband is coming from.
On the other hand, I'll turn 30 the week after this baby is born and it's been so much harder this time than when I was 24. I'm exhausted and definitely done. We're on our second girl as well, and his family is really pushing us to try again, because he's the only boy. They also are not seeming to understand that you don't get to pick and I could easily have another girl and I'm not having 10 kids to get a boy.
Anyway, that's a lot of words to say, I think you both need to be on the same page before you choose permanent birth control. Try to talk about a few more times and try to stay calm. Hopefully, he sees your side!
Have you tried explaining to your husband that you don't want anymore because of your fears of resentment? Resentment can cause many issues between mother and child..