grrr.... :/
Anxiety, heartburn, nausea, constipation, sexually neglected, insomnia, back hurts, shoulders hurt, throat hurts, and hubby hogs the covers. 
Some of these are rather self explanatory, however, the anxiety is rather complex and consuming...The story of my ex.
Skipping past the beginning and fast forwarding to our son, Nathan, being born in January 2006. By this point, we had been married just over a year and I was slowly seeing that he had a temper. Within the first month, my ex was having a hard time adjusting to parenting because he didn't have the patience to understand that babies cry. As Nathan got a little older, my ex was better able to cope, but our relationship was falling apart. By the time Nathan turned 1, we were discussing divorce. Although I was not aware of it at this time, my ex had started using dating sites which he later defended saying that he was looking for people to "talk to".
We went back and forth about divorce for just over 4 years before I had had enough of his temper and belittling. No one deserves to be called a f****** b**** or watch holes be punched through doors. One of the last straws was his constant accusations and hacking my email, social networking sites, and looking through my phone while I slept. Finally, I checked his email and found out about the dating sites including sexsearch.com (I'm sure the goal of that site is just to talk). By this point, we had been stationed in California for about 6 months. It was here that I met Nick all because my ex couldn't be bothered to spend quality time with me. My ex introduced as with the intent to get me out of the house for karaoke and what not. It wasn't long before I started having feelings for Nick and being that my marriage had been over for the better part of 2 years, the thought of moving on was very easy.
Of course once my ex realized what was inevitable, he was pissed. I had him served with divorce papers in March of 2009. Nick and I continued to be the best of friends, even while he was deployed. While Nick was deployed, my ex and I were able to civilly agree on the terms of our divorce, although it took nearly 5 months to get him to sign the papers. In September 2009, I became a legally single woman again. Nick returned from his deployment and we were very much in love. He proposed and obviously I accepted, we had a lengthy engagement.
During this time, we received orders from Cali to Hawaii. My ex was dating and living with some woman he had only known for a few months (as far as I know) and her 3 kids. She was a recent divorcee as well. I informed my ex that I would be moving and the battle began. I believe his gf played a large part in this as she has custody of her 3 children and their father is no where in that picture. Our original custody agreement stated that I would have our son during the school year and he would have him during the summer breaks. He fought me on the move away and the judge decided that we would time share our child during kindergarten and make a final decision before he started first grade. (Seriously a dumb and unstable situation for a 5 year old.)
As of September 1st, my 4 & 1/2 months with our son has come to an end. Nathan is still with me until next week though because his father is still out of the country on a deployment. For the last year, my ex has refused to co-parent and both he and his gf interfere with Nathan and I's bond whenever possible. He is making my life hell when all I want is the best for our son. I had enrolled our son in an amazing preschool shortly before we had gone to court, but as soon as the new custody came into play and his time started, he pulled him out and put him in a crappy daycare. Nathan has had an amazing time these past 4 & 1/2 months and is so excited about being a big brother, it breaks my heart that he will not be here when the baby is born. I know he is excited to see his dad again, but I also know his dad doesn't give him the attention that he gets here. I'm not saying that men are incapable of being amazing parents, but my ex cannot replace me for Nathan.
Nathan is very much mommy's little boy and I can't protect him when he is not here.
I will miss his first day of kindergarten in California and because of how the timeline works out, I will miss out on Christmas AGAIN. I do not enjoy disliking people, but it is very hard for me to be understanding of how much spite my ex has for me. HE WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR MARRIAGE, there was nothing left for me to do. Falling in love with Nick was not something I had planned to do, but you can't choose who you love. I did not leave my ex for Nick, it was simply good timing as leaving had been in the cards for quite some time. He is using Nathan to get back at me, to continue to control some part of my life, and Nathan deserves so much better. I know he will someday understand how things came to be, but for now, he thinks this is all the courts doing. I hate the thought of him leaving. ( I just want to keep him here, keep him safe and happy. A summer break I can handle, but 4 & 1/2 months is so long as I've already gone through it once. I don't know what I'll do if the judge decides that he should stay with his dad for the school year...it will break my heart and Nathan's. All I can do is pray.
Some of these are rather self explanatory, however, the anxiety is rather complex and consuming...The story of my ex.
Skipping past the beginning and fast forwarding to our son, Nathan, being born in January 2006. By this point, we had been married just over a year and I was slowly seeing that he had a temper. Within the first month, my ex was having a hard time adjusting to parenting because he didn't have the patience to understand that babies cry. As Nathan got a little older, my ex was better able to cope, but our relationship was falling apart. By the time Nathan turned 1, we were discussing divorce. Although I was not aware of it at this time, my ex had started using dating sites which he later defended saying that he was looking for people to "talk to".
We went back and forth about divorce for just over 4 years before I had had enough of his temper and belittling. No one deserves to be called a f****** b**** or watch holes be punched through doors. One of the last straws was his constant accusations and hacking my email, social networking sites, and looking through my phone while I slept. Finally, I checked his email and found out about the dating sites including sexsearch.com (I'm sure the goal of that site is just to talk). By this point, we had been stationed in California for about 6 months. It was here that I met Nick all because my ex couldn't be bothered to spend quality time with me. My ex introduced as with the intent to get me out of the house for karaoke and what not. It wasn't long before I started having feelings for Nick and being that my marriage had been over for the better part of 2 years, the thought of moving on was very easy.
Of course once my ex realized what was inevitable, he was pissed. I had him served with divorce papers in March of 2009. Nick and I continued to be the best of friends, even while he was deployed. While Nick was deployed, my ex and I were able to civilly agree on the terms of our divorce, although it took nearly 5 months to get him to sign the papers. In September 2009, I became a legally single woman again. Nick returned from his deployment and we were very much in love. He proposed and obviously I accepted, we had a lengthy engagement.
During this time, we received orders from Cali to Hawaii. My ex was dating and living with some woman he had only known for a few months (as far as I know) and her 3 kids. She was a recent divorcee as well. I informed my ex that I would be moving and the battle began. I believe his gf played a large part in this as she has custody of her 3 children and their father is no where in that picture. Our original custody agreement stated that I would have our son during the school year and he would have him during the summer breaks. He fought me on the move away and the judge decided that we would time share our child during kindergarten and make a final decision before he started first grade. (Seriously a dumb and unstable situation for a 5 year old.)
As of September 1st, my 4 & 1/2 months with our son has come to an end. Nathan is still with me until next week though because his father is still out of the country on a deployment. For the last year, my ex has refused to co-parent and both he and his gf interfere with Nathan and I's bond whenever possible. He is making my life hell when all I want is the best for our son. I had enrolled our son in an amazing preschool shortly before we had gone to court, but as soon as the new custody came into play and his time started, he pulled him out and put him in a crappy daycare. Nathan has had an amazing time these past 4 & 1/2 months and is so excited about being a big brother, it breaks my heart that he will not be here when the baby is born. I know he is excited to see his dad again, but I also know his dad doesn't give him the attention that he gets here. I'm not saying that men are incapable of being amazing parents, but my ex cannot replace me for Nathan.
Nathan is very much mommy's little boy and I can't protect him when he is not here.
I will miss his first day of kindergarten in California and because of how the timeline works out, I will miss out on Christmas AGAIN. I do not enjoy disliking people, but it is very hard for me to be understanding of how much spite my ex has for me. HE WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR MARRIAGE, there was nothing left for me to do. Falling in love with Nick was not something I had planned to do, but you can't choose who you love. I did not leave my ex for Nick, it was simply good timing as leaving had been in the cards for quite some time. He is using Nathan to get back at me, to continue to control some part of my life, and Nathan deserves so much better. I know he will someday understand how things came to be, but for now, he thinks this is all the courts doing. I hate the thought of him leaving. ( I just want to keep him here, keep him safe and happy. A summer break I can handle, but 4 & 1/2 months is so long as I've already gone through it once. I don't know what I'll do if the judge decides that he should stay with his dad for the school year...it will break my heart and Nathan's. All I can do is pray.
Comments
My only advice (even though your not asking) is to research the schools in your area and your ex's. I consulted with a lawyer during a serious rough patch regarding moving out of state and she informed me it would be helpful to have statistics. Such as place A has better schools with 80% reading rate graduation rate versus place B having a 73% for same things (just using those numbers as example). Hopefully the judge will take something like that into consideration as well as the importance of Nathan being with and bonding with his new sibling.