Getting closer and harder to deal with....(mini vent)

MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
edited September 2011 in Loss
Its getting closer and closer to my due date and I know that I dont get to bring a baby home. I know that I dont even get to experience labor. I know my time will come, and Im waiting for that day as patiently as I can but being 20 and having 2 miscarriages is just making me want my little bundle even more. And having lots of friends pregnant or having their babies kinda I guess makes me sad and a bit jealous....(but Im only human). Also, living with someone and being mommy to her kids doesnt help either. I have the 4 year old all the time, I lived with her before and raised him from 6 months to 2 years and he called me mommy and now were almost at that point again, except he knows who his mom is now....

Okay, mini vent over. I just needed to get it out. Thank You for reading.

Comments

  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    And I forgot to add, that because I have him all the time its making it hard for me to get a job and move out..... :(
  • Rl25Rl25
    i can definitely relate to you, i just had a miscarriage in NOvember, ended up getting pregnant after my first period and am now 39 + 4 and just want him to be here. It seems like everyone i knows babies are coming before their due date but my little man is sticking it out. And i just get so paranoid that something will happen.
  • Mylittleman2011Mylittleman2011
    I'm sorry about your loss and the day that's coming up :(
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @Rl25 Aww your so close! and Im sorry for your loss. I just want my day to come so badly that I upset myself...

    @Mylittleman2011 Thank You
  • Rl25Rl25
    @mommyofangels well try not to upset yourself it's not good for baby, just think about the little love that will be in your arms soon enough.
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @Rl25 Oh, no no Im not pregnant, I miscarried in Febuary and the due date for the baby I lost is coming up.
  • Rl25Rl25
    @mommyofangels oh my goodness I AM SO SORRY, i feel horrible i definitely read that wrong. I am so so sorry, it is a hard feeling. BUt you have to know everything happens for a reason, we may never understand the reason, but we will always love the little one we lost, and they know that and they are always with us.
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @Rl25 Your alright :) It can easily be read wrong. I know I will always love both my angels, and that everything happens for a reason. Im just waiting for that to happen in reverse and end in happyness.
  • Rl25Rl25
    @mommyofangels and it will! you will get your blessing, mine came as a huge surprise (we had sex once). Just don't lose hope, and your little angels are going to be rooting for you and helping you too!
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @Rl25 Ill never lose hope! I know I was born to be a mommy. I recently got back with my ex fiance (we took a little break) and he is still talking about trying to start a family, so maybe soon. :)
  • Rl25Rl25
    @mommyofangels well i'll be cheering for you, hopefully you two make it happen! I feel like i was just born to be a mommy too, it's strange. :)
  • armywife0529armywife0529
    I'm sorry. I had a miscarriage in February 2010 and it was really upsetting for me when my due date came.
  • IttybittyIttybitty
    ur back with him? since when? did I miss something?
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @Rl25 Aww thanks :) lol, its weird because he is the one that asked me if we could try, he told me hes ready to be a daddy and if Im okay with it he wants to get me pregnant... his exact words lol. Ive always loved babies and I am sooo good with them.
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @armywife0529 Thank You and Im sorry for your loss, it has really been getting to me....

    @Ittybitty I just recently got back with him, I want to say about 2 weeks ago. And what happened was a complete misunderstanding and mess up on my part and facebooks part.... His phone was shut off and his computer crashed, so he had no way to talk to me and his dad is an ass and wouldnt let him on his parents computer to talk to me... so he had his mom send me a message on facebook explaining what happened and I never got the notification for that message, so it has been in my inbox forever now and I didnt know :( We have actually been talking since June (right after I said it was over) and just recently got back together....
  • IttybittyIttybitty
    uhmhm.. gotcha :)
    well good luck :) :) :)
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @Ittybitty Thank You :) And how are you doing?
  • IttybittyIttybitty
    good.. Ryleigh is a handful but id b lost without her.. Im ready to go back to work but im not sure im ready to leave her for along periods at a time
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    edited September 2011
    @Ittybitty Aww I bet, would they let you go back like half days to start with? and I love how you spelled her name :) its so cute
  • Rl25Rl25
    @mommyofangels it's a good feeling justk nowing, i love kids too i used to be a preschool teacher and it was my favorite job ever. And sounds like you have a good man next to you!
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @Rl25 It is a wonderful feeling :) and yes he is a good (young) man lol but hes working hard to get a new job and get out of his parents house, hes either moving in with me or were going to get a house down there, either way if Im with him Ill be happy.
  • IttybittyIttybitty
    I dont have a job to go back too. they fired me in feb. im on unemployment right now so im just spending time with her before I get a new one..
    thanks :) ive seen it spelled so many ways
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @tiff87124 Oh, I forgot I didnt share. He refused the plane ticket to come here on, and then he deleted me from face book and ignored me and didnt explain anything or talk to me for a week.....

    @Ittybitty Thats crappy they fired you, but good you get to spend time her :)
  • MommyofAngelsMommyofAngels
    @tiff87124 Thank You, I think right now he has more important things to worry about. (getting his life back on track and his daughter)
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