Kids' First Visitation With My Ex *Update* 9/24

FateFate
edited September 2011 in Parenting
I'm so irritated. Which isn't like me at all! He didn't tell me he was flying home today, I have no idea when his flight lands, or where he plans on staying. He's not staying with me, I can say that much! His sister texted me and asked if I have heard from him in the last two days. I said his last text was on Sept 16th. I'm terribly nervous, not just for me, but for my 3 girls as well. I've never had to go through this. :( :scared:
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Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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  • FateFate
    @Mama_Kat Have you done this with your kids? If so, how'd first visitation go? Men!
  • bettybetty
    Oh my.... Maybe his there to apologize? Stay strong, NEVER loose sight of your girls.. His probably already missing yall after all his mess and realizes what his done wasnt worth it!! Let him start a conversation. You act like nothing when you see him, make him hurt! Its his turn to get his feelings hurt, if he has any feelings.. Gods with you my lub!! Its your time to shine!!
  • mgrosemgrose
    Sorry hun! Its usually really awkward and u end up with a mix of emotions, but as time goes on it gets easier!
  • FateFate
    @betty He asked me 3 days ago if we could work things out. I said no. I can't bear to live without trust. He has me so messed up... I know he realizes now that he messed up, but he already ripped my heart out. Why promise me that he won't ever do it again, AFTER I leave? Why wouldn't he say it when I was still there and I was willing to try? I'm so messed up!
  • FateFate
    @mgrose Thank you. I hope it does get easier. :(
  • mgrosemgrose
    I promise u it does! I left my ex 13 years ago and it used to be hard when he would pick up our son n stuff, I used to cry n he always begged to come back, n told me he wouldn't do this or that anymore.....well I knew better in my heart, I knew he would be the same! But now I look @ him with no emotion,and most of the time I am like omg what was I thinking lol our son is 15 now so I hardly have to see him but when I do, its ok I kinda giggle to myself ...he just moved outta his parents house@ 34 lol
  • FateFate
    Lmao!!!!!!!!!! @mgrose You literally made some sunshine in my day with that last sentence! I'm still laughinggggg!
  • emyemy
    Good luck hun
  • PinkigirlPinkigirl
    It will get easier. Promise. I would have him only visit the girls where you can watch. Without a court schedual, he can take off with them & no one can dui a thing about it. My ex tried that & brought him back 5 hrs later. He said it was toteach me a lesson, he can just go whenever he wants. Be careful! Lots of prayers
  • FateFate
    @emy Thanks girl! :x

    @Pinkigirl I know he wouldn't do that. Lol. He has an amazing job, and would never do anything to the kids like that. He knows they would be miserable without me. He did me wrong, but I'm not gonna set limits about his kids. :) Thank you though, I did make a scenario in my head, and glad I did. :)
  • ciceliacicelia
    @Fate I am thinking about you and your sweet girls today. They need time w/daddy and I am so proud of you for doing whats best for them, even though it is akward and emotional painful for you. You are such an awesome momma. Just take a deep breathe, remember what you KNOW in your heart and allow those emotions you get to come and go. After all this man gave you 3 beautiful girls and lots of years, you WILL have emotions to that. But he has also hurt you tremendously, so you'll have other emotions over that! But, you are a strong, independent, smart, beautiful, amazing woman and mother and YOU can do ANYTHING :) When its hard to get through each of these steps just smile and tell yourself that. :) Luv ya!
  • MollyMolly
    You are so strong! Best of luck to you today. :)
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  • pawgiopawgio
    Good luck :-) you've come so far already! Things will be alright :-)
  • FateFate
    It took so much courage to leave him, and now he's rushing back? Ugh! I'm gonna have to use the last bit of my strength for this. :( Thanks so much ladies. You're all absolutely, positively the BEST support I could ever ask for! :x
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  • 5lilangels5lilangels
    Thinking about you and your girls. Just remember to breathe. Take it one day at a time. Love ya. Keep me posted
  • MollyMolly
    Hey @Fate, how did it go today?
  • FateFate
    edited September 2011
    @5lilangels You're always so thoughtful of me. I appreciate it so much! :x

    @Molly It's 7:30pm here, he hasn't shown up as of yet... But I have no idea when his flight departed or landed (if it has yet). I kinda feel like he's sneaking up on me... :-S
  • Proudmommy8789Proudmommy8789
    oh sweetie good luck! itll be good for your girls. let me know how it goes
  • FateFate
    @Proudmommy8789 I will. I'll tag you if he even shows up. I know my two oldest girls miss him a lot. :(
  • Proudmommy8789Proudmommy8789
    yeah i bet. its hard on children but as long as you guys stay nutrual(sp) and not say bad things about each other. they will get used to it. my mother used to talk alot of crap about my dad and we never saw him only once in while(im talking about years). but i know some of the stuff are lies. LMAO my mom swears she was in the army!! which she NEVER was! she believes her own lies!!
  • MythicaMythica
    @Pinkigirl What are some signs or signals that dad might take off with baby? I'm terrified that my ex will take off with my daughter... :( Granted, if he does, I can file kidnapping cuz there's no proof that he's the father (aside from the fact that she looks like him and my word, of course. No legal proof.)... but it wouldn't change the trauma it would cause me if he were to.
  • FateFate
    He's on his way here. :( T-2 hours.

    Lord, help me and bless me with more strength. Keep my daughters safe and HAPPY. Guide my heart away from him, and give both of us peace from eachother. Let him leave with no guilt about me and our situation. Forgive his sin, as well as help me to forgive. Help him to forgive himself. I thank you for the light you've shown me, so that I can raise my children in a healthy home. In Father's name, amen.
  • Mrs4cMrs4c
    [-O< [-O< [-O< Lord, hear her prayers!! Lifting you up in my prayers!
  • CristinaLynnCristinaLynn
    Good luck!! I know you'll do just fine and everything will go smoothly. :-)
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  • Alwayzbeenurz2008Alwayzbeenurz2008
    Hope everything goes okay!
  • natashalynnnatashalynn
    Amen. Good luck. Let me know how it goes!
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