Advice, family drama. Please help, I'm extremely stressed and overwhelmed *Update*

usafwife_21

My mother and grandmother hate my MIL for things that happened a year ago. I called my mom about the baby shower and told her that my husband could get this one place for all day for 50 dollars. Lots of space, lots of tables and chairs, and a kitchen that was remodeled the last year. We get a discount because he worked there. I also said that his MIL would bring some food and stuff.. Well, my mother thinks that they should have seperate showers.. However, my husbands sister is enlisting in the Army and leaves Nov. 6 (this and the baby shower are why we came home). So I dont see a reason why we cant just have them together... NOTE: its mainly my mom who is being mean

I really dont know what to do... I mean is it just me, or is it childish that they cant even get along for 4 hours out of one day? I dont even want to go home anymore... I really dont... I'm extremely stressed and people dont seem to understand thats not okay for me. I'm thinking about doing it myself.... But I don't want to burn bridges with my mother and grandma because I dont want to fight the whole time. Should I just tell my MIL? I mean what am I supposed to say? I really need advice ladies! I'm looking for a semi peaceful resolution that puts as little stress on me and my husband as possible.

This is all taking its toll on me... I mean honestly, there are a LOT of moments where I wish I could just disappear and not exist. I'm extremely depressed and I dont know whats hormones and whats actual depression.. I just want a way out of this mess!!!!

Update:: So, my MIL wanted to throw my husband a diaper party, so I said we should just do it all at once that way his sister gets to be a part of one before she leaves. My family one will be after she leaves most likely. So we are doing seperate ones. Me and my mom fought a lot and I made her cry.... I dont know why she was being stubborn and I was holding a lot back and being as calm as possible! But I think its all settled down now. I just hope they accept that the fight from today is over and dont bring up about how I wanted a joint shower again. My mother absolutely would not budge at all, and said I was ruining it for her. So yeah. We will see what happens I guess. I officially hate my life though! thank god we lucked out with my MIL wanting to throw my husband a diaper party... A few more people wont hurt lol his side isnt nearly as big as mine! I just pray for peace somehow!

caroline8_p

Trick your family. Just say your MIL wontt be there and leave it aat that.

usafwife_21

@caroline8_p I would.... but that would end horribly. My mom snaps extremely fast and she would without a doubt start yelling at them... Even at the shower... Its all so complicated

Junebuggbabie85

Just straight up tell them they are stressing yyoouu out and this i's your day not theres and they need to grow up and act like adults for a few hours and enjoy the baby shower because it's about you and baby and yyoouu are not bending it to their childish will. You've got to be tough or they will keep stressing you out could endanger baby

usafwife_21

@junebuggbabie85 Last time I "talked back" to my mom she flipped out and I was taking sides and abandoning her.... I told her she was stressing me out, politely, and she told me I didnt know sh*t about stress.... then she didnt talk to me for a week :-| why are people so difficult???

momma_erica

Sound like ur mom is irrational & selfish, not trying to be mean. Just tell her nicely that this is supposed to be for u & ur hubby & baby not her & could she please do this for u. Or maybe get ur grandma to talk to her for u

usafwife_21

@momma_erica its okay lol she can be. I mean its a lot of drama and I understand why she doesnt like her, hell I didnt like her for a long time, but now I'm civil! My grandma is actually kind of worse... They are both really bad Its hereditary I think lol my sister is like this to! Luckily I take after my dad! I know if I tell her that then shes gonna say I can pay for it and she wont help me out with the stuff and blah blah... IDK why they just cant be happy I'm coming home

1stWoodsBaby

My mom and my grandmother (mom's MIL) do not get along at all.. and never have.. but they've gotten to the point that they can be civil at family functions. They just both know to not go around each other or talk to each other. I think you should have them together.. if they can't get along for the baby's sake then poo on them. Just explain to them to not go around each other and don't talk to each other.

pawgio

My mom can be immature like that too, so sometimes I treat her like a kid, I would tell her if she can't be civil for a few hours for me at my shower then she isn't welcome there

usafwife_21

@1stwoodsbaby I wish mine were like that!!! I wish that they would focus on the baby more and just be civil for me! I dont even wanna know how its going to be when the baby actually comes

@pawgio I hope it doesnt come down to that, but it might! She wants to plan the shower, she says its not my job. And they probably wouldnt give me addresses of family members if they get mad at me! But I feel like with all the drama I need to take control, just dont know how!

Junebuggbabie85

Ughh that really sucks hun I hope everything works out for you

usafwife_21

@junebuggbabie85 its okay lol Ill just have to suck it up and deal with it! Thank you!!!!!

Junebuggbabie85

They should have a super nanny for moms lol she could come in and whip those crazy moms and mils into shape!

usafwife_21

@junebuddbabie85 lol yeah that would be amazing!!!! I wish someone else would come in lol I hate being in the middle!!!! Ill put an add out on craigts list!

Junebuggbabie85

Lol if your family was in texas i would come in and Give them the big what for

usafwife_21

@junebuggbabie85 lol that would definitely be a day saver! ^:)^ If only hahahahaha

lae3

Tell your mom she needs to set aside her feelings for the day.. For you and for her unborn grandchild.. If she cant hold it together she doesnt need to come.. But also express to her how important it is too you.. Also if shr insists on another shower is she going to Foot the bill and do all the planning.. Its not that easy to do.. Sorry ur mom is being unreasonable good luck

usafwife_21

@lae3 yeah my mom wanted to do all the planning and wants to pay for it. Thats why she doesnt want my MIL there. I mean obviously Ill help and stuff but she likes this stuff! thanks for the advice and for listening!

lae3

aww no problem ;-)

Mom2McKenna

Honestly I would March over there and give him a piece of my mind but the best thing to do would be to call the police or animal control and report animal abuse its against the law and he should be fined! Get the cat checked she may have a bad infection they will need to take the pellet out for her to heal properly