Really???????
So I really don't know where to place this story but I guess loss is the best. I know some of you have fallowed my story, I lost my son Caleb @ 21 weeks on June 10, 2011.
Here is my story, My fiance and I have been actively ttc and are currently on the 2ww AF is suppose to show today. I am sitting at home last night just chilling by myself while the Mike was out hanging with his best buddy. My ex husband calls me out of the blue and asks if we can talk. My heart drops already, thinking about his mother, shes 78 and she lives with him do to medical reasons. He gets here waits about 5 minutes and then says words to me I still can't swallow. " Sara's pregnant!" Sara's his new girlfriend, My old best friend from high school. They've been together a year less then me and Mike. Its never really bugged me that they are together, but what brakes me apart inside is that my ex and I tried for 7 years, and 2 mc and never where able to have kids. When we were together we wanted a child so badly, and when it looked like we couldn't we even tried to adopt a little girl who were cared for for about 2 years and the adoption fell through. We broke up about 4 months after that. Sara his gf got pregnant last yr with her ex's baby right before getting together with my ex, at about 12w and only being with my ex for a few short weeks decides to get an abortion. She goes through with it and then starts telling people that she is finally happy she got with my ex. She's wanted him since high school when we all use to hang out, Sara and I don't talk anymore because of this. I'm just at a loss, I have no words of comfort for myself yet alone try to be a good friend to my ex.
How can my son be taken from me with no warning signs nothing and not have a chance, she kills her baby because the baby's father isn't who she wants it to be and now gets a one in a million chance of having my ex's child. My ex doesn't want this baby, she does as far as I know. A few months ago they thought Sara was pregnant and wasn't but she kept talking about it since then with my ex, who flat out told her I'm going to be selfish and finish school I don't want to get married/have kids/ move in together etc. If you can't handle that then this isn't going to work.
I keep thinking to myself its so unfair, he doesn't want a child even with me explaining his blessing with her, I want a child- my was taken from me and she gets one-after to kills one for no actual health reasons. ughh I hate feeling this way, I'm not mad at women who are pregnant or who have children, I'm past that part of my grieving.
No, my biggest issue is that AF is suppose to come today for the last few weeks I've been hoping and praying she doesn't I need a light at the end of my tunnel, but now after last night I want her to show her ugly face. I don't want to be pregnant along side with Sara, I don't want our children to be born within weeks of each other. I do hope with every ounce of my being that what ever higher power decided to let her have the blessing of getting pregnant again "one in a million chance" has a extremely good reason or I might just loose my mind completely.
I told my ex I wouldn't say anything to anyone but I know you preglys are the best women I know and I need a place to vent. Thank you all for reading my story.
Here is my story, My fiance and I have been actively ttc and are currently on the 2ww AF is suppose to show today. I am sitting at home last night just chilling by myself while the Mike was out hanging with his best buddy. My ex husband calls me out of the blue and asks if we can talk. My heart drops already, thinking about his mother, shes 78 and she lives with him do to medical reasons. He gets here waits about 5 minutes and then says words to me I still can't swallow. " Sara's pregnant!" Sara's his new girlfriend, My old best friend from high school. They've been together a year less then me and Mike. Its never really bugged me that they are together, but what brakes me apart inside is that my ex and I tried for 7 years, and 2 mc and never where able to have kids. When we were together we wanted a child so badly, and when it looked like we couldn't we even tried to adopt a little girl who were cared for for about 2 years and the adoption fell through. We broke up about 4 months after that. Sara his gf got pregnant last yr with her ex's baby right before getting together with my ex, at about 12w and only being with my ex for a few short weeks decides to get an abortion. She goes through with it and then starts telling people that she is finally happy she got with my ex. She's wanted him since high school when we all use to hang out, Sara and I don't talk anymore because of this. I'm just at a loss, I have no words of comfort for myself yet alone try to be a good friend to my ex.
How can my son be taken from me with no warning signs nothing and not have a chance, she kills her baby because the baby's father isn't who she wants it to be and now gets a one in a million chance of having my ex's child. My ex doesn't want this baby, she does as far as I know. A few months ago they thought Sara was pregnant and wasn't but she kept talking about it since then with my ex, who flat out told her I'm going to be selfish and finish school I don't want to get married/have kids/ move in together etc. If you can't handle that then this isn't going to work.
I keep thinking to myself its so unfair, he doesn't want a child even with me explaining his blessing with her, I want a child- my was taken from me and she gets one-after to kills one for no actual health reasons. ughh I hate feeling this way, I'm not mad at women who are pregnant or who have children, I'm past that part of my grieving.
No, my biggest issue is that AF is suppose to come today for the last few weeks I've been hoping and praying she doesn't I need a light at the end of my tunnel, but now after last night I want her to show her ugly face. I don't want to be pregnant along side with Sara, I don't want our children to be born within weeks of each other. I do hope with every ounce of my being that what ever higher power decided to let her have the blessing of getting pregnant again "one in a million chance" has a extremely good reason or I might just loose my mind completely.
I told my ex I wouldn't say anything to anyone but I know you preglys are the best women I know and I need a place to vent. Thank you all for reading my story.
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