unattached to the baby?

BeAwesome

I'm 37 weeks now...this is hard for me to talk about but I really need to.

No matter how hard I try, I find myself fighting really heavy feelings of unattachment to this unborn baby. (it is not depression related) It seems like I will reject it and will not want to hold the baby or even be near it after I give birth. Everyone says that it wont happen, that I will fall in love with it, but I just don't think that I can feel that way, it seems too strong and certain, even though I WANT to love this baby so much. I feel like a horrible person for being like this, I really do.

I'm wondering if anyone is dealing with similar feelings? Or if they had these feelings and they did/didn't go away after the baby was born?

1stWoodsBaby

Any ideas why you are feeling this way?
I don't have a great connection with my unborn either.. I don't talk to it or poke at it or anything like that. But I think once she gets here I'll have a connection with her.

brodysmamma

Have you talked to your Dr they might be able to give you advice? Could you be feeling this way because of a situation you are in?

bigtalkingtori

I feel like that sometimes, too. Mine is more rooted from depression, though. I'm hopeful things will turn out well. Idk where it's rooted from. I think i'm just afraid i'll be like my parents or something. Some people say you fall in love in an instant when you see them, but i can see how you can grow to love them, too. I'm sorry you aren't feeling like you're attached already. =/

Proudmomma

When you go through labor and you finally get to see that baby it will change. I had an issue where I felt unattached cause I didn't want my oldest to feel unloved but that's gone. It really helps to talk about it. I'm here if you need someone to talk to

Kingsmama

Ur having normal feeling hun. U haven't met the baby yet so not being attatched can be common. I rarely talked to ky son or poked at him or anything while pregnant. I was overcome with so much love when I 1st seen his lil face and now I miss small things about being pregnant like when he's got the hiccups. Some women after they give birth can go in a comatose like state where they have no connection to the baby at all. They don't cry or smile and they don't wanna hold the baby either. This is more common than ppl think. Nobody will think ur a bad mom if u react that way after delivering either. Those emotions of love will hit u before u leave the hospital tho, and if they don't and u still want no atachment to baby before u go home ask to speak with a grief counciler. They see ppl in ur situation all the time hun. Tell them before u deliver tho about ur feelings so they don't push boundries ur uncomfortable with such as laying baby on ur chest when its born. If u want them to just take the baby away for a bit 1st then tell them and they will do it. Just tell them about it so they know. And don't feel like ur a bad mom cuz ur not hun its very very normal to feel the way u do

BeAwesome

@1stwoodsbaby @samantha My husband and me have grown apart when I was around 6-7 months, and we're really just good friends now rather than in a loving relationship. It has affected me of course, but before all that happened I still had these feelings. Finding out I was pregnant was

@kingsmama I think I'll have to tell them that, thank you. But I hope it doesn't end up being that way.

BeAwesome

Finding out I was pregnant was a let down because I didn't feel like I expected I would, even though I wanted to start a family so badly. **

lae3

try not to feel bad about it.. i have been that way with all my pregnancies.. its almost like a denile for me though.. not deppression.. i refer to him as the baby.. the rest of the family refers to him by his name.. not to say i dont love him yet.. almost like a protection.. but when my kids are born i do feel that automatic love and bond.. but not everyone does.. just keep in mind talking about it with a dr. would be good.. and the fact that your aware of it is good.. if you still feel unbonded after the babies born. .you should seek help.. motherhood and pregnancy is not all roses and daisys.. good luck .. and keep in mind.. your feelings are normal.. we all deal with situations differently.. and actually the fact that you have a lil guilt means you do care for your baby.. :X and your already thinking about there wellbeing

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Babymamma18

I was the exact way. 2 days before I gave birth the dr told me iv was being induced. My mind flipped out. I was crying like I dont know if im ready to have a baby! What if I dont love her?!?! And I was crying n crying n crying. Then going to the hospital I was getting so amxiest and excited through labor I was sooo excited. Then when it was time to push I was crying cause all these emotions were filling my mind up. I started crying when I was pushing cuz I was sooo ready and already in love. Then when I saw her. It just hit me. Like wow I lovee her.


So my point is. I feel like its completely normal. Everyone gets nervohs. Its a huge new chapter in ur life. Ull take it with stride. Ur gunnna be dine. Keep your head up.

natashalynn

I had a few weeks when pregnant where I considered adoption cause I felt zero attachment to my belly or who was in it. I cried many nights cause I felt no love for it. It was a scary and hard time. When my daughter was born I didn't feel that immediate bond or love. It took weeks for me to love her.

You're not alone, you're not unusual.
Sending you my love & a virtual hug.

sunshinelove

I felt the same way part of the time. It does go away! I promise! Once you see baby for the first time, its magic, you will love it!

Leggs2011

I feel the same way at times. My husband deploys not even a week after my due date. I'm afraid I may avoid playing with the baby b.c. id rather not experience all the new things alone. I sleep so much b.c. I am sad my husband is leaving soon. Like its 2:13 and I just woke up.