So sad :(

stbmilitarybrat

So I'm home in PA after a fight with my bf. Friday night he threatened to kill me and my mom and was detained by the police. I filed a complaint for domestic abuse and child endangerment because of his actions, packed my things while he was gone, and left with our then 8 day old son. I have never been so scared in my entire life. He even called his father during the fight to tell him he was going to kill me but he never actually laid a hand on me. I know me leaving was the right thing to do but I am so depressed it's not even funny. I have noone to talk to about it. I want to go back so bad. I miss him. I miss our family. I don't want my son to not have his daddy in his life. He is deploying again next year so he is definitely going to miss those nine months and it just sucks he has to miss these first few months as well. We talked and he agreed to go to counseling. I hope he gets better and we can work this out eventually, it just sucks he lives 13hrs away. Would it be wrong if I flew down to visit in like a month or two so he can see our son? He really is a great guy and I know alcohol had a lot to do with it. Not that it justifies it but I feel like if he is sober then my son and I won't be in any danger if we go down. Has anyone been a victim once and then it never happened again or does it always just get worse? I am by no means running back but I would like to hopefully work it out. (

heyitsme

If it happened once, most likely it will happen again. And next time you might get hurt. Sorry

jules

I want it to work out for you but you really need think about whats best for you and the baby. And if he feels bad about it at all he will get in contact with you and try to work things out and if he cares about kids kid he will make the drive our flight to see you guys I wouldn't waste my time and money unless he shows a good change.and I agree with @heyitstime if out happens once it will happen again which is very dangerous

reemama

Yes hun. It may just continue sadly, I've been threw it and it just got worse.. but then again he will only change If he really wants to.. I say give it time let him realize some more

smcox

Unfortunately usually if they do it once they will do it again. He's not gonna change unless he wants to. There is nothing you can do to help him! you need to put the safety of you and baby first! make him prove something first! he needs to have shown change in his actions for a long time. It's very easy to fall back into bad habits, if he's only showing change for the better for a few months....I wouldn't trust him just yet. And just cuz he said or did things cuz he was drunk doesn't make it any better... Cuz it can/will happen again. Good luck and stand your ground! No matter how many promises or apologies he offers.

stbmilitarybrat

Yeah, I figured I have been asking him to get help bc he has served two tours in Iraq and I think he suffers from PTSD but he has called and apologized and told me he is actually going to go get help. I hate that it had to come to this for him to finally go but I feel like maybe it was a wake up call and he now realizes how bad he needs it. Asking him to come up here is a good idea though! I'm standing my ground but this is seriously the hardest thing ever. I never saw this coming and it all happened so fast. We finally had our family and we were both the happiest ev then within a few hours it was ripped to shreds. Wah, this sucks. Thank you all for replying, it means a lot. I feel so alone.

baybee1aug10

Sweetie, being with someone with PTSD is very difficult. My husband deals with it from his tours in Iraq as well. He never went to counseling until he punched me in the face and choked me. However he was asleep when this happened and it tore him up when he found out what he did. Im not giving your bf any excuses I'm just simply saying PTSD is a serious thing and can affect people in many different ways. My husband went right away to counsel and is on meds and hasnt had a flashback or anything since. Im so sorry this has happened to you but Id take some time away for him to get help and back on track if hes willing to get the help to make sure his family is safe.

BeAwesome

I'm so sorry you're going through that. My husband wont ever be the same because of the army. Be strong.

stbmilitarybrat

Yeah, the army and deployments freaking stink. I am going to school for Psychology and want to specialize in PTSD and family counseling bc I've seen first hand the effects of it... I wish my bf didn't have so much pride. I just want my family back!! ( I know this is for the best though.