does any1 have jelousy issues?

lilmomma070811

I seem to be a very jelous person i guess (so says my husband).I dont really see it as jelousy more as being disrespected by my husband..he is really into other girls like he cant help but stare..hes 25 and seems like a 16yr old when it comes to girls and porn.which he knows now that porn is Not allowed in this house! But im so frustrated by this we have been together 6yrs married for 2.5 and its always been an issue,we have actually split a few times over it.Im just looking for input and maybe some 1 to relate to..I mostly feel like if hes going to watch porn and get off to another girl he may as well be cheating,if she were here hed be screwin her right?? And if hes happy with me and thinks im sexy why keep looking?? Sorry any suggestions or input?

ashes

I get the same feelings. I don't live with my bf but it really hurt my feelings one night when he urged me to leave early and I know it was becaude he wanted to watch porn, since I wasn't feeling well and told him I didn't want to have sex.

It does hurt I get jealous sometimes when he gets posts on his wall from girls I don't know, because he's had a couple ex-flings post that they miss him etc after he changed to "in a relationship"
Nearly every relationship I've ever known with people around our age has ended up with someone cheating. I am not and never will be a cheater, because I have been cheated on before... I just don't want to be the prego chick like 8months pregnant whose boyfriend/baby daddy is fooling around because he can't get enough

lilmomma070811

Yea its not kool i mean he knows better than to talk to other girls and i done a good job at getting rid of all the exs long ago lol i just hate him even fantasizing about other women.its time to Grow up! Id like to have a mans input on this situation....so how old are you and how long have yall been together? You might need to get him in check real quick! My friend has been with her bf for 12years shes about a year or 2 older than me like 25 i think..but they have 3 kids the youngest 15months and he has cheated on her the whole 12years up until she was 8months pregnant with #3!!she lets him talk to other girls and look at porn and i believe him having freedom is why he did it.

MiracleM2B

Wow, he is definitely in the wrong.
Is he worth the heartache? /:

LillieBug

I have a very trustworthy husband. The only thing is he has the sex drive of a 15 year old and he's 26. Sometimes if he wont stop bugging me to as he says fool around I do tell him to just turn the computer and get it over with

VictoriaB

I had an ex who cheated on me with this really gross chick. He was also still in love with his ex who was a nasty junkie skank. He often stared at other girls and commented on them right in front of me. I got super jealous after I found out he cheated and I was suspicious of him all the time. It was so miserable for me to think, "what if he's late because he's with another girl?" Or "what if I walk inside our apartment and he's doing another girl in my bed?" Eventually, I left him for the man I would later marry and I've never been happier. My husband watches porn on occasion, but he knows I'm the best thing to ever happen to him (I'm super cocky, if you couldn't tell but so is he!) and my husband would never cheat on me.

lilmomma070811

I kinda feel bad i wish i could tell him to turn on the computer and do it without me getting pissed off lol bc i dont have sex drive..i mean he has plenty of pre-pregnancy pics of me just for this pupose..i dont like him having them but they are to make me feel more secure and he doesnt use them.its something about other women..we are christian people and he knows lusting is sin but for some reason it doesnt cross his mind when theres a half naked chik on the screen.i can trust him to the point of going out and cheating i Know he wont but the lust and being attracted to otherr women bothers me and sneakin around watching porn Really turns me off!!

lilmomma070811

I have tried to just get over it bc in the begining of our relationship i wasnt bothered by it but i got cervical cancer and had to have surgery and he started sneaking around with porn.and ever since then i have had jelousy issues.i know i turn him on and i feel bad bc he tries everyday and usually only gets any like once a week if that i just dunno what to do..i feel like my words make him look bad.its just a porn thing hes a really good hubby and father,he would never and hasnt ever cheated just to get that out there.he knows not to look at porn but if its in his face he cant look away.

jcmommy

Men do not mature after the age of 5. So of course their eyes are going to wander from time to time. I use to be a very jealous person with all of my exes but now that I'm married I don't worry about it so much. We've been married for 5yrs and is pregnant with our 2nd. My husband watches porn when I'm around, he goes to strip clubs with his friends,etc. But I trust him. That's the main thing. The more you tell them no, the more they want it.Unless he gives you a reason to be suspicious then its ok to blow up. But is yelling at him really bringing him closer to you? If my husband was stupid enough to cheat and lose his family, I wouldn't want him anyways. He's your husband for a reason, if you can't trust him then why are you with him is the question. Jealousy is not pretty on anybody. Sorry to be harsh, but maybe it'll help some of your arguments. Good luck with everything

lilmomma070811

We dont really argue about it anymore i keep to myself thats why im posting here for advice.i dont yell at him if anything we talk about how it makes me feel but like i said its not a cheating thing and stripclubs etc totally outa the ? I know alot of strippers bc they used to come into my job and let me tell you alot of them do alot more than tease..

ASMommy11

Wow I couldn't imagine having my husband like that because he doesn't find any other woman as attractive as me:-) I don't worry about him looking at girls cuz he doesn't even want to! He doesn't watch porn and would rather look at me! I think I'm just lucky and I thank God for giving me a mature considerate man especially for being 25! I'm pregnant with our first and at 34 weeks he still finds me sexy:-D Ahh I love him dearly!

jcmommy

.. yea that's the thing, is do you trust him enough to know that he wouldn't do that to you. I use to go with him to the strip clubs, we're very open about things.

lilmomma070811

@ASMommy11 he used to be like that and even when im pregnant hes really into me..its just mostlyh my lack of sedrive and something about famles with big boobs nice butts n tight tummies.the "perfect" bodies but he knows hes got sumthin good bc i get hit on alot and it brings out his jelousy..seems like i get hit on more when im pregnant tho its weird lol

lilmomma070811

Sorry im having a hard time hitting letters right on my keyboard lol

ASMommy11

Lol really but at least he could respect your feelings and its not your fault you're not in the mood he should understand that you have sacrificed 9 months of your body for the baby!

vette_devil

I understand how you feel; I have a great husband who would never cheat on me, but when we were first married, I busted him with a huge internet porn problem completely by accident (I was looking up a page on our computer's history so I could paste it into an email, and bam! -there was 22 sites in ONE day... ugh... and it was all about the few things I won't do (and I'm no prude!). I was so hurt! I felt like we've been married less than 4 months & have sex at least once a day- why do you need that?!?... well, it got to the point that I nearly left him & it came to an ultimatum: the porn behind my back stops or I'm GONE. It came down to having to get rid of it all for a while, then work some things back in together... but I don't know if I'll ever totally be over the shock & hurt.

vette_devil

*I've always viewed porn as something for single guys, and it got out of control for us when I repeatedly asked my husband to stop & he said he would, but he didn't know about computer search history & I would find he had done it again the very next day, and every day after that until we'd fight about it again... that's where the ultimatum came from; the lies...

CELESTE_AL

Wow ladies... well i think if your a man rite and you gotta a girl friend or wife there's no need for porn strip clubs or even checking out another female. You have a girlfriend/wife why is there a need to look at other women? Its very disrespectful. When your in a relationship respect is one of the main keys for a successful relationship. I think if you have a man like that whose into that stuff it can make you feel very insecure and is definately unhealthy for a relationship. So thankful my partner completely understands me on this subject

lilmomma070811

@vette_devil that sounds like what i went through with my husband..but he always had these stupid excuses..like one day i was sittting beside him watching tv he was on the computer,i looked over and it was naked chiks i was like wtf!! He had typed in 'thongs' he said he thought it would be about families.but yea the 1st 3yrs we were together it wassex everyday most days more than once and i guess i started feeling insecure and maybe thats why i dont give it to him to much anymore.

lilmomma070811

It does make me feel better to talk about it and know that atleast some1 out there understands or agrees with me.if some women like their men watching porn more power to them but i dont like it and thats prolly not going to change whether i trust him or not.we havent had a porn occurence in a long time but im always wondering..its always stuck in the back of my mind.i feel like he ruined me in the begining with all this and lying about it..

ashes

I just think that when guys watch porn its like they want to see and imagine what you aren't, or what you won't do....which to me scares me into thinking I'm not enough for them. [I hate to compare] my ex never looked at porn, nor wanted to. If something or someone hot came on tv he'd turn it off and well, focus on me. He was my first boyfriend and I was with him for 4 years, and that's the type of reaction I got used to.
My current boyfriend is just the opposite...if he sees something hot he keeps watching, and I can tell he's turned on by it. Makes me feel inadequate. And now that I'm pregnant I'm scared it might get too far, actually I'm probably just paranoid ... but I've seen all his ex's and they are exotic looking and gorgeous and I'm plain, fair skin blonde hair blah. arghhh sorry I'm just venting

momof5

I think we all have been there. I'm a few years older than my husband. I look nothing like any of his ex's all which was blonde hair blue eyes. I know he would NEVER cheat. Our relationship was wonderful and still is but when I got pregnant with our first child I didn't feel like having sex. He forgot to wipe the history out on the computer and there was a porn site and after bugging him for hours he finally came clean and said that he had an urge and since I was at work he just had to release. Are you serious my self esteem is low enough since I'm pregnant and he wants to get off by looking at other girls that are skinny and pretty and here I am looking like a fat slob. I was so mad. Things have gotten a little better and since the computer is broke he can't look at sites. But it still bothers me at times. But its not worth the fight or ruining my marriage over.

Vero020

My bf and I we are going through the same issues. One night coming home from school (by the way he was drinking while @ school) totally went off on me saying that he had recently cheated on me but it was when we weren't together anymore that he dosent believe that its his blah blah blah. That totally crushed my world & I'm 17 weeks preg! We broke up & I told him I was done but some how weasled his way bacj into my life . Anyways now that were together I told him that I will never be able to trust him again that I'm always going to think that he's cheating on me( before he met me he told me that he was a HUGE player & had 10 girls in each sourrounding cities & said he cud b w. Any girl he likes) or talking to a girl behind my back or leave me while I'm prego. He says he wants to be w. Me forever but I find it hard to believe because I don't feel beautiful enough. He had told me once while I'm prego why can't you look like jennifer anistons body ur just some fat b*&$h?? Just based on his past & now idk if ill b able to ever trust him

ashes

Yeah im not even showing yet, im only 9 weeks. Idk what I'm going to do when I'm showing... see my bf I don't have to catch him doing it. He admitted he was addicted to porn. He admits when he watches porn now. Its so frustrating because I barely get sex already, so when he admits to watching porn and I know he's jacking off to it, arghhhh he could come over here and have the real thing. But he doesn't and I'm stuck watching House and Law and Order. So depressing really. To think I'm home sleeping or watching tv while he's.... arghhh.

lilmomma070811

So its kinda making me sad that so many guys are like this and mostly that most guys dont care about how it makes us feel..have you all seen Tyler Perrys 'why did i get married' and 'why did i get married too'? They make me so sad but i think women should stand up for themselves bc it seems like its always about the man,what makes him happy and gets him off.i have alot to say to most of the posts but its hard for me to type on my phone so i cant.lol but i apreciate all the input and venting bc im pretty much vdnting bc this stuff is always in my head and i just need to talk about it!!

izziep

Do it back to him. Gawp at everything with a ball sack that walks past hell soon learn. However you shouldn't feel bad about it he looks but who does he come and cuddle up to and make babies with? None of the other girls that's for sure xxx