i need advice ladies... :(

embracekittie

Ok so I am a ftm and had my son 1month ago. 2 days after Tyler was born I went on to my husbands facebook to see what he had been up to and I found shower pictures and videos from my husbands ex and them heavily flirting to the point of him tell her he still wants her. Also to add injury to insult the flirting messages were the dated the day I was in labor and in one message he as he is telling her how fun it is to be sneaky (cuz she is hiding this from her guy as well that ) and that he would love to see her pics of her pussy that he will send pics and videos in a couple of days because he is caught up in the whole baby thing and that I had been in labor for 6hrs already.... now see my husband and I are swingers so its not like we don't have fun but this hurt to find cuz he was sending these messages behind my back without telling me which is one of our rules for swinging. When I confronted him about it he said he didn't tell me cuz he didn't want to stress me out during labor but that he was planning on telling me. ( yeah f***ing right) well ever since I found the pics and messages I have been in ppd. I have so much anger towards him and it drives me nuts. He told me it is just a fantasy he has of her and that I am the one he wants to be with. She lives on the other side ofw the country. Now anytime he is talking to a girl it drives me crazy and pisses me off. So I confronted her too and all she can say is sry she didn't mean to upset me and that all she is is an old friend with open boundaries. Now she is psycho in my book. She has propositioned him 3 times in the 8yrs I have been with him one time being during my pregnancy. She ishas in thethe middle of a divorce, has insulted me in my own home and told me when she found out we were together she was angry but then when we got married she tried to kill herself while on a navy base( yes she was in the navy) she says she just misses what her and my husband used to have. I hate her and she wants to be friends with me how can I be friends with someone like her who I can't even trust... I mean how can u send naked sexual pictures to ur ex while ur in a relationship so sending them behind is back and while knowing the guy ur sending them to is married and having a child. Did I even cross her mind at all before or after she sent those pics and messages... of course not well not til I confronted her anyways. .... any advice ladies

smcox

Sorry...I don't have any advice really, I know nothing about being swingers cuz I'm prude and religious and in my head swinging is cheating.... I would personally leave him if he doesn't see anything wrong with what he's doing. Maybe counseling can help?

smcox

I hope someone with a more open mind can help you more. Sorry, I'm not trying to be offensive! I promise! To each their own

YNVTish

This is a toughy... I was with you up until you said you were swingers. Ouch! That "kinda" gives him the ok to act like this. As for her... I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole. If it looks like a snake.. talks like a snake... Ya best believe that bitch is a snake!

Lovinmyunborn

Yup whoop her ass & his too..that's all

MissQ_1stTimeMommy2B

lmao @YNVTish about the snake reference I'm going to have to use that...but yea I personally can't do the swingers thing cuz if we together it just supposed to be us 2 but I have had the ex situation happen to me and we are not together because of it, I don't like liars or cheaters (physically or emotionally) but seeing that u hurt by the situation u might want to re-evaluate the swingers things cuz to him that's a free ticket to do whatever! @embracekittie

YNVTish

I totally agree... I think after you have a baby your thoughts and views change immediately. Sometimes it takes a little longer for the fathers.

embracekittie

The snake thing is a good one. As for the swinging there are boundaries we set up between each other its not like he can just go f*** whoever he wants when he wants. Being fully open and upfront is one of those boundaries, we are supposed to tell the other when we are interested in someone else before doing anything, especially when it comes to her because he knows I am not fond of her, so him not telling me which he tried to pull the card of him saying " anna and I have been talking the last couple of days" is him telling me which I told him sending sexual text/pics/videos is more than talking and is going against our boundaries.