I need, help, advice and suggestion... (possible cheating husband)

second_time_mommy7

I normally don't go through my husband's things but the other night he was asleep and I went to get his phone on of his coat pocket to charge it. I pulled out a recipt (sp?) and noticed it had 2 meals on it... sometime he eats 2 sandwiches or whatever so at first I didn't think anything of it. Then I noticed it also had 2 drinks... So I woke him up and asked him who he had taken to eat and he at first he was like what are you talking about then I told him I had found the recipt and that there were 2 drinks on it so he said he took 2 girls from work (his employees) to lunch, but he did not eat... Why would you take people to lunch and not eat???? Not to mention that it was 2 managers from the same store so who was the person running the store while they were out? So I began to question him more and he said that they didn't have a way to work so he drove them to work. Since when is it his problem if people cannot get to work? That same night he called me and asked me to send him numbers to hotels in that area for his boss???? He had worked 8am to 10pm most of the day that week which is not normal but happens on occasion because he has several stores that he runs. It's not really that he took the women (if there really were 2) to work or lunch it's that I had to find out about by snooping and he did not tell me because he had told me about everything else that was going on at work just failed to mention that part. So this morning after I fed our daughter I fell back asleep on the couch and had a dream that I had caught him with one of the women he took to lunch having an affair... My dad called and said sorry for waking you and I told him I'm glad you did I was having a horrible dream. I explained the dream to him and he told me that a week agohe had a dream that my husband had cheated it upset him but he didn't think he would ever do it so he didn't tell me. I have never talked to my dad about any of our problems or even about him taking (women) to lunch so this has got me really bothered. My husband and I had an agreement that we would not got to lunch with the opposite sex even a harmless lunch with a co-worker. I just can't believe he didn't even tell me and I feel like dreams do have some meaning. I just don't know what to do... I need advice or suggestions on what to do and possibly ways to do things without distroying what I have if I am just over reacting. I swear I am about to have a nervous breakdown... If your still reading thank you I'm sorry it's so long I just didn't want to miss anything so I can get the most accurate responces. I am open to anything and please do not feel the need to sugar coat weather its me or him in the wrong. thanks

Mami_of_3

Well for one, he admitted taking her to work and to taking girls to lunch, y he didn't have lunch himself? Idk... its pretty hard to go thru that, n I understand ur mind is goin to take u to so many different conclusions, I think u should sit him down n really get to the bottom of this, he's ur husband, so I'm sure u know if he is lying... but to me it sounds off, u say u guys had an agreement to not go wit opposite sex to lunch, so I dnt thnk it was 2 girls he jst said 2 so u wouldn't thnk he was alone with another woman... u do have a point tho, who's supposed to be supervising the store? Nd if he called u about hotels n stayed at wrk that late I would have assumed he was wit her in the hotel... and if it a harmless act taking her to work, then he should have informed you about it, unless he thought u would b upset...but its ur husband mama, so u knw him best, jst talk, cuz u might jump to conclusions jst like I would, nd it could b somethng u can solve.. jst thnk about ur relationship, is he happy? R u happy? Do u guys communicate well? In the end its ur choice wen u know the truth, goodluck

second_time_mommy7

@Mami_of_3 He said he just didn't think to tell me... He showed me his emails where he had requested for hotels to be paid for by the company and there were several reservations. We talked about it and he said that he would be pissed if the tables were turned and that if it ever happened again that he would talk to me about it first. I try to talk to him so that I can see how he acts but honestly I can't tell if a man is lying... I have been cheated on so much I think all men cheat and all men lie. As far as our marriage goes... I guess he is happy he says I bitch too much but w/e I never get to see him... he is always at work and if he is not he falls asleep on the couch about an hour after dinner. We hardly ever have sex(tmi) and not because I don't want it. I have to wait for him to make the movebecause if I come onto him he feels like he is "married to a slut" I am just so heart broken I married him because I thought he was different but this whole story just doesn't make sense to me. At his prior job we kinda went through something similar and that is where the agreement can into play. It upset me then and it uspet him when I mentioned going to lunch with a group of guys and girls from work (when I worked) so I just don't know why he would think this would be no big deal. Our communication usually turns into a fight so I just hide my feelings and he usually just tells me how it is and move on. P.S. thank you for reading and replying.

Mami_of_3

Wow ur relationship sounds too familiar, but its my bf, n I dnt wana get married until we sort thru or issues, but yea, I knw how u feel, n I'm the one that wrks n I feel as tho he puts me off to... but I'm glad u guys tlkd it out, but he should keep his word wen he says he wnt do somethng then he shouldn't... I would chop my bf balls off(tmi) lol... but idk I would feel let dwn... but u shouldn't hide ur feelings, I used to jst be like whatevr but it haunts u after a while so I thnk its best to let the emotion out, even if he dnt like it, cuz every min unhappy, is a min of ur life wasted....oh. n we hardly do the nastys to...lmao

tinka1326

Hmmm... Thats a hard one. It could be totally genuine and men are generally thoughtless so they 'forget' to tell us things. But if this situation has been laid to rest for now just keep a closer eye on things to help ease your fears. Generally men are sloppy so if they are cheatingthey leave a trail.