What's it like?

trying4first

Me fiance and I are getting married on May 6. and he leaves for basic May 25th. he decided 2 months ago he wanted to be in the army and when he got in we moved the wedding date up and decided to start trying to concieve. i dont have the results yet missed period is still a few days away but i was just wonderin whats it like not having him around?

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Babymamma18

Im kinda goin threw what you went threw. My boyfriend enlisted a year ago and we started dating then I got pregnant. And we dont know what to do...i want him just not to join but then I want him to join so we will be stable for life. He does.t know what to do anymore either..its really hard.

jmichelle

Its super hard. My bf left 3 weeks ago && now I'm 32 weeks && he will get to come home for 2 weeks inbetween basic && AIT which just so happens to be 10 days before I'm due. But everyone thinks I'm gonna go early. I guess you get use to them being gone. && like mentioned above its part of the military lifestyle && you take that on when you marry someone in the military. Just keep friends && family around or get an unlimited minute plan on your phone for talking to friends && family once yall get stationed somewhere. =].

trying4first

Thanks girls.. we are really excited about him being in the army. He's not worried about much is anything.. but I'm worried that he will be upset when he realizes that he missed my entire pregnancy.. he will be in ait for 10 weeks so.. I'm worried that I won't be able to move to base until after the baby is born and have to be away from him for another month.

jkringle4910

waiting is somthing you will have to get use to being a military wife/girlfriend sorry to say but i dont think you will have to wait till you have the baby to get on base, but military lifes not that bad people around you become like a 2nd family. :X

MorgDeeBee

I'm due just a few weeks before my husband is set to deploy. Last year he deployed 2 weeks after I had a miscarriage and it was a month early. It'd hard when they have to leave but its something you have to be ready for.because it could happen at anytime. I wouldn't say it ever gets easier, but you kinda just start to get used to it. Just remember no news is good news! If you wanna talk about anything I'm here.

navywifeynurse

I have a 13 and 18 yr old from previous marriage. So this is reallly starting over but my fiance is 17 yrs in!!!! I know when they calls, he goes :-) I've met other military wives/moms...I guess it can be difficult!!
He is shore duty and this is final duty station (fingers crossed).

MorgDeeBee

@navywifeynurse does your husband like shore duty? This will be my husband's last deployment before we decided about shore duty.

trying4first

we still dont know if im pregnant or not.. still late and have decided to wait a few more days to test because my doc wont give me a blood test until ten days after my missed period. but the last test was negative.. if i am pregnant it will be due Nov. 5th and he will just be getting back from AIT the week before so im just worried and concerned he is going to regret ttc when he leaves because he wont be here for everything...

navywifeynurse

He loves being home but he misses the travel, ports and you get more money on ship duty. :-)

MorgDeeBee

@trying4first I'm sure he wont regret it, but it might be a little hard for him missing things. My biggest thing at first was remembering its just as hard for him to miss things as it is for us not having them there.

[Deleted User]

It's hard you just have to stay busy....luckily my husband is completing his last nuc school so he is home for now, but crazy crew hours.

fingerscrossed

@trying4first Oh wow we are in a very similar boat!! My FI and I are TTC before he goes into the army. We are getting married at the beginning of June, and he heads to basic training two weeks after our wedding. It was a really hard decision, but we both sat down and discussed it, and it was the right decision for us. I agree with you, I am a little worried he may regret not being there through the pregnancy, but I know of others who have gone through the same thing - that is, being pregnant while their husband is either deployed or in basic. Their suggestions have been to keep yourself busy, keep yourself surrounded by family and friends, and keep in as much contact as possible. And pictures - lots and lots of pictures! (And video, too, if you can, for when he comes back.)

I am hoping the best for you!

trying4first

@fingerscrossed where is you fiance going for basic? Mine is going to south Carolina and then fort leonardwood for AIT in august.

fingerscrossed

@trying4first He heads to Ft. Benning in GA then *hopefully* Ft. Leonard Wood for AIT. They had some kind of issue his recruiter is trying to work out. Ft. Benning is about two hours away from where we currently live, and Ft. Leonard Wood is twelve hours away. What is your FI interested in doing?

trying4first

@fingerscrossed he is going in to do chemical and biological engineering. Fancy words for guy in hazmat suit. When he is in south Carolina he will be about 5 hours from my moms house and when he goes to fort leonardwood he will be about 8 hours from my dads house. Either way this will be the hardest thing we will have to do. We have never spent more than one night apart so almost 20 weeks will be hard

carrie

this is very real to me. my husband and i were both military. i am still in but only in the national guard now but still working full time for them. with my first my husband left for korea just 2 weeks after i found out i was pregnant. he was gone the entire pregnancy came home for his leave when we found out what we were having and then didn't make it home for the birth. fortunatly we were close to my family and they were able to be there for it. he hates that he missed most everything but we knew that he was getting pcs orders to korea as an unaccompained tour before ttc. now we are pregnant again and he works 2 hours from my obgyn (we both commute an hour seperate ways to work) so has missed most of the appointments but will be able to be here for the birth so i will take it.

all i can say is stay strong ladies it's all for a good cause. be super proud that your SO is wanting to serve their country! not everyone can handle being a military spouse and you should congratulate yourself for being able to do it many people can't handle it!

sgthalesbabies

I'm an army wife. Currently going through PCSing from Ft Campell, Ky to Bamberg, Germany. I will be 30 wks on the flight over, and although it's usually a safe bet, the military isn't always a stable life or a way of security. ANYTHING can happen and your spouse be medically discharged, etc. My hubby is in Commo, but was getting ready to go warrant officer(Flight packet together, all he was missing was his second physical) when his dreams were crushed. He was in the field for a week, came back on block leave (2 weeks cause they were getting ready for deployment) and I noticed he was dropping weight fast among a few other signs of diabetes. He's never sick, so this was a scary time. The day he reported back to work he went to sick call and the drs called an hour later to send us to the hospital (his sugar level was over 600, normal is 80-120). He was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. No family history, no obesity, or other precursors. His med-board started a week later. It was one of the scariest times in our life, because the security net that had always been there was being threatned to be taken away. Thank god he was found fit for duty and will remain active duty. Being a military wife and mother is one of the toughest jobs you'll ever love. It takes adjusting because they are taught Army, Unit, Family, so sometimes you will feel like your second fiddle to the military, but if he's anything like mine, he'll reassure you when you feel that way that you're still his top priority.