Breastfeeding problems.. I dread every feed

edited November 2011 in Breastfeeding
My baby is just over 3 months old and I have been breastfeeding from the beginning, and in the last month have also had to pump and give him the breastmilk from the bottle sometimes.
There are days where he will not have ONE feed from the breast... he arches his back, screams, flails arms, turns head, refuses to latch on, or sometimes will latch on and then stop after a minute and refuse to go back on.
Initially, like most people, I found breastfeeding difficult but after the first 3 weeks it was going really well. Then when he was around 6 weeks old things went downhill from there.

I have tried swaddling him, picking him up, burping him, rocking him, gentle shushing, giving him to is dad for a break then trying again, putting him to bed then trying him again either after a few minutes or after he wakes up, giving him a bottle then trying to swap it for the breast. I sometimes spend over 2 hours trying and trying, for nothing. I even tried going without the pump for a day but the only outcome was that he got hardly any food and was then up all night trying to feed.

Most of the time nothing works. I have actually been so persistent and if I didn't really want him to be breastfed I would have given up a long time ago. Its really hard and frustrating.
I hated myself when i first pumped and gave him a bottle. I felt so guilty and I cried. There is so much pressure to breastfeed and even giving him breastmilk didn't seem right with a bottle.

I haven't really had any choice so I've used the bottle a fair bit lately.
He will usually breastfeed for his midnight feed but all the other feeds are a huge challenge.

I want him to exclusively breastfeed but he won't :( Does anyone have any suggestions?

Comments

  • Bump im having the same problem my son hasn't latched since we were at the hospital and he is 3 weeks tomrrow
  • @Alwayzbeenurz2008 i hope it gets better for you!

    @amab13 thanks, i do have a nipple shield, i tried it a few times but still the same result
    i'm wondering if maybe its some sort of colic or whatever, because as soon as you lay him down he screams.. i think its the position but i can't get him to breastfeed in other positions either, however he will take a bottle if he is propped up
    i agree, i will probably just have to continue pumping.. i know it sounds bad but i can't wait til i finish all of this and he can just eat solids :(
  • Have you tried talking to a lactation consultant? My baby will get restless and pull away then latch back on if she needs to burp or is getting full but wanting the comfort of me
  • edited November 2011
    @Smiley17 what is a nipple shield @mommyfor3 doo you think the hospital would offer lactation consultants or how would I find one?
  • There is usually one at the hospital or if you go to the wic office they will help you or give you the phone number of a lactation consultant @Alwayzbeenurz2008
  • While I was in the hospital I had the same problem and called the nursery for help and the nurse gave me sugar water and a syringe and gave my daughter a little then I offered her my breast again and she imediatley latched...even now at 9the weeks when she is so upset she can't latch I give her a little sugar water and it solves it
  • @firsttimemommy0928 how much sugar to water? and is it okay to use the baby water? instead of tap
  • My little one went through that. How long has he been doing that? Mine did it for about a week. But it was cause she was teething. Im going to post a link for you to read.
  • @amab13 that could be affecting it, i will try changing my deodorant, thanks!
    @mommyfor3 nope i haven't, i'm going to take him to the doctor tomorrow to rule out an ear infection or something and if he is fine then i will try a lactation consultant :)
    @Alwayzbeenurz2008 nipple shields are like a teat thing that you put over your nipple to help your baby to latch if your nipple is too small or sore or something. but i heard babies can get used to them and refuse to feed without them which can be annoying
    @ta2edblondie i live in australia and la leche league seems to only be in parts of aus that are not near me! lol but thanks :) and that's true, thankyou!
    @firstTimeMommy0928 i haven't heard of that, maybe i will try that too! thanks
    @Proudmommy8789 he has been doing it for about a month and a half i think.. but like it gets worse some days and better on others. thanks for that link, i found it really helpful!!
  • @smiley17 ok I really hope I dont get pounced on for this...ok here it goes..first let me start by saying I am ALL for breastfeeding! I breastfed my son for three and a half months straight. I started supplementing him at two and a half months th o....i stuggled from the very beginning with bf....I didnt get to nurse hime until he was two and a half days old...anyway.....I finally decided to stop nursing him two weeks ago. I felt liek a terrible mother..because let me tell u..i get it about all the pressures to bf. But really what its about is doing the very best u can and giving your baby the very best you can...and if a bottle works better...hes happier...more satiafied..calmer....then its better than bf. Ibstruggles to get that...its about whats best for him...and not every mothers journeybwith bf is going to b the same. mother planned on nursing me for 6months and I refused the breast after 4...my sister on the other hand refused the bottle when mom tries to wein her and nursed for 9 ...u are NOT a bad mommy. Breastfeeding is great...but dont wear yourself out living up to some standard you feel pressured to meet! Do what works best for you and your baby! (and solids are just around the corner! ;) )
  • Sorry for all the typos..my "smart" phone isnt so smart!!!!
  • Oh and have you had him checked for an ear infection.....all that screaming while lying down business sounds like an earache!
  • @vanalkr thankyou!! that does make me feel better. that's what i'm going to do tomorrow :) thanks
  • I totally understand the pressure that goes with breastfeeding. you have your own expectations plus those of your spouse or mom. we had a very hard time breastfeeding bc I have such a large supply of milk and every time my lo tried to eat he would end up choking repeatedly bc too much milk would be coming out. I kept trying but by the time we were finished him and I both would be drench In milk and both very tried and cranky! it really made me miserable and questioning BF. finally I decided to start pumping and giving him bottles. we go back and forth thru the day between bottles and breast which has made for a more enjoyable experience! You have to do what's best for you and if u have done your best (which it sure sounds like u have!!) then try not to feel guilty.
  • @crystaldawn0830 thanks, i have been pumping whenever he refuses the breast but today and yesterday i managed to get a few feeds in from the breast which was good :)
  • I also wanted to solely breastfed, but things don't always go according to plan. I wanted a natural delivery, however had an emergency c-section. You have to make the best of what life deals you. Breastmilk is best for your baby and that is what your LO is getting even though its in bottle form. Now your friends and family can help out during feeding time which is helpful. Try to view things differently and you will be happier. Mommy's are so hard on themselves and as long as you do what is best for your baby, you will be on the right path.
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