has anyone experienced

ripKaydence

Actually holding there baby while she/he died in your arms?

I relive this moment over and over everytime I close my eyes. Telling my daughter that it is okay if she wants to go be with Jesus and mommy wont be mad.

Dumanityann

Babynewyear2012

You know I did momma.....it has been a long hard day for me. Are you ok?

ripKaydence

@babynewyear2012 it just hit me that she isn't here.

starrxoxo9

kayleigh27

im so sorry...i couldnt imagine going through such a difficult/tragic event. i hope you find peace

Noliesxjustlove

@ripkaydence I followed your story every step of the way and was so happy when I seen that you got to make memories with your little girl as few and emotional as they were. I'm not going to say I know how you feel but I can say I understand and I thought about you and many of the other pregly mommas that have angel babies as it got closer to the holidays. I hope out of everything you can get for Christmas that you can give yourself peace of mind and comfort. I k ow its not easy but after everything you fought through you deserve it.

Babynewyear2012

@ripkaydence I am sorry sweet love. It hit me when I got in the shower this morning. Alone is the worse thing in the world! I love you

ripKaydence

@babynewyear2012 girl it hit me when I was Santa clause for only 1 of my babies. I'm so heart broken I just day dream all the time about what it'd be like with her here how my son would adore her. And feeding her and how my husband had dreamed of the day for his daddy's girl. My whole world is crashing and I'm falling in with it. I want my daughter so bad I physically hurt. Your the only one who knows how I feel to an extent and I just dont know what to do or say and I flip on on everything even if its the littlest thing I want my baby so bad jist to hold her one more time. My break Downs are getting worse and frequent and idk if I CAn go much longer I put on a happy face but I truely just want to be where she is....

tashalou

Oh god do I know exactly what you mean! I watched my 18 month old pass away from cancer, words cant describe the agony, I want ti say it will get better but it doesnt, instead the pain is something you carry with you and learn to live with but for me personally I want ti keep the pain so I never forget just what he means to me even though I wont. Im sorry for your loss and if you need to talk Im here

Mckenzie23

My husband and I held our 11 day old son as he passed away in our arms he was a premie and had a level 4 brain hemmorrage. I didnt wana be there when he passed but the nurses convinced me that I needed to be there and that Id regret if I wasnt. So we watched as he passed away surrounded by our close family we saw him take his last breath. Its been almost 3 years and Im still breaking down as I write this. The pain never goes away I agree that u just learn to live with it..

Steph_Due_101611

Kaydence was/is so beautiful. You fought so hard for her and we prayed soo long. I was actually just thinking about you. Almost sent out an Amber Alert. Its hard thing to go through and it sucks bad that it happens. But one day you'll meet your angel baby and she'll thank you for not giving up and not losing hope especially when the drs told you to wait for her to pass. Your drs were added which probably made it a million times worse. I hope things get better for you and your family. Remember, Kaydence loves you, pregly loves you too.

tinka1326

I have never been where you are, I have experienced a miscarriage in the early weeks and that was heart breaking enough, I dont know how you deal with your loss. I am a member of a group on fb called still birth, joshs junction... All the other women (around 10 in total) have either had a still birth or something similar, the founder Connie is amazing and might have some supportive things to say about her experience with her son that might help you. She is very open and talks freely, her son passed 18yrs ago. if your interested look it up, if not I hope. you find something to help you. My name is sandy bell, if you are interested in joining let Connie know I sent you, its a private group

Jaime77

I'm happy your back and willing to ttc again! My husband was holding Brandon and I was holding his hands when he passed. We had 53 hours with him. Honestly Amber, it takes its toll. Some days I didn't get out lf bed.Those visions of me leaving him in the hospital knowing where he was, kept giving me nightmares. I'd wake wailing! I was angry all the time, but it wasn't until I started to get my feelings out that I felt somewhat normal. We went back and forth for years on having another child. My ex wanted too right away but I was fearing another ntd. After 5 years, I was ready but he said no. Fate led me to where I am today, a few weeks shy of ten years and I have a sleeping 5 month old on my chest right now. Holidays are the worst. Missing our babies!
~Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened~Dr. Suess

momma_tiffay

I didn't get to hold my little Aiden in his last moments he was alive, but I held him afterwards the day of his funeral. It was a really morbid moment, but that was my baby & I had to say goodbye. It still plays back in my head as well, & it's definitely hard, but I couldn't imagine not holding him once last time.

ripKaydence

I am so glad that wait. I should never be glad bc of the circumstances but knowing there's more like me puts me a lil bit at ease knowing I can get threw this thank y'all for sharing your stories with me I'm more comfortable k owin my kaydence has many angel babies to play with I. Heave IM SO SORRY FOR ALL UOUR LOSSES especially the ones of these innocent babies. @tashalou that is so aweful your poor baby had cancer. I know all of us mommies hate yo see our babies suffer that's why my last words were if you want to be with Jesus mommy wont be mad. All of you are strong