questions/thoughts/rant

babyzoey

Hi,
im going to be a father. My daughter is due in april. I've never had a baby before ( I just turned 20). My fiance is 28 and she has never had a baby either. I have a baby brother (he just turned 5) so I know a little about bathing and feeding and changing diapers etc. But I want to know what the best way to support my fiance would be. I see all these post about babys daddys not being helpful and such. Im a little nervous about not getting enough sleep and such. After the baby is born I will be pretty much the sole provider for the house hold. I also go to school too. Im afraid it will strain our relationship and the way I see everything going in my head might not go as planned. Im worried about her getting depressed too. I dont think she will but is there anything I can do to help prevent depression? Is there any advice you can give me to help me be a good dad/partner/provider. Ive been reading this forum since august (when we found out she was pregnant) it was kinda planned but know that the due date is getting closer, its becoming more real. Im very excited and can't wait but I think I can use some professional advice from you guys. Thanks

My2Boys

@babyzoey Is the babys name going to be Zoey? I love that name. I would suggest the best way to help her would be to take care of yourself and pick up after yourself, in other words, do not create extra work for her. Be patient with her because it will be overwhelming, and just be there for her emotionally. With my first son I never had any depression after words and with my second son I got "baby blues" which went away after a couple weeks. Just listen to her and assure her that it will all work out, and when you both get more used to it things will fall into place. You just have to believe that it will all work out, your relationship may get strained but it will only be for a short while, and as long as you keep that in mind it should be fine. Put her and the babys needs first, and obviously school and work, but tell your friends and family they will have to be patient until you have time to spend with them agian. If they are true friends and family they will understand. Show the baby attention all the time when you are home, and be interested in what they did and how the day went, it means a lot to the mom of the baby that the dad cares. She will feel loved that you are loving the baby, but dont ignore her either. Being there for her and the baby and not adding more stress is the best things you can do.

natashalynn

Honestly, communicate with her. At every turn, talk. It's the best way to avoid conflict, & to stay connected. Remember, the hormones take a while to even out. After the kid comes, she might be outta whack. I know I was a raging lunatic after I gave birth. Remind her that you love her, pick up after yourself, And help when you can. Remember that being a mom is full time too, so she will need breaks herself. You may be tired from work & school, but she'll be tired too. Do your best to help each other out, and find a routine!! Good luck & Congrats!

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