advice for older child?

heyitsme

I have a 7 year old from a previous relationship. for the past year he has been extremely difficult. we can't take him anywhere without him causing a scene and/or throwing a fit. he won't stay with us he's always wandering off and touching EVERYTHING. he has aspbergers so that makes it even worse. I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to stop him from doing this. its getting to the point where I dread going anywhere with him cuz I know it will be a battle.

heyitsme

He also has a huge attitude and anger problems at home it seems like we are always disciplining him or taking things away

mommyof3girls

Have u talked to his doctor or a phycologist about it? They may b able to give u some helpful tips. Hang in there, keep loving him.

heyitsme

I haven't yet @mommyof3girls I was always afraid they would push for meds but now I've just about had it if they suggest meds I will probably try

mommyof3girls

I know thinking about medicating ur child is scary (im going thu something similar right now w my oldest) but honesly i feel if it helps ur child than why not. If it can help ur child w control than thats great. My daughter has impulse issues and focusing issues. We r working w her diet to see if that helps before going to the doc but her school nurse and psycologist were able to give me a few suggestions that i didnt even think about. So it was great help to hear a few.

Heather3girls1boy

I had the same thing with my oldest daughter as well, at the time she was 5. I killed a lot of her anger with love and kindness with a nice dose disciplin. It took some time maybe a month or two for it to be 100% better. To better break it down when she would do something wrong I would ask her to come here I would sit her on my lap and tell her that I love her, and what she just did didn't make mom happy. I would ask her to tell me what she did, and why would it make mommy sad. She picked up on these things quickly and learned right from wrong at the same time. She also knew that no matter what she does mom loves her and will be there. Payoff- Right before her 7th Birthday her father who is never there for her and causes a lot of her anger, decided to buy and give her a pink cell phone (of course her fav color ever and of course real!) I was pissed! When I tried to talk with him nicely about it, he got mad right away before I even finished my senentence he told fine, go break her heart I want to watch you break it into a millon piceces and crush it in the ground. So we went to where she was. I started by telling her that she was not taking the phone home with us, she got upset and cried for all of 30 seconds, I held her and told her I loved her and was sorry she was upset. I then asked her if she knew why we were not taking it home and she said well yes mommy cell phones are for big people and teenagers. I am just a little kid and don't need one. She said mommy I really like it because its my fav color but I know I'm to little. Can I have a pink one when I am a teenager and have job? I said that sounds like a great idea sweetheart. Her dad was pissed, he really thought she was going to be a mess.and mad at me forever, ha ha ha he was wrong. I have taught my daughter the things I feel are important in life. Honesty, Caring, Compassion, Right from Wrong, ect...... It payed off more than I have expected already I hope this can halo you, I am so sorry its so long. Good luck

Heather3girls1boy

@heyitsme

heyitsme

@Heather3rdgirl thank you great story
@mommyof3girls what did the school nurse and psychologist suggest?

Heather3girls1boy

@heyitsme Your welcome, I hope it helps at the very least give you some hope, if not some ideas of a way to help your son through this rough and frustrating time.

skysma

ive personally worked with all sorts of mentally handicap people one thing that i have learned is how to redirect. its hard very hard as for the angery fits and what not try putting him on his bed and tell he can come out when he is done dont raise ur voice only makes things worse. tell him it is not okay to act like that be stern but not angry. like the lady up there said killing it with love and kindness will take some time but will get better as for the store try putting him in the cart and let it be a reward for him to get out if he doesnt wander or throw a fit or touch things and he stays by u let him walk and i know how hard it can be in public but oh well they dont know theyy dont understand and no on will fully learn what its like to have a special needs child adult and so on until theyve had one for themselves i will pray for you and wish you luck just thought i could lend a little bit of a helping hand

Steph_Due_101611

Organic diet and counseling. No gluten or artificial sweeteners. Lots of protein. BD has Aspergers and her still lives at home with his parents and his mother watches what he eats. He also takes vyvanse, it helps him focus and keeps him calm without being zombified. Most people. Don't even know he has it.

heyitsme

@Skysma about the store, I have the baby seat in the cart so not able to have him in there. I used to do that though!
it is really hard at home as well cuz most of my time is taken by the baby so when he has his fits I can't always react right away besides talking and I think he uses that to get away with stuff. like last night he was getting ready for bed and came over to give me a hug and he got distracted by the tv. I told him twice to get going and he ignored so I turned the tv off and he had a fit, jumped and stomped on the floor which is a big no cuz we live in an apt. so my bf stepped in took his arm to take him to bed. he dropped on the floor and wouldn't move and then started kicking at my bf. actually did end up kicking him so he just picked him up and took him to his room and closed the door. he continued his fit in there for a few more minutes. That wasn't even the end of it ugh... this happens most nights

heyitsme

Oh and in the store if he's wandered away and I go to get him, if I touch him at all he acts like I'm beating him. he says oww don't touch me! or that hurts! and won't stop until I walk away. in clothing stores he runs around and hides in the racks. I don't even try going in clothing stores with him anymore