Worlds apart

mrsrocketfield1221

We've had a hard couple of years to say the least... Been through a lot... But I've been having a hard time with my husband during this pregnancy & I'm unsure of what to do. For the first part it was stress due to him losing his job but I just dOnt feel like I'm a priority. Maybe 3-4th on the list? And I don't think it's pregnancy hormones. We've talked about it sO it's not that I'm not communicating... Just don't know what to do bc I know that someone out there would treat me like gold.., the way he used to.., just really getting me down & I'm a pretty up-beat person.

1stWoodsBaby

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I'm somewhat in the same situation.. relationships are so tough. I hope it gets better between you and your husband.

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RTMommy

What's he putting before you, hon? Because if #1&2 are his girls and 3&4 aren't you then job, something isn't quite right. Is he worried about being able to provide for a bigger family? Whenever my hubby and I have an issue, I talk it to death until he gets my point of view. I really hope he gets out of his funk soon so he doesn't miss the whole pregnancy. He will end up regretting not enjoying it later if he doesn't...or at least I'd think he would. Prayers for you both to resolve your issues and enjoy each other. Hugs!

mrsrocketfield1221

@rtmommy for me it feels like 1.his girls, 2. His job, 3. Soccer, 4. Me... Lol I know he is in a weird place bc of being 34 and not providing very well for his family (he'd like to fully) but another part is just him changing. Today we text for 2 hrs about this all (I couldn't talk on the phone at work) & I felt like geez he's coming off so immature... Kinda going from one excuse to another & trying to make it like its my fault. Then said I'm "pushing" him to change... Umm.., change what? Into being the man u used to be a while ago? Into being & acting like a husband? Lol apparently bc we just had a talk last Friday & I want things to "change over night". It blows my mind. I think he's in his own little world. His entire family struggles with depression so maybe that's clouding him? I don't know. It's all just kind if a mess right now & my personality isn't one to just shut up about it & pretend things are fine. I want a husband not a roommate. I offered to give him time by himself & I could stay at a friends but... He freaked out... So I guess I'll just play along & not bring it up & see if my husband can be a big boy again!! Lol

mrsrocketfield1221

@ltlnckl if u want to vent or talk about it let me know... Ugh, I just don't understand it all. I get parts but, it's never taken him this long to come back after being stressed & he's never said the dumb things he did today lol

@1stwoodsbaby they sure are tough! Thanks, we need it!

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RTMommy

Awh. To both of you girls, it's a hard situation when you feel like tour man is changing and growing distant. My hubby and I actually separated and got divorced in 2010. We were apart for 14 months before I decided to forgive him for being a dummy and leaving. I am NO expert on relationships, by any means. All I know is they sort of have to be able to get themselves out of the funk. Pushing won't make it better. @mrsrocketfield1221 I hope your hubby gets himself out of the funk soon. I really think it's all the pressure of changing life that is making him act out. He doesn't want you leaving, so obviously he needs you around right now. Hang in there, honey. Praying for you guys.
@ltlnckl Maybe giving your bf space for a little bit will help him see what he's missing out on. It sucks feeling single when you aren't though. Try to stay strong and congrats on feeling baby. It's such an awesome feeling.

2ndtimearound

It sounds like one of my friends situation...and def think he's (my friend's hubby) struggling with depression. The thing that sucks is i think alot of guys dont want to admit it and instead blame exterior things as the cause of their unhappiness...like i'd be happy if only i had a better job...or blaming the relationship for their unhappiness when in reality it's depression, a chemical imbalance.

Hope your man snaps out of it soon...sucks that you have deal with this while your pregnant.

Excitedtobe

Ugh I think that is an ongoing project with men. Sometimes I think that too! Don't get me wrong I love my husband but I know that there are men out there that would treat me like gold. I am a hairdresser and I've been told once or twice. I'm like seriously grow up Cause I could easily replace you.

tinka1326

Relationships are hard... I was married and it all fell apart and I gave up. We probably could have worked things out but I wasn't in the right head space to try, I just wanted something else... Now I have been with my fiance a little over a year and things with us are even harder because we have relationship issues and 4 kids between us aged almost 5, 3, 2.5 and 3 months... Some days I want to give up and not deal with it anymore... But then I try to remember why I liked him in the first place... He is funny, kind, thoughtful, great dad, amazing in bed... I then just try to rekindle whatever seems to have dropped off...

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