Help! I need opinions

kiwi_mom

Okay, so I am 28 weeks pregnant. This will be my third baby and my bds first. Lately bd and I have been fighting a lot bc he still hasn't told his friends and coworkers we are having a baby. He works 40 hrs a week and goes out with his friends every Thursday night and tells me he hasn't had the opportunity to tell anyone.....REALLY?.....I ask him why hes not saying anything and he tells me he will. He also says these ppl really don't care, it's not going to change anything and has nothing to with me, so why do I care. Well it hurts my feelings and he tells me there is no reason for it to. Needless to say, I'm pregnant and hormonal and I find myself stewing over it all the time. I'm trying to figure out why. Then I question him about everything and he tells me I'm insecure and crazy.

Please anybody have thoughts on this? Do you think it's strange, should I let it go, any thoughts or suggestions would be awesome!

Thanks everyone

jnlelrod

I do think it's strange with you being 28 weeks pregnant...sorry I can't imagine. I would be very upset also. That's not hormones there is something odd about that. I mean yea guys tend to come around slower but really...your 28 weeks. You would think he would be wanting to tell everyone now and be a proud papa. I'm not sure what advice to give but to just tell him it's very hurtful and talk to him about it which it sounds like you already did

moodymommie

positive: maybe he wants to wait till the baby is born and safe in his arms

negitive: maybe he needs an excape from baby stress, or flirts with girls at work & doesnt want them to see him differently like a oldman?

preggointx

I would be upset too

duskbydawn

I to would very very hurt from it. Is he ashamed? I know once my pee hit the stick for a bfp my hubby (then boyfriend) was already announcing it to the world. Hope things get better for you Hun.

BabyNumber3ontheway

Wow Im going through THE EXACT same thing..I'm 26 weeks & my hubby hasnt told his FAMILY or FRIENDS that im pregnant yet & im so confused as to why not..This will be my third, his fourth but our second together & im not understanding why hes being so secertive. Its to the point when his mom comes over he tells me to hide so she doesnt see my belly & tells her im at work or gone & he goes out with his friends & doesnt say anything. I tried talking to him about it but he just brushes it off & changes the subject or will say he doesnt wanna talk about it. I know how you feel..I get soooo pissed off at times. He was so proud with our first now its totally different. Im sorry your going through it to. Guys suckkk sometimes!

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Crisjoe

My friend went through this with her boyfriend. Turned out he was married. This may not help you. Just hope he isn't hiding something.

kiwi_mom

@jnlelrod I feel like he should be proud too. He says he is but I think his actions show otherwise:(

@moodymommy oh the girls at work theory kills me bc there no way to ever really know! I have asked him but of course he's says NO. We did loose our last baby in my second trimester do to an umbilical cord accident. It was the hardest thing we have ever been through. I have wondered that too, but again when I ask him he says NO.

@preggointx and @duskbydawn I'm glad I'm not alone.

@BabyNumber3ontheway I am so sorry to hear you are going through this as well, but selfishly I am glad I'm not the only one!!! What are your ideas and thoughts about why they would not say anything?

@KendylsMommy men really can be insensitive! This is my bds first, he has a stable job, and he's 33! It seems to me, there should be nothing holding him back. We have been together 6 and a half years! And for him to act this way blows my mind.

@Crisjoe that's awful! I don't think my guy is married but I am getting extremely suspicious.....how did your friend finally find out? What did she do?

BabyNumber3ontheway

@kiwi_mom I have NO idea. I wish I knew. He's 40, you think he would have some sense by now. LOL He's a great man & He does everything for the kids & myself. I normally have NO complaints about him so thats why I really dont understand. I dont really think it has to do with another woman because he hasnt told his family either..sooo thats what confuses me. Although he's a Chef & works around a ton of waitresses that flirt with him (that kinda gets under my skin) but I've met them all & I go to eat at his work sometimes & he never acts different so who knows. I think it maybe insecurities of him worrying about what other people think..Like "damn another baby?!" LOL I dont think he really wants to hear it from his family cause they are always making comments about how many kids he has (even though it will only number 4) but he just always has been the type to care what other people think. I hope thats what it is anyways. I just cant wait till hes born & then he'll have NO choice & I'm sure his mom & family & friends will be upset that they didnt know earlier. He's saying he's gonna tell them soon so we will see.

moodymommie

I think it may have something to do with the loss of your other child. that makes a lot of sense to be scared to get everyones hopes up like his were. almost like not to jinx it...

Crisjoe

@kiwi_mom She came to me and was telling me the story, it sounded suspicious. That was the first thing I thought of. She confronted him, he denied, then said he had an annulment in 2000 and that he was to embarassed to tell her since they were married less than a year.
I looked up online for divorce decree and went to the courthouse, found out he was married and divorced in 2000 and has a 12 year old daughter. I did a search for a marriage license and found he got married again in 2002, met me friend in 2001 and proposed to her in 2001 btw. She confronted him again, he said he was divorced the 2nd time, so she asked for the divorce decree (I couldn't find it) he fabricated some paper and took a picture of it and sent it to her, never gave to her in person, wonder why?
He was such an ass, still is. This went on for a better part of a year, then she got pregnant. He didn't introduce her to his parents, lied and told her he showed them ultrasound pictures. He didn't tell anyone he worked with. She was frustrated, had another friend follow him after he left her place, saw him open the door and a woman with a baby greeted him. She asked his brother who finally felt bad for her and admitted it to her, he also has a 7 month old and has a 3 month old with me friend. Sorry long story.
She is still with him cause he said he will leave her...when his 7 month old gets bigger.

jnlelrod

@kiwi_mom maybe bc of losing the baby in the 2nd trimester last time is making him worried is why? That would be hard to deal with I'm sure for a man too. And btw I am really sorry to hear about that =(( But congrats for a healthy pregnancy and baby this time! I hope you get the answers you deserve from him soon. Hang in there mama!

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