i feel like a whiner

edited January 2012 in Loss
So we had to go home to TX for a friends funeral. Last time we were here, I announced the pregnancy at Christmas. I lost the baby new years day. So coming back here, I'm having to deal with the pity looks and the "im so sorry"s and the "god has a plan". Which don't get me wrong, I fully agree. But I JUST got my head on straight again after all this... And now a friends funeral... And the people that won't leave ME alone when they're supposed to be grieving for someone else... I'm so stressed and hubby can't seem to.wrap his head around why. I don't know how to explain it to him. And while I appreciate people showing they care... I don't want to be reminded of the miscarriage!! Nor do I want to keep hearing "itll happen when its supposed to". We tried 2 years for this one... Ugh, sorry for the rant but I just hate this.

Comments

  • Ur not a whiner. I somewhat understand how u feel. My friend MC last wk. At first I said how sorry I was n told her I was here for her. Well I spoke to her today n I didn't bring it up b/c I didn't wanna hit a nerve or anything so we just talked about other stuff. Ppl try to be nice w out thnkn that being constantly reminded of something doesn't help at all.
  • So I'm not being unreasonable.
  • When I had a miscarriage followed by a d & c, I went back to work the next day so I wouldn't stay home and focus on the "why". People and friends did say "im sorry" cliches, and what not, while others avoided the topic and nervously smiled. I don't know which was better. Speaking to women who experienced miscarriages was helpful and time healed what it could. Its a tough balance which is hard to explain to another.
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