I dont feel any romantic connection and dont want to be together with the dad...

mommyof2nd

We r best friends! Known eachother for 4 years and there's a lot of resentments... he is younger and I feel like we just aren't meant for eachother, he's very excited bout the pregnancy (I'm 6 weeks and 3 days) but since I don't have those loving feelings he's not really motivated to do anything and be close to me cuz of MY feelings... he would drop every girl and be with just me but I'm not happy and don't want that.. what should I do? Someone please talk 2 me... I also have a 5 year old boy and in the past he wasn't treating him nice he's doing better now but immature and my son looks up 2 him and its the only guy he knows pretty much.. I don't see a future so what happens when baby is born and during pregnancy and what do I tell people wish I felt different but I'm honest n not gonna fake and pretend so I just won't go for it... I like talkin 2 guys and would like 2 meet a nice mature guy I'm always the one taking care of my bf's that's not what I want anymore please help I'm sooooo confused!!!!

Momma2joe

Don't settle for someone you don't love just because your having a baby. Keep looking for the perfect guy. If I were you I wouldn't bring the new around my children until I knew there's was great hope for the future. The father can be the father without being with you.

myowndisaster23

Sorry you're dealing with all these emotions right now... why don't you sit down and talk to him? Tell him his friendship means a lot to you and you need him around but not in a romantic way. You shouldn't have to settle for someone you don't love because you'll eventually start to hate him. Focus on your babies and staying healthy.

mommyof2nd

Thanks so much for responding!! He's a really great guy just some immature and jealousy issues and I'm not happy we fight and I'm not happy I don't want this and just cuz there's a baby on the way doesn't mean we need 2 be together... ur so right! If I'm not feeling 100% this is good I'm not gonna settle! His family thinks he's gonna grow up n be there but even if he is I feel we still just aren't meant 2 be and now there's a baby in the mix he lives with me and I just want space sometimes cuz I feel like I take care of him a lot and I have a 2nd son it sucks! I wanna be a couple on the same page! So we should just focus on the pregnancy and co-parent I guess then what if he gets a gf down the road and I don't get a bf and what bout the $ situation its all so f'd up I told him I didn't wanna be together even before I got preg and I always want him when he's with another girl (u want what u can't have) lol idk I'm confused but deff don't see a future I know what I want, I need 2 work on myself and my life go to school but everyone is on my case sayin we r perfect for eachother and he is the one all into me I'm not... no spark there at all also I don't want sex I don't care or need it and he's 22 he does lmao! What would u do?

mommyof2nd

@ my own disaster- thanks girl! Ya we communicate everything this is just a bad situation and I don't know how its gonna end I tell him ALL my feelings good or bad he knows exactly how I feel but says he doesn't wanna wait around for me 2 make up my mind and I AM being selfish its like I want my cake and eat it too lol I only want him when he has a girl n that's not normal I just can't help my feelings I'm going with my heart and for some reason it says to not be together and since we have been thru hell and back I think too many things have f'd it up... wanna start fresh but its not gonna happen with him and he's such a wonderful kindhearted honest trustworthy person very sincere and kinda scared of losing that but am not happy at the same time does that make sense??

mommyof2nd

Oh ya he's not my firsts sons dad (he's a deadbeat with other kids and a wife another 23 year old) haha

myowndisaster23

I would talk to him, tell him you are carrying his child and you need him to step up and help you! You can't carry all that on your own. He is twenty two an old enough to care for the family he helped create. You have every right to expect that of him. And as for how you feel about him, it seems you may have at least a slight interest in him but I would wait until you are not pregnant to consider what youre really feeling. Pregnancy hormones can make you feel a thousand emotions at once. Lol. Your baby needs both of you but only if he is willing to grow up.

mommyof2nd

We have been up n down whole time known eachother he was in love with me 1st then it was kinda same in beginning... then I moved 2 san diego and he went to NV that's when I realized I was in love with him but he didn't love me... then when he came back I really loved him he was cocky and acted like I didn't excist... then he somehow got back in love with me but I wasn't.. so pretty much its back n fourth till one day I made my mind up this isn't what I want and I'm done doing this wanna just be friends then a girl comes in the mix and I'm back 2 wanting him again I have put a stop to this back n fourth (well I got preg cuz he was hanging with another girl and we wanted eachother and I guess was the sneaky feeling) he found out she was sleeping with a married man, they don't talk but the pregnancy happened cuz of another girl I know eveything happens for a reason just wondr what the reason is.. he used to be super jealous of my son kinda took it out on him he doesn't anymore but have tons of resentments want a brand new feeling without immaturity and fighting... that's a lil more bout my situation... lol

mommyof2nd

Ur right but I felt this same way even before trust me girl this is not hormones I'm 100% in tune with my feelings I'm just not happy but wanna be a happy family and don't feel its with him another is he is VERY jealous and has a temper n another guy around his kid will NOT fly with him then what also I'm already a single mom so I'm gonna be single mom to 2 now? Idk what's going on with livin situation too cuz I feel I have 2 parent him and really need my space can't get it I'm super easy going and in a horrible situation mostly don't wanna confuse this baby

myowndisaster23

Aww, jeez... you two do have a history. I think its just best to tell him what you need right now and maybe that includes neither of you dating anyone for a while. You don't need the stress and honestly be selfish, you're creating a little human!! Lol. (:

mommyof2nd

Ya lots of history hehe! More bad than good! But we have everything in common just don't feel romance at all! I watch Bachelor and get weird feelings watchin it together I get friend feelings he doesn't tho.. what bout stayin with me I don't like it and feel there is nothing I can do I told him I wanna work on myself and my own life school and stuff and he's like "I'm not gonna wait around for u to finish school" lol I just get so much shit from his other people but this is my life and I wish I was married and happy dammit lol so I shouldn't be pressured I shouldn't feel bad or put on a guilt trip cuz I don't know what I want (that happens a lot) so stressful

mommyof2nd

I think he wants to date and be happy he is not gonna wait hahaha

myowndisaster23

The only one you can rely on is you. I wish you weren't going through this and I'm sure you could use a friend. All I can say is I'm here for you and if you need to talk ill listen.

mommyof2nd

Awww thanks! Do u have yahoo chat and also wanted 2 let u know if u need any advice I'm here for u and a pretty good "therapist" lmao too bad can't take my own advice hahaha we never do lol

myowndisaster23

We never do! Lol. I don't have yahoo chat on my cell... I have Google.

mommyof2nd

I have a google phone lol message me google aydensmom21

mommyof2nd

U there? Haha

Viviya

@mommyof2nd That's how I feel with my husband, except we have two together and this one isn't his. We get along but no matter how hard I try, I don't have any deeper feelings for him. I was 19 when we got pregnant and married for the baby. We separated for almost two years and got back together for my daughter but since I had no BC I got pregnant with my son. I left him last May and was with BD who I deeply fell in love with. Due to being long distance though, we argued and when my husband found out I was pregnant he offered to care for us. Since he was in a better position to take care of all of us and my family still loved him, I left BD for him and now I feel like I can't leave because of everything involved. You aren't tied to him by anything other than your baby. If you don't want to be with him you don't have to. I would leave, and that's just my opinion.

Boho_Chic

I felt this way at the beginibng of mypregnancy. Though I decided to try tomake it work. We satdown discussed where we disconnect and asked for ways to make our bond stronger. Oxytocin is the hormone which is also known as the lovecocktail, itmakes people more trusting of each other and can create a chemical addiction. If you wanna stay try tofind ways to increase that hormone, if you want to leave, leave now, becauseif you dont work towards staying it usually only gets worse with time. But whatever you do, keep in mind the well being of your children,especially the one that is already here. He is like a sponge, he sees and feels everything you experience. He may not be able to associate it toanything,but he knows.