i just wanna cry (vent)

RedShadoe0

I'm so discouraged and sad today... After losing the baby New Years, I was praying I would be one of those lucky ones to get preggo again right away without having to wait for a period. But today, when my period should be on, its a no show. So i got my hopes up and tested this morning.... I got an overwhelming NEGATIVE. A very very dark one pink line. No questions asked, just rejected. And now seeing that one pink line, I'm totally devastated all over again because I should be almost to my second trimester... NOT AT SQUARE ONE!!! I'm not an emotional person... Hubby is always telling me I don't show enough and to open up n all that shit... I've never ever had an issue at work keeping my emotions in check. Ever. But today I had to leave work because I kept randomly tearing up and almost breaking down. Questions like "was that my one shot at having a baby" and "if it wasn't my one shot, how long till I get another chance" keep running thru my head. So not a good day

ripKaydence

Dont discourage yourself hun everything happens for a reason. Our babies just weren't mean to be here.

RTMommy

You really can't beat yourself up like this, thinking what could have been...if I did that, I'd be devastated instead of encouraged to go on. By my first MC, I should have an almost 2 month old right now, and by my second, I'd be in my third trimester. It's too hurtful to think like that, so instead I focus on ttc. You were able to get pregnant and that's the hard part for most, so at least you know you can. Look at AF showing up as a clean start and healthy uterus for your next cycle. You'll get your baby. We both will. Just gotta keep your head up. hugs

finallypreggo

All I can say to u is that ive been in ur shoes so I know how u feel but TRUST me when I tell u ur time will come it took me 10 mo but it was worth it bc I have a beautiful 5 mo baby girl hang in there and I know everyone always says it will happen when u least expect it (i hated when pple used to tell me that) but u know what they were right the best of luck to u and baby dust going ur way hun

RedShadoe0

Thank you ladies... I'm ok now... Went back to bed. Seems to be my magical fix it. I appreciate the words of encouragement. I guess I'm to impatient for my own good. @ripkaydence @rtmommy @finallypreggo

rjr33

I was exactly the same way! After my last mc we tried right away. We didn't even wait one cycle cuz I just wanted to be pregnant again. I am happy to say I didn't get pregnant right after cuz it gave my body time to heal and my mind! It took me two cycles and I am 7 weeks today. I know when I was in your position two cycles seemed forever but it's worth letting your body heal! Your body knows when it's ready and it'll just happen. Good luck girl!

RedShadoe0

@rjr33 it totally seems like forever... And maybe its just me trying to stay as close to the original due date as possible for whatever reason... And i wasn't really wanting a holiday birthday either. So it seems like its NOW or wait a few more months... I need to learn patience.

Prayin_4_twins

I will sending prayers to you hun!

tinka1326

I got pregnant my first cycle after a mc... And it was incredibly hard. You have a very high chance if mc again getting pregnant again so soon, so I worried and stressed tge whole first trimester

RedShadoe0

@prayin_4_twins thank you
@tinka1326 meaning you had a period after the mc and got preggo or do you mean right away afterwards?

What's killing me is all the symptoms went away... but yesterday the heartburn came back and once again I feel I could sleep for days. The only thing missing is sore Boobs but that didn't come till almost 6 weeks. Who knows... Maybe just my hormones tryin to figure out what normal was.

littlenat86

We waited one cycle before starting to try, then I had another cycle before getting pregnant again. The miscarriage is the hardest thing I have ever gone through but now I have a beautiful 3 month old brother to my 3 year old. I still think about my angel baby almost every day, but know I wouldn't have Riley if that baby had survived, and I think that is the greatest gift my angel gave me. It's hard but keep your chin up, it will happen when your body and mind is ready again. Fingers crossed for you hun, take care and I hope it happens soon for you

RedShadoe0

@littlenat86 thank you... Thas a good way to look at it.