Essure procedure tomorrow...and I am freaking out!!!

Mommyo4

So, tomorrow I am having the Essure procedure done. It is a non surgical, less evasive type of tubal ligation. Maddox is 3 months and our 4th kiddo. I know in my brain that our family is complete...but it is hard to accept with my heart. I feel like I am selfish for being upset over it when I have 4 healthy kiddos and there are so many women out there who can't have babies. I am trying to look at it that this is just another chapter in my life's book that I am closing, but with it closing it makes room for many more chapters to open. I have prayed and prayed about it...and I truly feel that it is the right thing. I think it is not that we will ever want to have another baby, but that after this it will not be possible.
Also, my mom is taking me so that my hubby can stay with my daycare and our 3 month old. She drives me nuts and this is the longest and farthest I will have been away from Maddox since he was born. I also will not be able to bf him for atleast 6 hours...which I will have to pump and dump that milk. I have to take Valium so for safety he can't nurse right after. The good thing about the valium is that maybe my mom won't be able to bug me so much. LOL
Has anyone else had a tubal of any sort and been upset about it? My mom and others have said that it is normal to "mourn" that loss. I wish that I had the type of personality to just be at peace with it and all...but I am such a freak who stresses and overthinks everything. Any advice would be much appreciated and thanks for letting me gripe. My poor hubby has been wiping my tears and dealing with my mood swings all week as the date drew closer.

mommyx5

I know exactly what you mean! I had my 5th baby in October and my husband got a vasectomy in July and was so sad. I too know that we are complete but its still hard knowing I will never feel a baby kick in my belly or breastfeed another baby. I'm just trying to enjoy every single second of this baby.

Mommyo4

@mommyx5 That is what I'm trying to do...and it probably doesn:t help that it is flying by. It seems like just yesterday that we found out we were pregnant (found out 2/22/11) and now he's 3+ months. And our oldest turns 13 in May...sloooooow down!

mommyx5

@Mommyo4 I know it's flying by, my oldest turned 12 in December and it seems like it was just yesterday that she was a baby. I really wish I could be one of those women who was absolutely happy to be done with having kids, but now I guess we get to look forward to having grandkids in 15-20 yrs. Lol!

Mommyo4

@mommyx5 I agree. I was born to be a mommy! Sounds like you were too.