My husband is in the Army & he has been having inappropriate conversations with a female soldier. I found a message on Facebook about oral sex. Smdh. How do I report this to his chain of command?
Please don't take this the wrong way but I understand you are angry right now but make sure you really want to do this because the army does not play with adultry. They will either give him an article 15, field grade article 15, definately take his rank & money, and move them both out of the unit if they are in the same unit. But if you want to report it then you must have proof because it will be his word against yours. Go to his commander.
@miaradavis, I am so pissed! I took a screen shot of the conversation. I don't know what I should do right now. I am hurt. He swears that he never touched her.
Just wanna say... U shouldnt have to deal w this kind of bs in ur marriage. Im sorry ur husband hurt u like this. stay strong and do what u have to do.
To be honest, you shouldn't just jump to going to his command. Take some time away from him & when the 2 of you are at a point where ya'll can talk without fussing then talk it out. Yes he is very stupid! He should know damn better that the army doesn't take it easy on soldiers who committ adultry. I was in the same boae as you, I found emails from my husband while he was in Iraq, he came home to visit 3 days after I had my son then left to go back and that's when I found the emails. So badly out of anger & rage I wanted to get his ass & put him on blast in front of his chain of command but I didn't. Now don't get me wrong, I love my hubby but I still have those emails. Just give yourself some thinking time and space. I'm sorry mama, men in the army are NEVER sneaky, they ALWAYS get caught. @ArmyMommy
Thanks ladies. I'm going to take some time to think things over. It just trips me out that he thinks i'm over reacting because there was no physical contact.
So they talked about doing it, but you caught it before they did. You should be upset but if you work it out without getting his command involved then he should be thanking you not be upset with you. Imo
I know it may be childish and inconsiderate.. but I would do it. I just don't like cheaters. But it is a good idea to think about your choices and the consequences of each.
Although I am sure any womens reaction is going to be anger, and wanting revenge. It isn't going to just affect her husbands life for his wrong doings. If she jumps and goes to his command without knowing what all they will do, I could affect her in many negitive ways as well.
@armymommy, I can't comprehend how you feel. I would be insanely angry right now. Just don't take any drastic actions until your head has leveled out a bit. You never want to act when you're angry; that's when we make huge mistakes.
@ArmyMommy Well I was a marine wife who went thru my husband beating on me, well I told him if it happened again I was calling his command. Well he kept his hands off me for a while, well I didn't forget what I said but I guess he did. He started beating on me, I picked up the phone he asked me what I was doing, I told him he convinced me they would do nothing, I backed out. When he was at work the next morning I was so mad at myself that I belived him, so picked up the phone and made the call I thought would fix everything. Well.......he got in trouble alright! Lost he rank, which ment pay as well, he wasn't allowed to move up in rank for a year, we had to go to counciling, he had to go to anger management. Well because of the losing rank and pay we got kicked out of military housing, had to move into a house we hated, we fought and argued all the time because of the consitant reminder of the choices we both made. We are not together anymore! I wish I would have know all that would happen when I made that call, so I could make an educated choice.
@ArmyMommy these women are exactly right. Going to his command will not only affect just him but your whole household, this is why I said just give yourself some time & space. I am also in the army & so is my husband. I have seen soooooo many woman go through this and end up going to their husband's command & then coming back begging for them to undo the punishment. I am so sorry again for your husband's wrong doing. I do believe he is wrong for trying to say that it's wrong for you to be mad & over-reacting. He should be thanking you for letting him keep his rank & pay.
@miaradavis thank you @ArmyMommy I was so trying not to put my story on here, but I didn't know how else to make my point about knowing all the facts before you make a choice. I really felt like I was the one getting punished for my choices. (Even though my husband was clearly in the wrong)
@Heather3girl, I really appreciate your transparency. @miaradavis, He actually said he knows he was wrong for being inappropriate, but feels that taking it to his superiors was over reacting. After thinking about what you ladies have said, I agree. We're going to FRG on Monday to sign up for counseling. I wish I had some preglies here too! We're in Kentucky.
Comments
@Janet_2011, I hate cheaters too.
@miaradavis, He actually said he knows he was wrong for being inappropriate, but feels that taking it to his superiors was over reacting. After thinking about what you ladies have said, I agree. We're going to FRG on Monday to sign up for counseling. I wish I had some preglies here too! We're in Kentucky.