guess im the bitch :(

momtob

Lilly is almost 8 months old and her dad is a good dad. We live together, share $, I stay home like I always wanted and over all I think were pretty happy. But I do a lot as most sahm do. I tried to tell him that I feel like when's he's here sometimes, he's not very engaged with Lilly, like he puts her in her little excer-saucer thing and goes out for a smoke. She's safe and happy but he does it a lot and its starting to bother me more and more. He doesn't get how much I do..laundry, cooking, cleaning, paying the bills on time, dealing with the realitor and the house we have been trying to get for 5 months now! (Fuck bank of america and their short sale underwriters, that's a whole different story) *sigh* so he says I never let him do what he wants to do and he's better off just not trying to be himself cause I just get mad. I love him but I feel like he's being really childish and self involved. I feed, bathe, change and play with Lilly all day everyday and when I ask for 15 mins for a shower he rolls his eyes, says 'can I have a smoke first?' And takes 20 minutes outside playing on his phone. I could have showered with her playing in the bath room by then! Just feeing like he doesn't get it. I know he works hard and I appreciate that but his job doesn't end at 5 when he clocks out. Sorry I'm all over the place, just bummed and no one to talk too he went for a drive to clear his head.

Sjmomof3

@momtob I understand completly. Im a sahm too because he wants me too. We have 3 kids though and it gets hard dealing with them day in and day our basically by myself. He works hard and I dont expect him to do much bur yeah I all I want is a shower and he gets a atitude but then he complains when I don't shave my legs. Yeah, when after five min you are calling for me I don't have time for that stuff

ceegsmommy75

I understand, my BF isn't quite that annoying, but he would get pissy when I would ask for a break, so I left him alone with our 2 kids for 3 hours and he changed his attitude. He realized what I do ALLLLLL day. I also told him honestly to stop being a little biotch and suck it up so we could both enjoy our kids. He works hard, but GUESS WHAT???? They still have to be fathers when they come home, just like we still have to be mothers all day and all night good luck

momtob

Thanks for responding @sjmomof3 how funny..sj are his initials lol. Its so hard feeling like no one can relate and he doesn't get it. He finally gets home and all I hear about is his work, or his truck or how he wants to go camping this weekend or hang with friends..hello your a dad! Priorties please!! Your daughter waits all day to see her daddy and he comes in..complains for 15 minutes..smokes for 15 minutes then plays with her when HE feels like it he's a good day when he's there just so absent sometimes. I feel like I shouldn't complain caus eat least Lilly has a dad that loves her ya know? Just frustrating at times but thanks for listening

momtob

@ceegsmommy75 'stop being a little biotch' ! That's awesome and made me actually lol..thanks!! Its so true, his complaining and wanting to be somewhere else ruins my mood and he doesn't get that thanks so much for listening, its so nice to know I'm not just over reacting

Scott_Jessica1stbaby

@momtob Youhave every right to be upset. I am a sahm too. It almost sounds like my Husband. He loves being a dad, but does not understand all the responsibility that comes along with it. Just like your man he sticks our little girl in her bouncer and sits on the couch playing on his phone and watches tv. That drives me crazy too. They just don't get it. Hopefully eventually it will sink in before we lose our minds. Good luck. I hope you are able to get through to him. I had a long talk with mine and explained to him that just changing a diaper every once in awhile would be helpful. I don't expect him to bend over backwards, but he has to try once in awhile.

momtob

@scott_jessica1stbaby that's exactly it! That's him to a tee! He loves being a dad but doesn't seem to understand the responsibility. Like, I told him he's the first man Lilly will ever love and he needs to set the bar high for her so she doesn't pick losers when she's older (not in those words lol, it was a little more touching when we talked) but he rolled his eyes and just said I know I tried to talk him but I feel like the bad guy now and he went for a drive..so..yeah..didn't go so hot. They just don't understand. Thanks for the comment

caroline8_p

Im a bitch too.

smcox

How on earth do you explain to men that sticking them in the bouncer or on their play mat while playing video games is not spending time with them??? My husband does it all the time! I hate it. And I know he works hard all day and wants to relax, but so do I! I stay up all night with him and tend to his cries and what not all day, I cook, I clean, and do everything around the house! My job is 24/7 when do I get a lunch break or clock out and go relax? I don't! Love my hubby and he is a good dad, just drives me crazy some times.

momtob

@caroline8_p haha..I think we can all be at times
@smcox I have even used the same 'clocking out' analogy and he says I have time when the baby sleeps o_O ok..I guess..that's a long 15-30 minutes every 5 hours to get stuff done, lemme tell ya. It is 24/7 and Lillys been up several tmes at night cause she's teething and getting a cold. She's so stuffy..poor little thing she has slept 12 hours a night getting up to eat 1 time since she was 3 months old and I'm not used to it so I'm exhausted on top of it all. Thanks for listening to my vent and the comment

[Deleted User]

thats meee!!!

0utlaw_Sphinx

My hubs doesn't complain about me not doing things but he is remarkably similar in his ideas of "spending time" with our boys as was stated here. When our second was born he was so helpful (just like with our first) then just went completely the other way complaining about being so tired with work and school. Then got all kinds of defensive when I reminded him I was a SAHM to our 3 yr old boy while being pregnant, going to school (and kept a 4.0 GPA) and writing freelance. Smh. He's tired?! Lol, please. Yea, he works hard and is in charge of grown ups who sometimes act like children but he acts as if he doesn't clock out and leave. I may attempt to clock out but it just doesn't happen. Lol