thoughts before my d&c
No need for comments..just wanted this off my mind....
March 13 I had a d&c, I should have been 11w6d but baby had passed at 8w6d. For 9days I had knowingly carried around my dead baby...a dead baby I bonded with...we were so ready for this baby and wanted,prayed,and wished for this baby...we tried 13 cycles with about 6 months off between due to hubby's military training..I had felt off and different the whole pregnancy..I had a bad feeling the entire time..I knew it just couldn't be...around the time I found out it was like everything was falling into place...hubby got a better job, we moved into a better and bigger place...we were whole...I knew it couldn't be perfect, something had to go wrong...and it did March 4th my world come tumbling down...I had went to the er for dehydration and just needing that reassurance...but what I got was an "I'm sorry" ..between then and the 13th I had 2 ultrasounds and 3 blood tests...
9 days later I went in for a d&c.I was just so ready for them to take it out and to go on with life and to start trying again..but as I was being wheeled off to the or I couldn't stop thinking about how when I woke my belly would be empty and my baby would be who knows where..I couldn't stop rubbing my belly and cringe wishing I could keep my baby... safe..in my belly where it belonged..
Mommy loves you little one! I know your watching over your daddy big brother and I..
Rip
Jan-march '12
March 13 I had a d&c, I should have been 11w6d but baby had passed at 8w6d. For 9days I had knowingly carried around my dead baby...a dead baby I bonded with...we were so ready for this baby and wanted,prayed,and wished for this baby...we tried 13 cycles with about 6 months off between due to hubby's military training..I had felt off and different the whole pregnancy..I had a bad feeling the entire time..I knew it just couldn't be...around the time I found out it was like everything was falling into place...hubby got a better job, we moved into a better and bigger place...we were whole...I knew it couldn't be perfect, something had to go wrong...and it did March 4th my world come tumbling down...I had went to the er for dehydration and just needing that reassurance...but what I got was an "I'm sorry" ..between then and the 13th I had 2 ultrasounds and 3 blood tests...
9 days later I went in for a d&c.I was just so ready for them to take it out and to go on with life and to start trying again..but as I was being wheeled off to the or I couldn't stop thinking about how when I woke my belly would be empty and my baby would be who knows where..I couldn't stop rubbing my belly and cringe wishing I could keep my baby... safe..in my belly where it belonged..
Mommy loves you little one! I know your watching over your daddy big brother and I..
Rip
Jan-march '12
Comments