Libido (Remember to Cuddle!)

QweenNique

Since I have had my son back in 2008 my sex drive has plummeted. I didn’t know what the cause of it was. I thought it could be everything under the son but me, maybe I gained too much weight, which I did, maybe it’s the birth control, so I removed it, and got pregnant, I don’t know what it is but after having children I just don’t have that same libido I had before. I WANT IT BACK! I decided that I was going to educate not only myself but others as well.

Have anyone else felt like this?

willothewisp

Libido? Don't know what that is anymore, disappeared within a few weeks of falling pregnant & now 3 months pp & still no sign of it returning :-(

natashalynn

I'm with ya. I so badly want to want to have sex!!!

QweenNique

Well ladies do you enjoy it when it starts, at least?

Kimberly4411

Its painful for me i hold back tears most of the time... If i had to guess what rape felt like, then that'd be it... And i also have no libido

Fate

@Kimberly4411 That is the saddest thing. I pray you get to enjoy it soon.

Kimberly4411

@fate thank you! My episeotomy stiches didnt heal right and now that my body knows its painful my vagina closes its hard to explain

Fate

@Kimberly4411 I can't imagine. I get what you mean, like your vagina tenses so you aren't relaxed enough to accept him inside. I am so sorry. Childbirth changes everything.

sehra4177

Ugh I feel ya...I've been like that since I had my eight year old:( I feel bad bc I just don't want it. The only time I do is if we had a few drinks lol! I know he feels like I don't want him anymore and that makes me feel bad:( I've even tried the whole "fantasy" thing. I've gotten stuff from adult toy parties...nothing!

QweenNique

First thing ladies don't think I'm crazy but having a baby it traumatic for our vaginal region. We have to go through a lot down there while carrying a baby and even deliverying. Even if you had a c
Section. I battled and still battle at first I didnt want it at all it hurt it didn't do anything for me. I even thought maybe he just doesn't do it for me. Well I lost weight cut my hair and felt good again. Didn't last long however I could bare it now. It didn't hurt. What changed everything for me is talking about sex with other females! Toys, lubes, sex, all of it. Hear stories telling stories being open and comfortable to discuss it made me relax. My husband didnt understand but us women do. I say talk about it. I am now a consultant and I love it. Introduce toys to your marriage different lubes and messages. Feel sexy and wanted and most importantly please yourself. You have to mentally and physically prep for lions making all over again. Remember ladies it feels good!

QweenNique

@sehra4177 if you don't mind sharing what adult toys did you get? Some stuff might not work. I can't get into pornos I don't like the lack of chemistry lol

sehra4177

Oh, just stuff to help me. They have this stuff that is supposed to make you feel it more down there. I forget the name of it...I just threw the jar out about a month ago. Umm, also I got a vibrator and it helps bc he uses it on me to get me in the mood , that helps alot bc usually he rushes and I get nothing out of it. This way he has to take his time...and can't rush. By the time we actually do it I'm pretty ready. They have a lot of oils, edible body paints, edible lotions...like massage lotions. I haven't tried those yet. The parties are fun bc usually its a bunch of girls just trying the stuff, like the hostess let's you try tasting the lotions and you get to smell the massage lotions.

sehra4177

Apm
Some are called slumber parties you could Google it.

QweenNique

Sounds about right lOl. I do exactly that! Well I consult so I put on the presentation. Have you guys tried a couple toy like a sleeve or belt? I love that husbands aren't intimidated by toys and actually want to take control with it. If it helps get you where you need to be that's great! Eventually it will not and you will stay ready.

I do Pure Romance.


It's helping trust my husband was ready to leave me after five months without making love. Ooops I dudbt know he was waiting on me lol.

QweenNique

Remember to cuddle, you may desire to have intercourse which is PERFECTLY NORMAL, however it is ok to cuddle, just let your partner know that this is not an open door for intercourse. Cuddling is a form of being physical and it makes a woman feel as though they can be held without the expectancy of sex.

Cuddling is fine, first step to acheiving the big "O" after baby.

myHEARTZx3

Omg after baby #3 mines is completely gone. It never plummeted like this before lol I just want nothing to do with it. Idk what's wrong with me.

And I agree with the comment above. My bf does not get it....lol

QweenNique

@myHeartzx3, do you enjoy it once started?

dadof2n1togo

Think I need to leave this somewhere for the wife to read lol. Our sex life is definitely DOA lol, I think we are at a record of about 5 times in 15 months or so. Nothing in the last 9 weeks at least lol. I have just given up trying anymore and concentrate on trying not to show I'm frustrated and annoyed, so I exercise for close to 3 hours a day when not at work. It doesn't help but at least then I'm to tired to care anymore lol.

captivated

I had the opposite occur. My sex drive since having my son has increased dramatically...and BD's has disappeared. I don't know what to do to get him interested again! :-((

tbaby2011

@qweennique btw i LOVE pure romance!!! Lol :-D

QweenNique

@tbaby2011 I'm glad you do! I do as well. ;;)