really?!

sehra4177

So the past two weeks I've been feeling a little depressed. I wanted to wait bc alot of people told me if depression goes past 4 weeks after having a baby then you should seek help. So the past week has been hell. I called the number given to me by the hospital, on Mon. I get a guy who answers sounding like I woke him up. He says he is the answering service. Takes my info and says they will call me...its a therapist and psychiatrist office. So Wed since no one called I called another place a girl at work recommended. Same thing, answering service. Back to the first place, called again and left a message...got a call from the place by friend told me about, not seeing new patients til Aug. Ok, I'm panicking, heart palpitations, can't breathe..How do I wait til Aug?! So after last night another anxiety attack...I called my OB today...bc I figured they might be able to suggest an office to go to. They transfer me to a lady who is asking all these questions. Placed me on hold and told me I need to go to the ER...or she would send crisis intervention to my house. I had no one to watch the baby bc she said someone had to bring me. I think bc on the phone I could barely talk or breathe she thought I needed to go. I told her I was depressed and couldn't handle it anymore. I get to the ER, wait forever. The Dr came in and pretty much said admitting me would prob be more stressful at this point .(bc I told her all the crap I've been going thru on top of ppd) she asked if I would harm myself, I said I've thought about it but I love my kids,so much that I would never want them to have to live without me. Lately its been on my mind alot. Just way too much atudz to deal with. So basically sat for two hours, got anti depressants and anxiety meds. And another number to call with an answering service. Square one! I want to have a therapist to talk to...so now I'm back to calling and no response:(

mommyof3girls

Im sorry im no help but i just want to give u a hug and tell u to hang in there. Keep searching for the help u feel u need. Ur being a very good mother seeking help when u feel u need it. Its important. I hope things get better and u feel like ur self again soon.

sehra4177

@mommyof3girls @bexiewexie thx the worst thing is I had a 150.00 co pay, for them really doing nothing. I thought they sent me there to talk to someone...bc that's the hospital in our area that has a psych unit. There is so much going on, my family all of a sudden isn't talking to me, found out my daughter was being called names in school, and her teacher told her to ignore it. My two year old decided to start the terrible twos, kicking throwing fits. Month ago found out I will be losing my job in Jun after 8 years with them. My dad (prior to our boy talking) rushed to the hospital couldn't breathe had congestive heart failure. I'm sure I'm prob leaving something out:(
@2ndbutfirst thx for the info, I'm def gonna call bc I really need something right away.

sehra4177

and dealing with the people at the hospital that when you mention depression or ppd, who look at you like you shouldn't be feeling like this and it made me feel like I shouldn't feel this way:( or I am wrong for feeling this way.

sehra4177

@bexiewexie that's a great idea...might do that. My OB office made it sound as if I'd be getting a psychiatrist to talk to right there that why I went...

DavidnAadynsMama

I struggled with depression as well. I dont think it was PPD, it was just severe depression. I also had anxiety/panic attacks and I was on many different depression meds. They kept changing the meds and the dosage like every 2-3 weeks. It was ridiculous and none of it helped. This may seem odd, but start writing. Just write your thoughts down. Explain to yourself how you are feeling, what bothers you, what stresses you out, what makes you sad, what you are worried about etc. It may sound stupid but it helps soooo much to just put it in words and to get it out. Write in a journal, write poems, ANYTHING to just get it out. No one has to read it but you. I honestly found that so much more helpful than any therapy session or depression med. I would sit and write how I was feeling or write a poem & sit there and cry as I did it. After.i finished, I would feel so much better for the day. I would feel like I had released it and eventually, I felt less and less miserable. Write a list of all the little things that DO make you happy. Like.... It makes me so happy to hear my 5 month old giggle, and when I get home from work & he smiles so big I know this all may seem stupid but I swear it really does help. I hope you give it a try. I know what you are going through & how awful it can be so stay strong hun. Things will get better!!