I was jus wondering what age should u start discipling?? My bby is 8mo nd starting to b a handful... She throws lil tantrums n hates when I say no. I don't feel confortable spanking her yet..just need opinions...first time mom here!
I started slapping my LO hands and telling her no at 6-7 months. Not hard but enough to get her attention when she was in things she wasn't supposed to be or when she throws tantrums
From what my child development classes I know at that age they don't understand so it's not ready going to help. How I understand it is when u can explain to the child what they are going wrong and why then u can discipline BC that was created to teach them a lesson to not do it again. If they don't really know what they are doing then they can't really learn just yet. I personally would wait until they are at last 1. And I wouldn't hit I would firmly say no and remove from the situation same as hitting the hands just move them and they say after that go to time out for things b4 any form of hitting even if it's not hard. But everyone is different. And I personally avoid that as much as possible a lot of it is BC my father was very physical when it came to discipline and I was always with bruises all over so it is sensitive subject.
Everything they're doing as infants is part of how they learn, so I don't say no and I definitely don't (and won't ever) hit or spank. If she's getting into something I just walk over and move her away. Yes I do it a hundred times a day, but she's just learning about her surroundings so I don't want to make her feel bad or wrong.
@summergirl22 thank you, and I think that is so great and I'm sure takes a lot of patients to discipline your children and controlling you're emotions .
My father was pretty abusive both emotionally and physically. So I make sure I do tell her not to do something or to calm down before I do it. I don't yell at her and i dont go straight to slapping her hands its the after the 3rd or so time I have to tell her something that I do it. I don't believe in wailing on your kid that's for sure but I don't believe in not disciplining your kid either.
My 6 month old pulls on my hair, I say no and gently pull my hair out of her hand. She usually loosens her grip when I say no. I won't ever hit her, I was spanked when I was a kid and never want her to feel the way I did.
I know a lot of parents dont agree and thats perfectly okay, but with my children, when they are old enough to crawl and get into things, they are old enough to get a little smack on the hand (after being moved and told no) and when they are old enough to walk, they are old enough to get a little swat on the butt. Obviously not hard, but that is how I do it and how I always will. I was abused as a child so I can understand where some parents are coming from but I believe a small child understands more than we give them credit for. To each their own though. Just do what YOU feel comfortable with mama
I just want to clarify, I will be disciplining my daughter, but not until she's old enough to know that she's doing something wrong. It's not a free for all lol, but at 9 months old she's just exploring and learning and I will not punish her for that.
I tell Maximo no and pull him away from things I.E. my plants or my hair ! I think babies understand more then we think..... I plan on using a firm voice till I think he knows what he is doing is wrong or what he is doing can seriously hurt him! Not putting an age on it just going with my mommy instincts. I do smack my children 5-6 when they do something serious..... I do raise my voice with them along with discussions.... I give my older children chores too. I use multiple ways of discliplining it all depends on the crime. I feel there is a difference between smacking or swat on butt and abusing leaving bruises on your child. Some people take things way too far. Smacking can be used effectively without turning to abuse and you as mom can decide when it's appropriate to use it ! Trust yourself! Your mom!
@Jules I definitely have a lot of patience! I do discipline my son and I will discipline my daughter when she is older. My son has always been disciplined with time outs, taking toys away, or not being able to do something fun (like go to the park). When he was around 2, I would literally have to hold him in tightly in my arms to give him a time out. He would cry, squirm, and try to get away. But after about 2 mins he would calm down and I would tell him what it was that he did and why it was wrong. I never told him he was a "bad kid" I don't believe children are "bad" only bad parents. After a while I had a time out chair where he would go for however many years he was, he would get that many minutes in time out. Shortly after that, I would start to count and if I got to 3, he would go to time out. By the time he was 4 he no longer got time outs because he would stop whatever it is he was doing by the time I got to number1 or 2. My son is very well behaved and we have an amazing bond. He trusts me to keep him safe and out of harms way, discipling through hitting only teaches the opposite (in my eyes). I have known mothers who hit, and I have seen their children flinch whenever their mother raises their hand even though she wasn't going to hit them. Those kids are the same kids who have hit my son and even biten him. My son has never hit anyone. He is so sweet and caring and I do not think he would be the way he is today, had I disciplined him through hitting.
@summergirl22 that is great it sounds like u and I see thing in a similar way. I wish my bf would see it that way with his first daughter BC he never has any discipline for her and she gets the whole diva thing on me and I haven't gotten a chance to see it around too many other adults other then my parents and his parents I which case sometimes she gets the same way I wish I could help him see things the way u and I think BC he just keeps giving so she is acting as though she doesn't have to respect anyone and she is 5 1/2 now so something needs to change soon.
Personally, I don't think hitting is ever ok. My 4 and 6 year old are super good kids. We get down to their level, and explain what was wrong with what they did. My babies will never be hit or spanked either. Discipline doesn't have to put fear in your kids, they can know how serious you are just by the tone of your voice. Set boundaries and hold to them.
My lo is 6 months. If she is doing something like pulling my hair or pinching me I just talk to her, something like 'taylah please stop pulling mummies hair it hurts' and pull her hands away. I know she doesn't understand words but she can sense emotions so she knows im sad. The only things I smacked for under age 2 was dangerous things like touching the stove. I figured better to get a smack on the hand than a permanent painful scar or set the house on fire. After that age my son has gotten a few smacks on the bum, but now most of the time the threat is enough so the action is not necessary. It's also a last resort after talking, time out, taking toys away, tv restrictions, activity restrictions.
I have 4 kids 10 months to 19 years old... And I still took ANOTHER infant health class when my LO was born.
They tell you that discipline should not start until close to 2 when they start putting together words and of course its time outs and taking things away. From 4 to 12 months temper tantrums are normal and should be expected. They do it out of frustration because they have a lack of communication.
Pulling hair can also be frustration or even a game.
My LO slaps food out of the spoon when she doesn't want it.. it drives me crazy but I know that's her way of say... "look lady, get that shit out of my face... I shook my head no 12 times." LOL
Babies are struggling with communication, teething, separation anxiety, self displacement, ear infections, growth spurts, allergies, being bored, being tired, ignored and so much more that we can't tell by just looking at them.
Be patient and understanding... We learned in our class that at the time of the tantrums... Stop what your doing and pick up your baby and hug them and talk To them... It makes a world of difference!
@Jules I'm sorry to hear that, that must be beyond frustrating! Children need boundaries, they need to know they can't get or act however they want. As a matter of fact, children want boundaries. Maybe once she starts school, maybe she'll change. You should try telling him that if he doesn't start discipling her soon, she will never take him seriously, which could be very dangerous when she's a teen! She needs to know it's not whatever she says goes. Tell him that if he won't discipline her you will because you're not going to allow her to negatively influence your daughter! Maybe once he sees you discipline her, maybe he'll start as well. The bottom line is your not being mean you're actually helping her.
My sisters kid is 14 months old will lay perfectly still for a diaper change since he was nine months old. I ask my mom how she does it she said smack AJ a few times he will to. Not that my mom actually wanted me to do that. But i am pretty sure they can learn they don't want to be hurt.
I don't believe in it until at least one. They teach you in child psychology that they cannot even comprehend right or wrong at that age. Same for potty training- if a child doesn't know the feeling that they have to potty BEFORE they potty, then potty training will be unsuccessful. Trying to tell an 8 or 10 month old "no" isn't going to accomplish much
@mom2ing actually no I didn't make it seem like parents who spank are abusing their kids, I didn't even use the term spank! And how was what I said bias when I'm telling you first hand what I have seen. She would do more than spank, she would slap his hand, arm, leg...whatever she could. And I know someone else who does this as well. I never said your child bites or hits, but the children who I'm referring to do! And guess how they get disciplined when they do that? They get smacked, how could you teach a child not to hit when you are hitting them. (not directing that to you, just in general) while I do not spank either, a spank on the butt is completely different than a slap somewhere else. sorry if you felt you had to defend yourself, but you took it your own way. Like I said I was sharing something I have witnessed. Regardless, I would never hit my child. Everyone parents differently. Time outs work great, my son is also the most sweetest child in his kindergarten class. His teacher and many other parents have emphasized this.
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They tell you that discipline should not start until close to 2 when they start putting together words and of course its time outs and taking things away. From 4 to 12 months temper tantrums are normal and should be expected. They do it out of frustration because they have a lack of communication.
Pulling hair can also be frustration or even a game.
My LO slaps food out of the spoon when she doesn't want it.. it drives me crazy but I know that's her way of say... "look lady, get that shit out of my face... I shook my head no 12 times." LOL
Babies are struggling with communication, teething, separation anxiety, self displacement, ear infections, growth spurts, allergies, being bored, being tired, ignored and so much more that we can't tell by just looking at them.
Be patient and understanding... We learned in our class that at the time of the tantrums... Stop what your doing and pick up your baby and hug them and talk To them... It makes a world of difference!
@candy101 I would never want my child to be afraid that I'll hurt them if they don't behave. I'm sorry but that sounds horrible.